"Butch" and "Femme" - Truly Antiquated Terms or More Marginalization?

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Arwen

For me, lesbian is synonymous with a woman who enjoys having female-oriented sex with another woman. My butch lover may be a lesbian (and that's all right by me) but I am not a lesbian in that there are aspects of lesbian sex that do not appeal to me in any shape, form or fashion.

This kind of says to me, say, for example: that if a straight man, who enjoys having sex with a woman - doesn't like anal sex, and say he doesn't like performing oral sex on her - would this make him less heterosexual? No, he is a bio man attracted sexually to a bio woman. Bedroom activities may vary. But I know that this is one reason why you don't ID as lesbian - but since this particular statement was posted, it kind of jumped out at me.

I think what is being said is :

If you were born a biological female and you are attracted (in whatever way) to other biological females, you are, by default, a homosexual, thus = lesbian.

What you do with the word, is purely up to you. (And of course I mean, the general 'you').