For those who self-injurer

Apocalipstic · 11-23-2010, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swagger

I hit.. It took me by surprise. I'd cut before, that started when I was 16 and the last time was in 2007 I think. My now ex called me a liar and I carved that word into my arm with a razor blade. The hitting, slapping, punching happened violently and unexpectedly when I was under extreme stress and extremely distressed. Talk about beating oneself up...... (Hell yeah I'm in therapy).

I am in therapy too and it seems to be helping. My psychiatrist said to hit myself in the shoulder, not the head if I must hit myself...which makes sense.

Ive been so stressed lately my hair is actually falling out, instead of me pulling it. Creepy. Maybe becasue I pull it so tight ina bun my head hurts.

I have been doing better about hitting myself, onlyonce recently, but I think about it and my eyelashes are grown back.

swagger · 11-24-2010, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I am in therapy too and it seems to be helping. My psychiatrist said to hit myself in the shoulder, not the head if I must hit myself...which makes sense.

Ive been so stressed lately my hair is actually falling out, instead of me pulling it. Creepy. Maybe becasue I pull it so tight ina bun my head hurts.

I have been doing better about hitting myself, onlyonce recently, but I think about it and my eyelashes are grown back.

my shrink [and by shrink i mean psychologist, in south africa, psychiatry is expensive and most of our qualified ones leave the country] said try to open your hands, think of comforting yourself, holding your head instead. i don't have time to think though, it's always out of the bloody blue. *pow* one time, i punched my throat repeatedly. not cool, so not cool. there might be a break of a few months between bouts [lool, bouts like boxing..] or it could be all too frequent.

well done for stopping the eyelashes thing, that's really great.

girl_dee · 11-24-2010, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swagger

my shrink [and by shrink i mean psychologist, in south africa, psychiatry is expensive and most of our qualified ones leave the country] said try to open your hands, think of comforting yourself, holding your head instead. i don't have time to think though, it's always out of the bloody blue. *pow* one time, i punched my throat repeatedly. not cool, so not cool. there might be a break of a few months between bouts [lool, bouts like boxing..] or it could be all too frequent.

well done for stopping the eyelashes thing, that's really great.

yup i get this.. spur of the moment knee-jerk reaction to an intense emotion.. bang its done, all better.

swagger · 11-24-2010, 02:15 PM

Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror...

girl_dee · 11-24-2010, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swagger

Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror...

lol yup.. it's not something people are used to hearing and especially from people like me who look pretty normal... we all have our stuff to deal with.

swagger · 11-25-2010, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

lol yup.. it's not something people are used to hearing and especially from people like me who look pretty normal... we all have our stuff to deal with.

Normal how? A guy I know told me hit and that he thought it more "manly" than cutting. More of a male response. For me it is fast enraged violence without planning. When I cut, it was always because I *wanted* to cut. I have never, ever wanted to punch myself hard in the head and throat.

girl_dee · 11-25-2010, 06:03 AM

Normal = a girl who looks like she has got it together and pretty happy with herself..

Not someone who in a fit of self hate or an emotional snap will yank her hair out and take a hammer to her arm. I am WAY better now but there was a day.. a sad dark time when it was bad.. I don't remember a time when I didn't use a punch or cut to make me feel better. I can be sitting in a restaraunt with friends, suddenly a feeling comes over me, off to the bathroom I go.. punch, pinch, yank, hit... all better.. no one would ever guess.

Being an endorphin junkie I tend to do other things to bring that feeling but in a more controlled setting.. its the spur of the moment fits that are the hard ones.

11-24-2010, 02:15 PM	#4
swagger Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch daddy Preferred Pronoun?: i dont care. Relationship Status: happy Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: crush zone Posts: 57 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 43 Thanked 126 Times in 42 Posts Rep Power: 210973	Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror... __________________ unapologetically butch

11-25-2010, 06:03 AM	#7
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Normal = a girl who looks like she has got it together and pretty happy with herself.. Not someone who in a fit of self hate or an emotional snap will yank her hair out and take a hammer to her arm. I am WAY better now but there was a day.. a sad dark time when it was bad.. I don't remember a time when I didn't use a punch or cut to make me feel better. I can be sitting in a restaraunt with friends, suddenly a feeling comes over me, off to the bathroom I go.. punch, pinch, yank, hit... all better.. no one would ever guess. Being an endorphin junkie I tend to do other things to bring that feeling but in a more controlled setting.. its the spur of the moment fits that are the hard ones.