Ask a trans person!

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by Linus

Interesting. I had never heard it defined in that sense and certainly makes me think more about the term. The name of the thread came from other threads that existed elsewhere (e.g., "Ask an FTM" or "Ask a MTF"). Rather than having two threads, I thought it might be better to have one and shortened it. I can ask the admin to add "person" after trans but no guarantees on whether the thread name could be changed.

Thanks for the reply Linus. I know where you're coming from with the title. And I like that you have an open mind.

[atomiczombie]

I refer to myself as a transguy. I am not offended by it at all. "Trans" doesn't have a negative connotation for me at all.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I refer to myself as a transguy. I am not offended by it at all. "Trans" doesn't have a negative connotation for me at all.

ditto.......

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I refer to myself as a transguy. I am not offended by it at all. "Trans" doesn't have a negative connotation for me at all.

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Please call me Trans or transgendered. I don't ID or feel like a woman at all because that's not how I'm wired. I'll be taking steps in the near future to "complete" a little more how I feel and have felt since about the age of four.

There's been times I, myself rejected my transgender sexuality—even hated it— because it is such a difficult life when you live a dual existance tosave face and please people. I spent 11 years in seclusion trying to live as a girl.

Misery.

I've been put down and discounted by lesbians here in Atlanta because they reject masculinity of this degree. It isn't an easy life.

So to not refer to me as trans as in "TG" would only offend me.

You both missed my point, but ok. It's an adjective vs. verb thing. As in "Hey are you a gay?'' or "Her boyfriend's a black." Nevermind.

[Jet]

Please call me Trans or transgendered. I don't ID or feel like a woman at all because that's not how I'm wired. I'll be taking steps in the near future to "complete" a little more how I feel and have felt since about the age of four.

There's been times I, myself rejected my transgender sexuality—even hated it— because it is such a difficult life when you live a dual existance tosave face and please people. I spent 11 years in seclusion trying to live as a girl.

Misery.

I've been put down and discounted by lesbians here in Atlanta because they reject masculinity of this degree. It isn't an easy life.

So to not refer to me as trans as in "TG" would only offend me.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

First of all, what the shit is 'a trans'?

Don't call me that.

Originally Posted by Ben-Her

It's not so much offensive to me personally as it is largely offensive to transgender individuals in general.

Hi Ben-Her...

It *seems* that it was offensive to you....based on that initial post. No?

And I think it's kind of difficult to determine that it's "largely offensive to transgender individuals in general". Things like that........where it's kind of a semantics thing.......are difficult to gauge.

I know I wrinkled my nose a bit when I first saw the thread title, but I know Linus well enough to know he meant no harm and that he was trying to be inclusive of transmen *and* transwomen. I also know that trying to nail down terminology in this community that is acceptable to ALL is like trying to nail jello to the wall.

Impossible to do.

Respectfully,
Thinker

[Hudson]

Originally Posted by Thinker

Hi Ben-Her...

It *seems* that it was offensive to you....based on that initial post. No?

And I think it's kind of difficult to determine that it's "largely offensive to transgender individuals in general". Things like that........where it's kind of a semantics thing.......are difficult to gauge.

I know I wrinkled my nose a bit when I first saw the thread title, but I know Linus well enough to know he meant no harm and that he was trying to be inclusive of transmen *and* transwomen. I also know that trying to nail down terminology in this community that is acceptable to ALL is like trying to nail jello to the wall.

Impossible to do.

Respectfully,
Thinker

Right, I basically said that re: Linus.

No I wasn't offended (like I said). I meant it half-jokingly. I know a whole lotta 'transes' and we's all feel the same. I thought it was pretty common knowledge to be honest. But to each his or her own.

I prefer he or him just for the record.

[Greyson]

Hi Guys. I know most of you know this stuff about me already. But for those who do not, bare with me. In my profile I use the I.D. Transmasculine Butch. In other instances I also refer to myself as a Transman, Transguy. I agree with Thinker, "It is like trying to nail jello to the wall." I know each of us have different ideas as to what certain descriptor may or man not mean. I know I am most likely going to offend someone. It is not my intention. If I do offend you, please let me know and I will stand corrected.

Other then my above disclaimer, I also came in to say hello and good night to so many old and familiar faces.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Other then my above disclaimer, I also came in to say hello and good night to so many old and familiar faces.

Hello and good night to you, Greyson.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Hi Guys. I know most of you know this stuff about me already. But for those who do not, bare with me. In my profile I use the I.D. Transmasculine Butch. In other instances I also refer to myself as a Transman, Transguy. I agree with Thinker, "It is like trying to nail jello to the wall." I know each of us have different ideas as to what certain descriptor may or man not mean. I know I am most likely going to offend someone. It is not my intention. If I do offend you, please let me know and I will stand corrected.

Other then my above disclaimer, I also came in to say hello and good night to so many old and familiar faces.

Why is it that we must continually dance around our sexuality either because of discrimination or by way of labeling? This past summer I had plans to go on an outing 4th of July. The person who invited me came over and said that the host of the party didn't want me there because I'm transgendered. His mother and sister were going to be there and he didn't want me to do "anything embarrassing." As if I would? But is was okay for an transitioned FTM to be there with his wife? Where does it stop? You can bet I'll damn well be me and I don't care who I offend. Because it's not me who's offensive. It's the other person's unwillingness to be respect something I was born with. I would have been gracious at the outing, but I wasn't given that chance. I'm dismayed at the prejudices within the GLBT community.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Why is it that we must continually dance around our sexuality either because of discrimination or by way of labeling? This past summer I had plans to go on an outing 4th of July. The person who invited me came over and said that the host of the party didn't want me there because I'm transgendered. His mother and sister were going to be there and he didn't want me to do "anything embarrassing." As if I would? But is was okay for an transitioned FTM to be there with his wife? Where does it stop? You can bet I'll damn well be me and I don't care who I offend. Because it's not me who's offensive. It's the other person's unwillingness to be respect something I was born with. I would have been gracious at the outing, but I wasn't given that chance. I'm dismayed at the prejudices within the GLBT community.

As my namesake says: I love mankind. It's people I can't stand.

There are times when I question whether the T really belongs with the rest of the alphabet (so to speak). I suspect that many people put assumptions about people who transition (not all but some). It's ironic that the same conversation was being had by the LGBTQ community a few decades ago (K and I watched an episode of the Golden Girls where Blanche is introduced to her baby brother's new friend -- and soon-to-be-husband; she behaves exactly as the host).

To be honest, I've found that if people stopped worrying about impressions and images life would be a lot easier. In fact, most people (that I've run into, at least) either are oblivious, don't give a shit or too self-centered to really notice. Offense isn't the issue; the issue usually is "Where's the beer?", "Where's the food?" and "Can I have another beer?".

In a positive spin of life, my aunt got married this summer. I wasn't sure how her friends and how our family would take my obvious physical change (I've met many of her friends -- film and music people -- over the years). I was well received and, had I arrived earlier, I would have been the best man for my aunt and new-uncle's wedding. I was floored at this level of acceptance (granted my name is the nickname she choose and she's only 8 years older than me so it's more of a sibling-like relationship).

It sucks, Jet, that you're going through this but I suspect this will lessen over time (at least it has for me). Now either its because people don't care or because I don't give a shit about other's opinions (issues) about me. I hope that these become farther and farther apart for you.

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Why is it that we must continually dance around our sexuality either because of discrimination or by way of labeling? This past summer I had plans to go on an outing 4th of July. The person who invited me came over and said that the host of the party didn't want me there because I'm transgendered. His mother and sister were going to be there and he didn't want me to do "anything embarrassing." As if I would? But is was okay for an transitioned FTM to be there with his wife? Where does it stop? You can bet I'll damn well be me and I don't care who I offend. Because it's not me who's offensive. It's the other person's unwillingness to be respect something I was born with. I would have been gracious at the outing, but I wasn't given that chance. I'm dismayed at the prejudices within the GLBT community.

Jet, I am sorry you were treated poorly by people who are clueless and choose to live in fear of people that may not be the cookie cutter most have come to see as "normal."

All of the labels I use to be a discriptor of who I am, mean something to me. Some of the labels for me are a noun; others more of an adjective. I am not trying to dance around my sexuality nor my gender. I have lived a very much "out" life since the age of 18.

I think there is room for all of us under the umbrella of Queer, Trans, Butch, Gender Outlaw, Bent, whatever. I hope you know I am not trying to dish you. I got your back and the back of the guys in here.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Linus

As my namesake says: I love mankind. It's people I can't stand.

There are times when I question whether the T really belongs with the rest of the alphabet (so to speak). I suspect that many people put assumptions about people who transition (not all but some). It's ironic that the same conversation was being had by the LGBTQ community a few decades ago (K and I watched an episode of the Golden Girls where Blanche is introduced to her baby brother's new friend -- and soon-to-be-husband; she behaves exactly as the host).

To be honest, I've found that if people stopped worrying about impressions and images life would be a lot easier. In fact, most people (that I've run into, at least) either are oblivious, don't give a shit or too self-centered to really notice. Offense isn't the issue; the issue usually is "Where's the beer?", "Where's the food?" and "Can I have another beer?".

In a positive spin of life, my aunt got married this summer. I wasn't sure how her friends and how our family would take my obvious physical change (I've met many of her friends -- film and music people -- over the years). I was well received and, had I arrived earlier, I would have been the best man for my aunt and new-uncle's wedding. I was floored at this level of acceptance (granted my name is the nickname she choose and she's only 8 years older than me so it's more of a sibling-like relationship).

It sucks, Jet, that you're going through this but I suspect this will lessen over time (at least it has for me). Now either its because people don't care or because I don't give a shit about other's opinions (issues) about me. I hope that these become farther and farther apart for you.

Originally Posted by Greyson

Jet, I am sorry you were treated poorly by people who are clueless and choose to live in fear of people that may not be the cookie cutter most have come to see as "normal."

All of the labels I use to be a discriptor of who I am, mean something to me. Some of the labels for me are a noun; others more of an adjective. I am not trying to dance around my sexuality nor my gender. I have lived a very much "out" life since the age of 18.

I think there is room for all of us under the umbrella of Queer, Trans, Butch, Gender Outlaw, Bent, whatever. I hope you know I am not trying to dish you. I got your back and the back of the guys in here.

Great posts both of you. You know it's funny, the people that have not hurt me are straight. For some reason, they get it better than folks in our community. I came out to my aunt as a transgender a few weeks ago, and she didn't bat an eye. Changes are beginning to happen with me and T will be part of that so I'll see how this will unfold. Thanks for your responses, both of you.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I have enjoyed this thread a great deal. I am a quiet guy. I rarely get pissed off, but I cannot stand it when I get ma'amed. Remember Linus in the smoke shop? I introduced myself as Andrew. I live as a man. And still I get ma'amed. It grated on my nerves like fingernails being drug across a chalk board.

Oh well. I say live and let live. However, like Linus, I love mankind, but have issues with people (mainly the ones who are disrespectful and intentionally evil). But that is just me, and how I am. I'm a private person as well. Too many times I have tried to be open, and was hurt deeply. So, I won't be that way ever again. I have learned my lesson.

[greeneyedgrrl]

Originally Posted by Greyson

In my profile I use the I.D. Transmasculine Butch. In other instances I also refer to myself as a Transman, Transguy.

this is a new id for me... would you mind explaining what it means to you? i could guess... but no guarantees i'd be right!
thanks in advance!