Attraction = physical, mental, emotional...

[SassyLeo]

Drew, thanks for your very thoughtful post!

I specifically like "I can't help who does it for me, and some physical types just don't no matter what."

Based on yours and others input, I have been thinking alot about the initial physical attraction to someone. In my experience, I have some kind of chemical/hormonal reaction to a specific type. As much as I want to feel like I would be open to all kinds of types, I am not convinced we are all built that way.

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Good thread. I think that physical appearance is important, and those that say it shouldn't be confuse me. I have had a friend tell me I am shallow for only preferring a certain physical type and not being open-minded about people who don't fit that type. Shallow? I can't help who does it for me, and some physical types just don't no matter what. That includes cisgendered men, which I think most of us on this site can relate to.

My type is femmes. Feminine in appearance, but also in how she carries herself in the world. Graceful, elegant, but also a strength in her femininity. Curvy, can fill out a dress beautifully, but wear pants and be just as sexy. A girl that just oozes femininity from every pore of her body, no matter what she wears or how much or little make-up is applied. I generally don't find super heavy make up to be all that flattering for a girl, for it hides her beauty. Hair in a feminine style, long enough to thread my fingers through. Full lips. Things like that turn me on.

That said, a girl who looks like that can open her mouth and totally ruin it for me. I have had it happen and it is a bit jarring, but it is a lot more than looks that draws me in. A girl who is mature and intelligent and strong in herself, who is gentle and kind and genuinely cares about others and not just in words but deeds as well, who respects herself as well as others, THAT turns me on tremendously. I don't generally find it attractive when a girl puts herself down all the time or goes around putting others down. That really disturbs me. A powerful intellect makes me crazy in a good way. I want someone I can talk to and share ideas with. Even if we disagree, we can learn from each other and respect each other's point of view. I don't expect to be with someone who is perfect in these ways all the time. Everyone is human and so am I. She doesn't have to have it all together all the time. I sure don't. But someone who takes care of herself and refuses to be a door mat gets my respect and admiration.

So yeah, its a lot more than physical. But physical matters, it really does. Nothing wrong with that, it just is what it is. I don't think you are shallow at all, Miss Sassy. Your attraction to masculinity in women is just part of who you are, and that, just like every other part of who you are, should be respected by others.