Making Peace with Exes

DapperButch · 02-05-2011, 11:15 AM

I tend to not be friends with my exes. I have one or two that I may connect with from time to time, but not to really cultivate a friendship.

I hear others say that they obviously liked enough things in the person to date them, so why not be friends with them? I guess for me, I see it as being able to find other friends to meet those same needs/have similar characteristics that I enjoy.

Additionally, I think that it is important to have space and distance after a relationship ends so that both parties can heal. When I have ended with people I have also found it to be the most kind approach to be honest, as I think that the one on the receiving end of the breakup has a harder time letting go if contact continues.

I suppose after that I could reconnect, I just tend to choose not too. It can add difficulties in any new relationship you may have (in some cases), and I guess it is just not worth it to me?

In reading this over it seems kind of harsh or that I can just cut off feelings for others that I have dated. That is not true, I still have warm feelings in my heart for many of my exes. I guess I see losing the friendship as kind of a side effect of ending a relationship.

I have never had a nasty breakup, so that does not enter into my decision to not have friendships with exes.

02-05-2011, 11:15 AM	#11
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,812 Times in 5,772 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I tend to not be friends with my exes. I have one or two that I may connect with from time to time, but not to really cultivate a friendship. I hear others say that they obviously liked enough things in the person to date them, so why not be friends with them? I guess for me, I see it as being able to find other friends to meet those same needs/have similar characteristics that I enjoy. Additionally, I think that it is important to have space and distance after a relationship ends so that both parties can heal. When I have ended with people I have also found it to be the most kind approach to be honest, as I think that the one on the receiving end of the breakup has a harder time letting go if contact continues. I suppose after that I could reconnect, I just tend to choose not too. It can add difficulties in any new relationship you may have (in some cases), and I guess it is just not worth it to me? In reading this over it seems kind of harsh or that I can just cut off feelings for others that I have dated. That is not true, I still have warm feelings in my heart for many of my exes. I guess I see losing the friendship as kind of a side effect of ending a relationship. I have never had a nasty breakup, so that does not enter into my decision to not have friendships with exes. __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?