Medical Power of Attorney and Other Informational Help

julieisafemme · 03-16-2011, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by socialjustice_fsu

So sorry to hear what your partner and you have been through. Godspeed.

I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and I work for a large hospice as a specialist in end-of life conflict resolution...meaning I work with the pt., family, friends, significant others to come to some sort of problem solving in the event there is some unresolved issue (s) going on prior to the pt.'s death. I could tell you some deathbed confessions that would stop you in your tracks.

However, I urge you to look into The Five Wishes. It is a document that covers a multitude of things that many of us would never, ever think about when coping with serious diseases. IT STANDS UP IN COURT. This document was developed by the Robert Johnson Foundation and is one of the most comprehensive legal documents I have come across. Here are the 5 Wishes:

The person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't

The kind of medical treatment I want or don't want

How comfortable I want to be

How I want people to treat me

What I want my loved ones to know.

It must be notarized to be valid. This can also be 'recorded' at the local courthouse in the event you have people that may want to come out of the darkness to make your life hell.

For Everyone:

I cannot encourage everyone ENOUGH to get this kind of thing done. Have the talk. AND, don't let it 'slide' in the event you and your partner split. Do you really want to have an 'ex' making medical decisions for you when you can't?

I have many copies of this document. It must be an ORIGINAL form - meaning no copies made for someone else to fill in. It is easy. But, it makes you think, too.
If you are interested in wanting this please PM me and my hospice will cover the cost to get it to you but it will come from my home address to protect you.

Now, more than ever, time is of the essence. For all of us.

Thank you so much for posting this.

lyric · 03-21-2011, 03:10 PM

I wanted to leave a sincere thank you to everyone who posted in this thread to leave advice or words of support. There were so many useful pieces of information left here and I have learned about some things I either did not know or had forgotten. Thank you!!

As an aside, we have seen a new neurologist who seems fantastic, and we have gotten a referral to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, so things are looking up! Armed with everything that has been shared here, I feel more confident about having what we need to have in our files to make things a bit easier.

You are all fabulous!! Thanks again!

Jess · 03-21-2011, 05:03 PM

(((((LyricandToxic))))) Hey hon! I am very sorry to hear of Toxic's health issues.

Christie and I have had POA and Medical POA and Living Will for a few years now. There are several versions on line ( and I am sorry I can't recall which ones we downloaded), that are valid in VA once notarized.

VA also recognizes a holographic will ( handwritten and notarized) as being valid as long as it is the most recently documented will. Documents like this can be notarized at just about any bank. I usually get at least two witnesses ( generally a secretary or cashier on hand).

You can go to a lawyer and if you have a great many assets or folks who might create issue, it may be a good idea. There are quite the few things you can do without lawyers, however.

Do let us know if we can help with anything. We love you!

Great words of experience here. Thanks folks!

Toughy · 03-21-2011, 08:52 PM

If memory serves....Obama signed something that had to do with community and hospitals. Something about if the hospital/doctor gets medicaid/medicare monies, they cannot discriminate or they will lose their federal money.....

I'll have to search around or maybe Scarlett knows what I am talking about and whether it is applicable in your situation.

Miss Scarlett · 03-21-2011, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy

If memory serves....Obama signed something that had to do with community and hospitals. Something about if the hospital/doctor gets medicaid/medicare monies, they cannot discriminate or they will lose their federal money.....

I'll have to search around or maybe Scarlett knows what I am talking about and whether it is applicable in your situation.

Toughy, I think you might be referring to the President's directive to the Secretary of Health and Human Services with regard to designation of hospital visitors.

http://www.lambdalegal.org/news/pr/u...th-issues.html

Also, whether you have many possessions or not I urge you to consult with an attorney to ensure your documents are drawn according to the statutes of the state in which you reside.

lyric · 04-29-2011, 07:29 PM

I wanted to come back to this thread and post another very heartfelt thank you to everyone here who offered advice, information, and support, or who left me private messages. Everything has turned out to be amazingly helpful, and I had been feeling kind of helpless and lost, so everything everyone said even added a much needed boost of confidence for me. We were able to arm ourselves with all of the documentation we needed, and I was even able to qualify at work for FMLA so that I can take time off to help her on days that she needs it.

Her surgery takes place at Johns Hopkins next Thursday, and one thing they were able to speculate pretty positively on is that what we are dealing with is not benign, so that takes a huge load off. I love Hopkins and did one of my college internships there, and in addition, my dad had heart surgery there a couple of years ago, so I feel completely confident that they know what they're doing and that she will come out of it just fine. They even made a note to give her a private room so that I could stay in it with her, so I feel really good about that and have a very positive feeling overall. Thanks again for everything, everyone! The fact that so many in this community who step up and offer advice or words of encouragement to someone they have never even met is a true testament to the caliber of individuals here.

05-19-2011, 09:57 AM

I wanted to give my thanks to you all for your heart felt words to lyric and myself during my recent illness. The advice you all gave her was so helpful in assisting in the next direction we needed to take. Everything the last few months has seemed like a whirlwind actually. I am now recovering from the the removal of the tumor. I do have some vision loss but my doctors are hopeful it will come back. On a brighter note....I am pain free...and have been seizure free thus far....-knock on wood-

I can not tell you what it meant to read your words to lyric and myself. You all have truly touched me beyond words. Thank you.

I look at everyday as a new day and really...it is a blessing...The Doctors and everyone at John Hopkins treated both lyric and I with kindness and respect...they kept her informed and on top of everything regarding my heath and recovery.

Again....Thank you all...

03-21-2011, 03:10 PM	#2
lyric Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: quiet and content Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Springfield, VA Posts: 88 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 161 Thanked 303 Times in 56 Posts Rep Power: 3971634	I wanted to leave a sincere thank you to everyone who posted in this thread to leave advice or words of support. There were so many useful pieces of information left here and I have learned about some things I either did not know or had forgotten. Thank you!! As an aside, we have seen a new neurologist who seems fantastic, and we have gotten a referral to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, so things are looking up! Armed with everything that has been shared here, I feel more confident about having what we need to have in our files to make things a bit easier. You are all fabulous!! Thanks again!

03-21-2011, 05:03 PM	#3
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts Rep Power: 0	(((((LyricandToxic))))) Hey hon! I am very sorry to hear of Toxic's health issues. Christie and I have had POA and Medical POA and Living Will for a few years now. There are several versions on line ( and I am sorry I can't recall which ones we downloaded), that are valid in VA once notarized. VA also recognizes a holographic will ( handwritten and notarized) as being valid as long as it is the most recently documented will. Documents like this can be notarized at just about any bank. I usually get at least two witnesses ( generally a secretary or cashier on hand). You can go to a lawyer and if you have a great many assets or folks who might create issue, it may be a good idea. There are quite the few things you can do without lawyers, however. Do let us know if we can help with anything. We love you! Great words of experience here. Thanks folks!

03-21-2011, 08:52 PM	#4
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,654 Times in 1,523 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	If memory serves....Obama signed something that had to do with community and hospitals. Something about if the hospital/doctor gets medicaid/medicare monies, they cannot discriminate or they will lose their federal money..... I'll have to search around or maybe Scarlett knows what I am talking about and whether it is applicable in your situation.

04-29-2011, 07:29 PM	#6
lyric Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: quiet and content Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Springfield, VA Posts: 88 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 161 Thanked 303 Times in 56 Posts Rep Power: 3971634	I wanted to come back to this thread and post another very heartfelt thank you to everyone here who offered advice, information, and support, or who left me private messages. Everything has turned out to be amazingly helpful, and I had been feeling kind of helpless and lost, so everything everyone said even added a much needed boost of confidence for me. We were able to arm ourselves with all of the documentation we needed, and I was even able to qualify at work for FMLA so that I can take time off to help her on days that she needs it. Her surgery takes place at Johns Hopkins next Thursday, and one thing they were able to speculate pretty positively on is that what we are dealing with is not benign, so that takes a huge load off. I love Hopkins and did one of my college internships there, and in addition, my dad had heart surgery there a couple of years ago, so I feel completely confident that they know what they're doing and that she will come out of it just fine. They even made a note to give her a private room so that I could stay in it with her, so I feel really good about that and have a very positive feeling overall. Thanks again for everything, everyone! The fact that so many in this community who step up and offer advice or words of encouragement to someone they have never even met is a true testament to the caliber of individuals here.

05-19-2011, 09:57 AM	#7
ToXiC Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	I wanted to give my thanks to you all for your heart felt words to lyric and myself during my recent illness. The advice you all gave her was so helpful in assisting in the next direction we needed to take. Everything the last few months has seemed like a whirlwind actually. I am now recovering from the the removal of the tumor. I do have some vision loss but my doctors are hopeful it will come back. On a brighter note....I am pain free...and have been seizure free thus far....-knock on wood- I can not tell you what it meant to read your words to lyric and myself. You all have truly touched me beyond words. Thank you. I look at everyday as a new day and really...it is a blessing...The Doctors and everyone at John Hopkins treated both lyric and I with kindness and respect...they kept her informed and on top of everything regarding my heath and recovery. Again....Thank you all...