Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Delish

So I have been away from the site for a few months now. My ex was dx with this in Sept. 1 week later was starting chemo and the 1st day of chemo she found out it had already spread...3 spots in her L5 1 in her hip and 1 in her femur. She in the beginning pushed me away then she wanted me there to take care of her and our house and animals we have together. I am the 1 she screams at...fusses with etc. I feel like I am CONSTANTLY on an emotional rollercoaster to the point of starting therapy next week

Make sure you take care of yourself. Just because she has cancer does not mean that she can take out her frustrations on you. She is still responsible for how she is with others.

Yes, it is understandable that her fear and anxiety may result in irritability, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't acknowledge it or keep it in check.

As a side note, I know that the steroids in my chemo treatment (5FU) causes some BIG TIME irritability in me. My point is, her irritability is not just about having a serious illness, it is also chemically induced. I worked almost full time (72 hours every two weeks). I had been only taking a half day on chemo infusion days, but after noting I was irritable with coworkers, I decided I needed to take the whole day off.

In general, I was kind of whacky. In fact, I screwed up and wrote something in a work email that I shouldn't have during that time (and never would have if I was in my "right mind"). There were some repercussions due to it.

My point is, understand her emotional state, but don't excuse her behavior. Therapy may be helpful to her. Some cancer centers have therapists trained in working with people who have cancer. Also, there may be some free support group there, as well. At minimum, it may help her to get on some support groups/forums online to talk with others who have the same illness.

I know that you and my partner have been PMming, but if you want to talk to someone who went through cancer treatment, please don't hesitate to PM me, as well. I would also be happy talk with your ex via email if she is not on this site. It is a very tough road to travel. For both of you.

Take care of yourself.