Top 10 Lesbian Myths

BullDog · 11-24-2010, 02:27 PM

You know what Rope, if anyone is reading more into your post you can always clarify if you want. Quite frankly, your post reads as anti-lesbian to me and perpetuating lesbian myths in a thread that was started to debunk them. Feel free to show me I am wrong if you wish.

I do not know you, but I find it hard to believe that you haven't been exposed to a wide range of lesbians given what I do understand your background to be. A mutual friend- a femme lesbian- arranged a get together when you were in Portland years ago- so I know you know some lesbian femmes and butches. I've seen it first hand. Oh and we all met at a lesbian bar and none of the lesbians treated butches badly there. I don't understand why you draw a distinction betwen lesbian and butch-femme or why you did in your post at the very least.

You've been part of the online BF websites for years, you live in the Bay Area, you help arrange BF socials, you are active in the leather community. I am making an educated guess that you know or have met lots of different types of lesbians, many of whom are also butch or femme. So I don't get your remark that lesbians tend to have more bed death than butch-femme because they aren't cock centric (object to a dildo being thought of as a cock- yeah I am lost with your argument so I might haven't gotten it wrong).

AtLast · 11-24-2010, 02:42 PM

I have a problem with any member posting in a specific ZONE (this thread is in the Lesbian Zone) things that are negative about said population- or making generalizations about it. Don't we have enough of this going on in the world at large?

This isn't any different than what recently went on when a member made derogatory remarks about BDSM in a BDSM Zone thread and then started an anti-BDSM thread that also ran down our admin. Not only did our BDSM members take issue with this, but many non-BDSM members did too because they are against censorship as well as the perpetuation of myths about BDSM and the character of people that practice it. That person was moderated, but fast (I was glad to see this)!

Seems like this applies here. FerCripeSakes, the thread was started to banish myths about lesbianism! And there are many members that identify as both
B-F and as lesbian.

The site TOS now includes lesbian-phobia as something members can report for moderation consideration.

Nat · 11-24-2010, 04:20 PM

I am the one who brought up LBD and Rope was responding to me. I don't agree with Rope's theory but in a thread about lesbian myths, Rope offered a theory based on experience as to why the myth doesn't seem to apply to butch-femme relationships. I read that as good intention / unintentional anti-lesbian/anti-butch/anti-woman word choice.

Where did I first hear about lbd? From a silly book ostensibly written by a lesbian for questioning women that I thumbed through at the age of 19. That was the first time I tried to get the door open on my closet - and it was rather discouraging misinformation. I remember thinking very clearly and practically, "well, that'll never work." I put the book down and began dating my future ex-husband a few months later.

One thing that is nice about living now is that there are more representations of lesbian sexuality to be found than I remember existing back then. I hope if a 19 year old me walked into a bookstore today, she might be able to find something a bit more encouraging and representative of a broader spectrum of desire and identity.

BullDog · 11-24-2010, 04:30 PM

Nat, yes, there is a myth about lesbian bed death already out there and you brought it up initially. You weren't perpetuating it.

I don't know why people do the butch-femme vs. lesbian when they overlap and it's not an us vs them issue. This is something I see over and over again on BF websites and I do not care for it at all. Many (in my opinion- particularly in the real world- a majority) of butches and femmes consider themselves to also be lesbians.

As to hys experience, again I don't know hym, but it seems quite puzzling to me that someone exposed to so many different types of people given the geographical area hy lives and social circles hy is part of, would make such a statement.

11-24-2010, 02:27 PM	#1
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	You know what Rope, if anyone is reading more into your post you can always clarify if you want. Quite frankly, your post reads as anti-lesbian to me and perpetuating lesbian myths in a thread that was started to debunk them. Feel free to show me I am wrong if you wish. I do not know you, but I find it hard to believe that you haven't been exposed to a wide range of lesbians given what I do understand your background to be. A mutual friend- a femme lesbian- arranged a get together when you were in Portland years ago- so I know you know some lesbian femmes and butches. I've seen it first hand. Oh and we all met at a lesbian bar and none of the lesbians treated butches badly there. I don't understand why you draw a distinction betwen lesbian and butch-femme or why you did in your post at the very least. You've been part of the online BF websites for years, you live in the Bay Area, you help arrange BF socials, you are active in the leather community. I am making an educated guess that you know or have met lots of different types of lesbians, many of whom are also butch or femme. So I don't get your remark that lesbians tend to have more bed death than butch-femme because they aren't cock centric (object to a dildo being thought of as a cock- yeah I am lost with your argument so I might haven't gotten it wrong). __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

11-24-2010, 04:20 PM	#3
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,970 Times in 2,591 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I am the one who brought up LBD and Rope was responding to me. I don't agree with Rope's theory but in a thread about lesbian myths, Rope offered a theory based on experience as to why the myth doesn't seem to apply to butch-femme relationships. I read that as good intention / unintentional anti-lesbian/anti-butch/anti-woman word choice. Where did I first hear about lbd? From a silly book ostensibly written by a lesbian for questioning women that I thumbed through at the age of 19. That was the first time I tried to get the door open on my closet - and it was rather discouraging misinformation. I remember thinking very clearly and practically, "well, that'll never work." I put the book down and began dating my future ex-husband a few months later. One thing that is nice about living now is that there are more representations of lesbian sexuality to be found than I remember existing back then. I hope if a 19 year old me walked into a bookstore today, she might be able to find something a bit more encouraging and representative of a broader spectrum of desire and identity. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

11-24-2010, 04:30 PM	#4
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Nat, yes, there is a myth about lesbian bed death already out there and you brought it up initially. You weren't perpetuating it. I don't know why people do the butch-femme vs. lesbian when they overlap and it's not an us vs them issue. This is something I see over and over again on BF websites and I do not care for it at all. Many (in my opinion- particularly in the real world- a majority) of butches and femmes consider themselves to also be lesbians. As to hys experience, again I don't know hym, but it seems quite puzzling to me that someone exposed to so many different types of people given the geographical area hy lives and social circles hy is part of, would make such a statement. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

11-24-2010, 02:42 PM	#2
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I have a problem with any member posting in a specific ZONE (this thread is in the Lesbian Zone) things that are negative about said population- or making generalizations about it. Don't we have enough of this going on in the world at large? This isn't any different than what recently went on when a member made derogatory remarks about BDSM in a BDSM Zone thread and then started an anti-BDSM thread that also ran down our admin. Not only did our BDSM members take issue with this, but many non-BDSM members did too because they are against censorship as well as the perpetuation of myths about BDSM and the character of people that practice it. That person was moderated, but fast (I was glad to see this)! Seems like this applies here. FerCripeSakes, the thread was started to banish myths about lesbianism! And there are many members that identify as both B-F and as lesbian. The site TOS now includes lesbian-phobia as something members can report for moderation consideration.