Being Friends with an Ex - How Long

Passionaria · 12-22-2009, 12:19 AM

I can understand how you are feeling Daryn. I just separated from a 7 year relationship this summer. We are really trying to be friends, almost like sliding over. Love and caring was never the issue between us. That has always been there. And continues to be. We lived as friends for years, and decided to be honest about it, finally. We both have kids, and know each others families, and love them. And we don't want to loose that. Sometimes we have to take breaks, and not see each other for a few weeks. But then we will do social things together. It is taking allot of patience, as feelings arise, but then again how many people in this world do I know for sure really love me???? Not allot, not for real. So it is worth it to me.

There are a few people I don't want to know anymore, as well. Usually has to do with betrayal or dishonesty. I don't come back from that one.

xoxoxo Pashi

Lynn · 12-22-2009, 05:58 AM

I was married for over 20 years. I had hoped to maintain a real friendship with my ex-husband, but, so far, that hasn't happened. We have a decent working relationship, only for the kids. It's been about six years since we separated, but it still seems fresh in many respects. I also realize that the friendship I wanted was never really there in the first place. My brother commented recently that, seeing us together, it doesn't seem different between us now than it did when we were married. I thought that was very telling.

I'm friends with a couple of exes. Some are just out of my life because of time and circumstances, and others, I make a concerted effort to maintain no contact. I don't have a steadfast rule about how to handle relationships after breakups. If there is a chance of continuing a friendship with someone I loved, then I try. People who truly know me at that level are few and far between.

Inuus · 12-22-2009, 06:41 AM

I personaly cut ties only if trust etc was broken. Not all relationships end badly. Sometimes people grow apart, its not always a knock down nasty drag out fight.
I have an ex I have been friends with for 27 years, we are best friends she is family to me.
But like people said you might not be able to be friends with her. It takes time. It depends how the relationship ended

12-22-2009, 12:19 AM	#1
Passionaria Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Urban Bohemian : http://youtu.be/IM96Ch9Gx4A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: She ran away with with the Gypsy's ✿ Posts: 2,519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 3,737 Times in 1,248 Posts Rep Power: 16689910	I can understand how you are feeling Daryn. I just separated from a 7 year relationship this summer. We are really trying to be friends, almost like sliding over. Love and caring was never the issue between us. That has always been there. And continues to be. We lived as friends for years, and decided to be honest about it, finally. We both have kids, and know each others families, and love them. And we don't want to loose that. Sometimes we have to take breaks, and not see each other for a few weeks. But then we will do social things together. It is taking allot of patience, as feelings arise, but then again how many people in this world do I know for sure really love me???? Not allot, not for real. So it is worth it to me. There are a few people I don't want to know anymore, as well. Usually has to do with betrayal or dishonesty. I don't come back from that one. xoxoxo Pashi __________________ *Moon cat madness*

12-22-2009, 05:58 AM	#2
Lynn Member How Do You Identify?: Unabashed Feminine Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Her, She Relationship Status: Married! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 689 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,499 Thanked 2,414 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9668975	I was married for over 20 years. I had hoped to maintain a real friendship with my ex-husband, but, so far, that hasn't happened. We have a decent working relationship, only for the kids. It's been about six years since we separated, but it still seems fresh in many respects. I also realize that the friendship I wanted was never really there in the first place. My brother commented recently that, seeing us together, it doesn't seem different between us now than it did when we were married. I thought that was very telling. I'm friends with a couple of exes. Some are just out of my life because of time and circumstances, and others, I make a concerted effort to maintain no contact. I don't have a steadfast rule about how to handle relationships after breakups. If there is a chance of continuing a friendship with someone I loved, then I try. People who truly know me at that level are few and far between. __________________ In the flush of love's light we dare be brave And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free. Maya Angelou Wedding Photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?...1&l=22b092b98c

12-22-2009, 06:41 AM	#3
Inuus Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Single Not Looking Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 265 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 242 Thanked 377 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 3733068	I personaly cut ties only if trust etc was broken. Not all relationships end badly. Sometimes people grow apart, its not always a knock down nasty drag out fight. I have an ex I have been friends with for 27 years, we are best friends she is family to me. But like people said you might not be able to be friends with her. It takes time. It depends how the relationship ended __________________ “Kindness and compassion toward all living things is the mark of a civilized society.”- Cesar Chavez