OMG! I Am SOOOOOOO EMBARRASSED!

[Just_G]

Well, I was on my first date with a femme. Dinner was wonderful, we had desert, coffee, and went out to my truck to leave. As I was backing out of the parking spot, I went to look over my right shoulder. She had pulled the mirror down and was applying lipstick. (keep in mind, this shut my filter off immediately!) Then it happened....the words just came out of my mouth...."Oh good, you brought lipstick!" I wanted to run!

I was praying to every single god known to human that I didn't say it out loud...that I somehow managed to retain that thought in my head. NOPE! She then turned to me, holding up her lipstick, with a big smile on her face, replied: "Did you want some?" She looked puzzled. I know I looked horrified that I would say something so stupid.

After that, all my friends started calling me Chandler. If you are a Friends fan at all, there was an episode where Jill Goodacher offered him gum in the vestibule, and he replied "gum would be perfection." He felt as stupid as I did for saying something so crazy stupid to a woman.

"Oh good, you brought lipstick" I have never lived that down and it was about 10 years ago!

Edited to add: I asked her out again after that and got stood up.

[Sachita]

By accident I posted an entire letter to a lover in an industry business forum. This was before Firefox and browser spell check so I typed everything in MS Word to spell check before posting. It was very intimate and detailed. I called her Daddy and made many butch-femme innuendos. Thankfully it was only there a few hours before I get a call from the board admin, who was a personal friend of mine, telling me he removed it. I was so embarrassed. Everyone was cool and no one said anything, thank goodness!

[cinderella]

Hmmmm...it's reasuring to know I'm not the only one who's done such emarrasing things. My story...

I was just getting to know this butch I'd met on one of those gay dating sites. Shortly after we'd met - I think it was like the 3rd interaction, she started writing some very leud and disgusting things about what all she was going to do to me when she had me in her clutches... Now, mind you, I'm not a prude (well, not too much, lol), but this was beyond crossing the line - esp. since I didn't know her. To this date - some 5 or 6 years after the incident - I still turn red thinking about it.

Well, to make a long story short - I emailed a femme buddy of mine full of indignation and telling her what a pig I thought this butch was, and how disgusted I was with her, blah, blah, blah. Well, don't you know I accidentally copied the butch on the email!! I didn't realize I'd done that 'til my buddy informed me of the fact!! Boy, was my face red!!! And, needless to say, I never heard from the butch again - so it wasn't all a total loss, lol.

[deb_U_taunt]

Used the restroom at work on the main floor.
Somehow I tucked the back of my skirt in my panties.
I rode the elevator up to the 3rd floor and walked through the office bldg with my ass hanging out.

New office nickname: peaches

[girl_dee]

WHen i was a banking officer my first account was the banks mulit million dollar supermarket chain.

The name was *Smith Family Giant Supermarkets*

i sent a letter to the CEO introducing myself and sent.... their months reconcilement..... only in my typing i left out the E in Supermarket. It somehow came out as

Smith Family Giant Sperm Market




He called to correct me and for 10 years that account was known as dee's Sperm Market account.

[RockOn]

*bump*
*bump*

[Femmewench]

My best friend was having her 50th birthday party in Ft Lauderdale. My partner and I went and of course didn't bring everything we needed, nor did we discover everything we needed the first or second time we went to the local K-Mart (I think it was a K-Mart.)

On this third trip, we bought a friend who'd adopted my partner. I'm at one end of a very long shoe aisle with the friend. My partner is at the other end of the very long shoe aisle. I hear my partner say: "Hey Eileen, you'll never guess who's here?" I turn and say to he, "Who?" She says, "My dad!" I say, "Not if he's got two arms he's not."

Backstory: I've not met her father, but I do know he's about 6 foot tall with silver hair. His left arm was amputated about 20 years ago.

Out from behind the end of the shoe rack steps a man, about 6 foot tall with silver hair. He takes one more step out, and his left arm sleeve is missing, as is his arm. I have just met my father-in-law. My face never even got red. It went straight from fair complected to purple in a nano-second. I turned around and just started walking.

When my partner could finally talk, after getting control of her laughter, she said, "Honey, that's not my dad. Gotcha!" The gentleman standing next to her was chuckling.

She just couldn't resist when she spotted him (she has a radar for left arm amputees.) She asked him if it would be okay; he thought it was funny.

This was 13 years ago. My partner/wife and I divorced last year. She's still waiting for payback. I still haven't found the perfect opportunity for that, but I keep looking.

[Chained Daisy]

Getting to my Oncology appointment and being asked by the Dr if she can examine me for lumps in my lymph nodes and realising I left the house with
no knickers on.......

In my defence I was freshly showered and moisturising my legs when the door knocked, I slipped my dress on quickly and ran down to answer and then was doing three things at once, as you do, left the house in a rush and didnt realise until I was hopping on the couch.

Only above the waste I tell her sheepishly. OK she smiles with a puzzled look.