What does maturity mean to you?

Kobi · 01-09-2011, 05:37 PM

A group of us, aged 50’s-65ish, went for a little retreat this weekend.
One of the discussions we had was about getting older and what it
meant to us – not in terms of age but the way we choose to live.

Two groups seemed to emerge.

1. the adventurers – like to take on new challenges, grab for the gusto,
like to take risks often.
2. the mellowers – preferring a more sedate existence, like the tried
and true, like to ease into things, take relatively few risks.

Of course each group had plenty to say about the other.
The adventurers felt the mellowers had given up on living and
settled into life. The mellowers felt the adventurers needed to
stop trying to recapture their youth and grow up.

There is a lot of wiggle room here, but would you see yourself
as an adventurer or a mellower or some other category you get
to name?

Gayla · 01-09-2011, 05:44 PM

In my head, I'm an adventurer! In reality, I'm not. As time goes on, I realize that I'm all about quiet and simple and predictable. I like my routine and knowing what to expect from my day. But in my head, man, it's really exciting!

morningstar55 · 01-09-2011, 05:57 PM

interesting topic........ kobi..

hmm id like to think im kinda in the middle.....
half of me likes the adventure..... my job well its a risk factor every time i drive down the highways....
as for the mellow half of me..... i love to just be able to cuddle up in the evening after working all day or a day out doing what ever and just watch some tv... make a nice dinner.. paint.. etc..

Just_G · 01-09-2011, 06:19 PM

First off, great thread!

I consider myself to be of the "settled in" nature, but as I am pushing 40 this year, and having just gone back to school to start part of my life over, I have decided it is time to BE more of an adventurer. There are so many things I have said I was going to do and never done.

Going back to school was the beginning of my new adventure, and I see things like skydiving, running a 5k, finding love (which we ALL know is an adventure all it's own any more!

), finding a new exciting job once I have my degree, and playing lots of volleyball in my future!

I don't think I am trying to recapture my youth by any means...I think I am just ready to come alive again and have some fun!

Laerkin · 01-09-2011, 06:50 PM

Adventure! The older I get, the more important it is to me to grab life by the horns and dip my toe into as many different pools as I possibly can.

If I wonder what something is like, then by god I'm going to try and find out. Life is too short to sit around and wonder. I want to taste it, smell it, feel it, see it, touch it ALL.

Bring on new foods, new places, new friends, new knowledge!!!!

You never know when that bus is gonna hit ya and it's lights out. So I want to live as much as possible with the time I have.

And, the more I experience...the more I WANT to experience.

WOOHOO!!!!!

Blade · 01-09-2011, 07:04 PM

I guess it all depends on how one defines adventure. Will I still jump on a 4 wheeler and act stupid, probably but not real stupid. My ole bones don't heal like they once did.

I'm accepting of change and trying new things. However, I'm very settled and prefer the routine in my day. I'm very predictable from my physical everyday life to the way I will respond to situations. So I'd say I'm sorta in the middle adventurer and mellow.

Great thread by the way!

Gemme · 01-09-2011, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi

A group of us, aged 50’s-65ish, went for a little retreat this weekend.
One of the discussions we had was about getting older and what it
meant to us – not in terms of age but the way we choose to live.

Two groups seemed to emerge.

1. the adventurers – like to take on new challenges, grab for the gusto,
like to take risks often.
2. the mellowers – preferring a more sedate existence, like the tried
and true, like to ease into things, take relatively few risks.

Of course each group had plenty to say about the other.
The adventurers felt the mellowers had given up on living and
settled into life. The mellowers felt the adventurers needed to
stop trying to recapture their youth and grow up.

There is a lot of wiggle room here, but would you see yourself
as an adventurer or a mellower or some other category you get
to name?

The topic isn't quite what I imagined from the thread title, but it here goes anyway (even though I TOTALLY had a fantastic response ready about maturity).

Like June, I like there to be a measure of stability in the things that I do. The more certain I am that things will NOT change or shift on me, the more adventuresome I can be free to be.

little_ms_sunshyne · 01-09-2011, 07:58 PM

This one is a hard one for me to answer:

Can I be a combination?????

I like stability. Stability in my career and home life. FOR SURE!

BUT...

When it comes to matters of the heart I can be an Adventurer
Love is a many-splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!
lol YUP PAINFULLY HOPELESS ROMANTIC!!!!

BUT then.....I become a thinker about it all!

Perhaps my randomness also makes me an adventurer. Some nights I just get in my car and drive 2 to 3 hours to the nearest beach all alone just to sit out, smell the water, and look at the stars (not to mention listen to great music with the windows down).

Can I vote SPLIT PERSONALITY??? lol

Nightshade · 01-09-2011, 08:58 PM

Both and neither. And like one of the posters above, I can't quite figure out what these points have to do with maturity.

As for the two choices, I'm an introverted homebody who's bliss lies in creating a home and feeding, fulfilling and nurturing my loved ones.

I've also been known to fly across the country to meet someone I've fallen in love with over the internet.

I take huge risks that most people wouldn't even consider (none of which have to do with sharks or sherpas), but probably lead one of the most boring daily lived you will ever encounter.

So I guess my answer is... um... yes?

Gráinne · 01-10-2011, 12:19 AM

A "settler" in the fact that I need a home to come back to, enough money in the bank to meet my bills and needs, and a career that as far as I know, won't go pfft.

An "adventurer", in that I want to see the world! I want to take classes in anything I please, jump out of airplanes, surf, and climb a mountain. I want to learn to belly dance. I want to take the Trans-Sib across Russia. You know, everything and anything.

Turtle · 01-10-2011, 02:00 AM

Yes to both.
Certainly, we love gettin cozy on the couch, the motorcycle days are over, and truth-be-told- our knees get achy when a storm is coming in.....

And no, I'm not jumping out of airplanes, but in the last few years I'm trying "new" things - I got a real helicopter lesson for a birthday (LOVED IT!!!), I'm singing in a group IN PUBLIC, I've had a role in a play - those are adventures for me.

"Maturity" can be a loaded word, but I've been enjoying some sweetness to aging - some of that "...and the wisdom to know the difference" thing, some being comfortable with being competent, some not getting cranked up like I used to.....tis a good thing. It's been enjoyable trying new things because I'm not so worried about how it'll turn out

Rockinonahigh · 01-10-2011, 02:43 AM

At this point in my life I finaly have the stablity in my job,home and family wich gives me the ablity to do the things I wanted to do before but couldnt because of being a responsable single parrent,my mothers care taker for a long time as well as going to college to expand my life and ablity to work in a meaningfull job.Maturity is (to me) being there when u r needed,doing the right thing even when I knew I had to put things aside till later,keeping the house bills paid,food in the cubbard,the manythings that a family needs to keep going.I sometimes wanted to blink and make some one else take this responasblity for while so I could take a deep breath,have 5 minits to myself.This didnt happen so I just kept on holding the world as we knew it together as best I could.Now im takeing that deep breath,the more than 5 minits for myself..now im going thrue a late early adult hood I should have had before.Makeing new friends,learning better ways to live life,realiseing that its ok for me to just live life and enjoy the friendship and geting to know real people.one of the best things I have learned is,I dont have to battle my way thrue things and can be part of life not being on the outside looking in.

01-09-2011, 05:37 PM	#1
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,633 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	What does maturity mean to you? A group of us, aged 50’s-65ish, went for a little retreat this weekend. One of the discussions we had was about getting older and what it meant to us – not in terms of age but the way we choose to live. Two groups seemed to emerge. 1. the adventurers – like to take on new challenges, grab for the gusto, like to take risks often. 2. the mellowers – preferring a more sedate existence, like the tried and true, like to ease into things, take relatively few risks. Of course each group had plenty to say about the other. The adventurers felt the mellowers had given up on living and settled into life. The mellowers felt the adventurers needed to stop trying to recapture their youth and grow up. There is a lot of wiggle room here, but would you see yourself as an adventurer or a mellower or some other category you get to name? __________________

01-09-2011, 05:57 PM	#3
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	interesting topic........ kobi.. hmm id like to think im kinda in the middle..... half of me likes the adventure..... my job well its a risk factor every time i drive down the highways.... as for the mellow half of me..... i love to just be able to cuddle up in the evening after working all day or a day out doing what ever and just watch some tv... make a nice dinner.. paint.. etc.. __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

01-09-2011, 06:19 PM	#4
Just_G Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?: He....with an e! Relationship Status: I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the middle Posts: 2,281 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 874 Thanked 6,165 Times in 1,450 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	First off, great thread! I consider myself to be of the "settled in" nature, but as I am pushing 40 this year, and having just gone back to school to start part of my life over, I have decided it is time to BE more of an adventurer. There are so many things I have said I was going to do and never done. Going back to school was the beginning of my new adventure, and I see things like skydiving, running a 5k, finding love (which we ALL know is an adventure all it's own any more! ), finding a new exciting job once I have my degree, and playing lots of volleyball in my future! I don't think I am trying to recapture my youth by any means...I think I am just ready to come alive again and have some fun! __________________ Happy are those who dream and are ready to pay the price to make them come true!

01-09-2011, 07:04 PM	#6
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,414 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I guess it all depends on how one defines adventure. Will I still jump on a 4 wheeler and act stupid, probably but not real stupid. My ole bones don't heal like they once did. I'm accepting of change and trying new things. However, I'm very settled and prefer the routine in my day. I'm very predictable from my physical everyday life to the way I will respond to situations. So I'd say I'm sorta in the middle adventurer and mellow. Great thread by the way! __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

01-10-2011, 12:19 AM	#10
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,388 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	A "settler" in the fact that I need a home to come back to, enough money in the bank to meet my bills and needs, and a career that as far as I know, won't go pfft. An "adventurer", in that I want to see the world! I want to take classes in anything I please, jump out of airplanes, surf, and climb a mountain. I want to learn to belly dance. I want to take the Trans-Sib across Russia. You know, everything and anything. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

01-09-2011, 05:44 PM	#2
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	In my head, I'm an adventurer! In reality, I'm not. As time goes on, I realize that I'm all about quiet and simple and predictable. I like my routine and knowing what to expect from my day. But in my head, man, it's really exciting!

01-09-2011, 06:50 PM	#5
Laerkin Member How Do You Identify?: Girlie with a touch of bossy Preferred Pronoun?: She, but not hung up on the details Relationship Status: Parenting our furry family with SmoothButch Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Washington DC Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 772 Thanked 963 Times in 257 Posts Rep Power: 4366972	Adventure! The older I get, the more important it is to me to grab life by the horns and dip my toe into as many different pools as I possibly can. If I wonder what something is like, then by god I'm going to try and find out. Life is too short to sit around and wonder. I want to taste it, smell it, feel it, see it, touch it ALL. Bring on new foods, new places, new friends, new knowledge!!!! You never know when that bus is gonna hit ya and it's lights out. So I want to live as much as possible with the time I have. And, the more I experience...the more I WANT to experience. WOOHOO!!!!!

01-09-2011, 07:58 PM	#8
little_ms_sunshyne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: . Posts: 3,312 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,339 Thanked 12,241 Times in 2,541 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	This one is a hard one for me to answer: Can I be a combination????? I like stability. Stability in my career and home life. FOR SURE! BUT... When it comes to matters of the heart I can be an Adventurer Love is a many-splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love! lol YUP PAINFULLY HOPELESS ROMANTIC!!!! BUT then.....I become a thinker about it all! Perhaps my randomness also makes me an adventurer. Some nights I just get in my car and drive 2 to 3 hours to the nearest beach all alone just to sit out, smell the water, and look at the stars (not to mention listen to great music with the windows down). Can I vote SPLIT PERSONALITY??? lol

01-09-2011, 08:58 PM	#9
Nightshade Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: . Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: here Posts: 125 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 503 Thanked 236 Times in 84 Posts Rep Power: 42018	Both and neither. And like one of the posters above, I can't quite figure out what these points have to do with maturity. As for the two choices, I'm an introverted homebody who's bliss lies in creating a home and feeding, fulfilling and nurturing my loved ones. I've also been known to fly across the country to meet someone I've fallen in love with over the internet. I take huge risks that most people wouldn't even consider (none of which have to do with sharks or sherpas), but probably lead one of the most boring daily lived you will ever encounter. So I guess my answer is... um... yes?

01-10-2011, 02:00 AM	#11
Turtle Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A mixity Preferred Pronoun?: whatever Relationship Status: chillin Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: in a really really cute little place Posts: 2,144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,442 Thanked 4,529 Times in 1,220 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Great topic, Kobi Yes to both. Certainly, we love gettin cozy on the couch, the motorcycle days are over, and truth-be-told- our knees get achy when a storm is coming in..... And no, I'm not jumping out of airplanes, but in the last few years I'm trying "new" things - I got a real helicopter lesson for a birthday (LOVED IT!!!), I'm singing in a group IN PUBLIC, I've had a role in a play - those are adventures for me. "Maturity" can be a loaded word, but I've been enjoying some sweetness to aging - some of that "...and the wisdom to know the difference" thing, some being comfortable with being competent, some not getting cranked up like I used to.....tis a good thing. It's been enjoyable trying new things because I'm not so worried about how it'll turn out

01-10-2011, 02:43 AM	#12
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	At this point in my life I finaly have the stablity in my job,home and family wich gives me the ablity to do the things I wanted to do before but couldnt because of being a responsable single parrent,my mothers care taker for a long time as well as going to college to expand my life and ablity to work in a meaningfull job.Maturity is (to me) being there when u r needed,doing the right thing even when I knew I had to put things aside till later,keeping the house bills paid,food in the cubbard,the manythings that a family needs to keep going.I sometimes wanted to blink and make some one else take this responasblity for while so I could take a deep breath,have 5 minits to myself.This didnt happen so I just kept on holding the world as we knew it together as best I could.Now im takeing that deep breath,the more than 5 minits for myself..now im going thrue a late early adult hood I should have had before.Makeing new friends,learning better ways to live life,realiseing that its ok for me to just live life and enjoy the friendship and geting to know real people.one of the best things I have learned is,I dont have to battle my way thrue things and can be part of life not being on the outside looking in.