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Old 11-21-2010, 05:19 PM   #1
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First of all, many butches and femmes are also lesbians, so the reasoning doesn't make any sense (less bed death for butch-femme vs lesbian).

Second of all, butches aren't the only ones with cocks.

Third, butch femme sexuality isn't cock-centric or centered around butches.

Oh and the thought of lesbian sex (lesbians who don't view themselves or their partners as having a cock) as dildo-centric just makes me laugh, lol.

Even if there supposedly was some distinction between seeing sex centered around a cock vs. a dildo, how would that make a difference in less bed death anyway? One is considered a toy and one is not???? That makes for less bed death?
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Old 11-21-2010, 06:02 PM   #2
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I am not partnered with a butch and I am *very happy* with what happens in my bed.

I have in the past enjoyed the "company" of butches and bois (lesbian-identified and not, stone and not), cismen, transmen, androgynous lesbians, feminine lesbians and one straight girl. Of the butches, some were cock-centric, some didn't even want to consider wearing one, some wanted to be slapped, some wanted to be called Daddy. Some were mostly hands-on, some were mostly on their backs, etc. It seemed to me there was no rule about how a butch f*cks any more than there's a rule about how anybody else does.

I have zero complaints regarding the "butch cock" but (to me) it's not a magic wand and you don't have to be butch to have an immersive, visceral experience wearing one. And for those butches who don't identify with or enjoy the experience, I don't think that subtracts from their inherent butchness one iota.

I really haven't noticed a huge correlation between people's identities and what they do in bed, with the exception of the term "stone" which still varies a lot from person to person.

PS. I'm not offended - I just don't want have one very specific myth of butch-femme sex - or lesbian sex - to be perpetuated unchecked. There are lesbians who take their cocks very seriously (like me) and there are lesbians who consider them toys and there are lesbians who consider them unnecessary, and there are lesbians who really want absolutely nothing to do with them. There are butches who take their cocks very seriously, there are butches who consider them toys and there are butches who consider them unnecessary and there are butches who really want absolutely nothing to do with them. There are femmes who take their cocks very seriously (again, like me!), there are femmes who consider them toys, there are femmes who consider them unnecessary and there are femmes who really want absolutely nothing to do with them. Anyway, I'm sure you get the idea.

I'm betting what you said though Rope - has been true for you and your experience. I don't think you meant anything offensive in your post.

The first butch I "dated" said very negative things about "lesbians" in bed, and she tended to look for straight girls because she had unstated boundaries about how she wanted to be touched and looking for straight feminine women was her solution. I was just coming to understand my sexuality when I met her, and after our first (and only) encounter, she told me I was definitely a "lesbian" and then she told all her friends I was "too butch" for her. However, she never stated her boundaries, she seemed to be quite happy during the encounter. Eh, the experience was painful all around, and I think it would have been less so if people didn't assume that these identities equate to certain acts in the bedroom.
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:16 PM   #3
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ok so i aked a group of my hetro biker friends what the top ten toughts they had of lesbians..
overweight
mean
wear flannel shirts
like group sex
wear steel toe boots
short hair
hate men
want to be men
have great BBQs
beer drinker

lol dont kill the messenger!! this was kinda a homework project and came from hetro mens mouths! and they also think were all cool!
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Old 11-22-2010, 08:48 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cody View Post
ok so i aked a group of my hetro biker friends what the top ten toughts they had of lesbians..
overweight
mean
wear flannel shirts
like group sex
wear steel toe boots
short hair
hate men
want to be men
have great BBQs
beer drinker

lol dont kill the messenger!! this was kinda a homework project and came from hetro mens mouths! and they also think were all cool!
Some list, huh? Actually, I think it is good to get some of this from outside the community- these are the very same kinds of things that have been around for years from het men I have run across! Some things never change!!
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Old 11-23-2010, 10:27 PM   #5
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Wow, thanks for reading a whole bunch of things into my post. Guess I'll move on...
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