Couples together 5 or 10 or 20+ yrs or better

[FR]

Originally Posted by Scorp

Froogle, with a crotchety attitude like that, no wonder why your relationship is "dead" as you have noted in your "relationship status"!

-scorp u know i kid-congrats to u 2-i just cant believe its been 9 years! i missed something.. oh wait i'm dead i forget
---love FR(confirmed butchlor)

[Tawse]

this thread has been dead for a bit but here I am anyway lol

There has been a lot of good thoughts and tips given thus far and I don't really have too much to add - just maybe in a different phrasing.

Find someone who compliments your neuroses / issues. LOL for example, Gillian is an absolute control freak - so look at me, I don't want much control at all. We go well.

I am (not as much now due to meds, yay!) very stubborn and aggressive minded when it comes to pushing my point of view. She is very calm cool and collected, and speaks to me in my language so I can get it.

I have issues sometimes with my moods (BiPolar) and she can let me know in a way that doesn't strike me as patronizing or threatening - that maybe I need to talk to the shrink about my meds - or maybe what I'm feeling as a "hard cold truth" is more in the chemicals in my brain. I trust her unconditionally. Even if we argue there is no doubt that she would never do me intentional harm.

She has some issues with low level hoarding - I keep that in check by asking her politely if she really needs said item. She also has a box that she puts her "I'm going to scrapbook this" items into - only one box. Also - if I get her ok, I will "get rid of" stuff she has a problem with getting rid of - when she goes to work.

You just have to find that right person who keeps your insanity in check - and doesn't make you feel less of a person when they acknowledge you're a bit insane...

also...

Gillian read an article once that suggested that the thing you were attracted to the most in your partner - would eventually become the thing that annoyed you the most in later years.

It's a fun point to ponder and holds some truth (though not entirely) in ours.

[Estella]

Originally Posted by Tawse

Gillian read an article once that suggested that the thing you were attracted to the most in your partner - would eventually become the thing that annoyed you the most in later years.

That's a scary thought.

My wife and I have been together now for eleven years; we were legally married on our 7th anniversary, so we didn't bother starting the count over. Our thought was that if we could have been married sooner, we would have been.

But people who are just meeting us are stunned that we've been together for more than ten years. Superficially, we are nothing alike at all. The little woman is butch to the point of routinely being "sir-ed" pretty much everywhere. I take it for granted at this point that she'll need me to run interference in any public ladies room. She is a union carpenter with a high school education who doesn't read books and gets offended if the waiter places the napkin on her lap for her. I am a power-suit Femme working in a Five-Star hotel with a Masters Degree and a weak spot for luxury and intuitive service. So what gives.

If I had to try to identify what has kept us together for so long, I'd have to say that we just really really like each other. We laugh - a lot. Mostly at one another, but neither of us take ourselves too seriously. We share a sense of humor, a similar value system, and a complementary world view. We both see the good before the bad; our glasses are always half-full. We both love animals, action movies, and sushi. And yes, she's learning to appreciate life's little luxuries - and I'm always up for a snog in the truck.

[Tawse]

Originally Posted by Fenchurch

That's a scary thought.

My wife and I have been together now for eleven years; we were legally married on our 7th anniversary, so we didn't bother starting the count over. Our thought was that if we could have been married sooner, we would have been.

But people who are just meeting us are stunned that we've been together for more than ten years. Superficially, we are nothing alike at all. The little woman is butch to the point of routinely being "sir-ed" pretty much everywhere. I take it for granted at this point that she'll need me to run interference in any public ladies room. She is a union carpenter with a high school education who doesn't read books and gets offended if the waiter places the napkin on her lap for her. I am a power-suit Femme working in a Five-Star hotel with a Masters Degree and a weak spot for luxury and intuitive service. So what gives.

If I had to try to identify what has kept us together for so long, I'd have to say that we just really really like each other. We laugh - a lot. Mostly at one another, but neither of us take ourselves too seriously. We share a sense of humor, a similar value system, and a complementary world view. We both see the good before the bad; our glasses are always half-full. We both love animals, action movies, and sushi. And yes, she's learning to appreciate life's little luxuries - and I'm always up for a snog in the truck.

Yeah we have been together 14 - married for 4 and yeah I'm not starting over - for pretty much the same reasons.

completely agree with everything you say... except the half full thing.. I have a cup called the "pessimists cup" that has a line drawn half way down - and well I'm sure you get the rest.

You can't take away my pessimistic world view! lol


That being said - I think the answer to longevity and probably even world peace is "Sushi".

[Estella]

Originally Posted by Tawse

That being said - I think the answer to longevity and probably even world peace is "Sushi".

Truer words were never said.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Tawse

this thread has been dead for a bit but here I am anyway lol

There has been a lot of good thoughts and tips given thus far and I don't really have too much to add - just maybe in a different phrasing.

Find someone who compliments your neuroses / issues. LOL for example, Gillian is an absolute control freak - so look at me, I don't want much control at all. We go well.

I am (not as much now due to meds, yay!) very stubborn and aggressive minded when it comes to pushing my point of view. She is very calm cool and collected, and speaks to me in my language so I can get it.

I have issues sometimes with my moods (BiPolar) and she can let me know in a way that doesn't strike me as patronizing or threatening - that maybe I need to talk to the shrink about my meds - or maybe what I'm feeling as a "hard cold truth" is more in the chemicals in my brain. I trust her unconditionally. Even if we argue there is no doubt that she would never do me intentional harm.

She has some issues with low level hoarding - I keep that in check by asking her politely if she really needs said item. She also has a box that she puts her "I'm going to scrapbook this" items into - only one box. Also - if I get her ok, I will "get rid of" stuff she has a problem with getting rid of - when she goes to work.

You just have to find that right person who keeps your insanity in check - and doesn't make you feel less of a person when they acknowledge you're a bit insane...

also...

Gillian read an article once that suggested that the thing you were attracted to the most in your partner - would eventually become the thing that annoyed you the most in later years.

It's a fun point to ponder and holds some truth (though not entirely) in ours.

Gillian and I might be related.