Were you adopted in a closed adoption?

[bigbutchmistie]

I was driving around doing errands this past Saturday. And the radio announcer came across and played this song, and asked that everyone pay attention to the words. I did. And within moments I related to it, and it made me cry like a baby... I thought I would post here because I know everyone here can relate to the first verse of the song:

Temporary Home
Carrie Underwood

A little boy six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad
Another school another house that will never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face

This is my temporary home
Its not where i belong
Windows and rooms
That im passing through
This is just a stop
On the way to where im going
Im not afraid because i know
This is my temporary home

Young mom on her own
She needs a little help got nowhere to go
Shes looking for a job
Looking for a way out
Cause the halfway house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find a place here in this world

This is our temporary home
Its not where we belong
Windows and rooms
That we're passing through
This is just a stop
On the way to where we're going
Im not afraid because i know
This is our temporary home

Old man hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers "dont cry for me
Ill see you all someday"
He looks up and says "i can see god's face."

This is my temporary home
Its not where i belong
Windows and rooms
That im passing through
This was just a stop
On the way to where im going
Im not afraid because i know
This was my temporary home

[Apocalipstic]

Sorry I have not been on. Travel, drama, etc.....

That song totally makes sense and affects so many people.

Have been reading about adoption a lot....will post more soon, just wanted to say hi!

[bigbutchmistie]

Hi Jen. I just wanted to drop in and say hello to everyone

[owen4u1904]

So, I tech. have 2 beautiful daughters instead of one, if you have looked at my profile you understand. I am soo happy I found this one and I like that this is in the support section. I had my first daughter when I 19, then my 2nd when I was 20. I had to give her up because of financial reasons and my family. Unfortunately, and in a good way, it is an "open" one but I do not get to see her much and it hurts. Damn, now I have to cry. lol...but, the couple who adopted her *Karly is related to my sister n law and therefore they did not want me hanging around them. So I was basically kept by my brother and sil *sister in law* to ever seeing her. Of course being in a small town I have many chances of bumping into the couple and Karly. I have never openly talked about it with my brother. But I started going to therapy for this when I was pregnant which was also tied into my trichotillomania help to. I stopped after my mom came and she said I was not being helped. I then tried again to stop the trich, but yet again it did not help. Just started back again 2 weeks ago and I have never been more ready to finally be able to let everyone know how I feel. Sorry for all of you who was adopted, but I am having my own personal breakdown on the other side of the computer right bout now...

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by rbentley1904

So, I tech. have 2 beautiful daughters instead of one, if you have looked at my profile you understand. I am soo happy I found this one and I like that this is in the support section. I had my first daughter when I 19, then my 2nd when I was 20. I had to give her up because of financial reasons and my family. Unfortunately, and in a good way, it is an "open" one but I do not get to see her much and it hurts. Damn, now I have to cry. lol...but, the couple who adopted her *Karly is related to my sister n law and therefore they did not want me hanging around them. So I was basically kept by my brother and sil *sister in law* to ever seeing her. Of course being in a small town I have many chances of bumping into the couple and Karly. I have never openly talked about it with my brother. But I started going to therapy for this when I was pregnant which was also tied into my trichotillomania help to. I stopped after my mom came and she said I was not being helped. I then tried again to stop the trich, but yet again it did not help. Just started back again 2 weeks ago and I have never been more ready to finally be able to let everyone know how I feel. Sorry for all of you who was adopted, but I am having my own personal breakdown on the other side of the computer right bout now...

So sorry you are having a hard time, I think this time of year everyting seems worse, at least it does for me.

I think its good for us to hear from Mom's who had to give up a child, maybe in talking to you, I can learn to forgive what I have been through and it sounds like it will help you to have someone to talk to.

I am so srry that you are kept from her. How old is she?

Does it help or make it worse that you get to see her? Is the new family good to her?

[owen4u1904]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So sorry you are having a hard time, I think this time of year everyting seems worse, at least it does for me.

I think its good for us to hear from Mom's who had to give up a child, maybe in talking to you, I can learn to forgive what I have been through and it sounds like it will help you to have someone to talk to.

I am so srry that you are kept from her. How old is she?

Does it help or make it worse that you get to see her? Is the new family good to her?

My girls are exactly a year apart. The one I have with me was 6 on Jan 9, then my next one, Karly, the one I do not have will be 6 on Dec. 14. So for one month I girls who are the same age. And yes the new family is very good to her. They was not able to have babies and they was trying for around 10 years. So I guess you could kinda say I was meant to have her in a way. And it helps that I get to see her and run into her. I just wish my brother and his wife would accept it. Since we are in a small community and their name is kinda "well known" they do not it like it so much.

[Apocalipstic]

Sorry I let this thread go for a while, other issues in the forefront.

My biological mother got married and had 2 boys pretty immediately after giving me away. Knowing this made it harder, made me wonder what about me was not good enough to keep if she could just go ahead and have 2 more immediately.

I know it was her parents who made her give me away, but it is hard to bear.

But then I see posts like rbentley's and see that these things are still going on. Families are still pressuring young women to give away their children instead of offering to help financially so the baby's can be kept. Still many churches and people stand against using Birth Control. Still the closed adoptions continue. Thank you rbentley for showing me that some of the mother's are devastated too.

I guess maybe I thought that by 2010 things would be better. People more loving, more giving..and guess maybe a bit better, but not good enough.

I've read the books on adoption my therapist suggested and they were helpful in that they made me see that I have turned out wayyy better than I could have. I have other issues which have been more pressing so I have not done all the exercises they suggest yet, but will keep you all posted when I do.

Love to all my fellow adoptees!