Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

[Galahad]

"Pleasant, consistant, mutually satisfying, supportive companionship." That was my list.

[bigbutchmistie]

At 35 in a couple of weeks I've never been in a long Iterm relationship lasting years. I think its partly due for the most part about my having social anxiety and not getting out and meeting people. But in any event I've noticed over the years my list has changed. It's gone from she must look like this and make z amount of money to will she make me laugh would I feel safe around her can I trust her without reservation. If I lost everything would she still love me and be my.cheerleader. I guess the older I get the.less picky I am. Now I don't expect someone to be anything than I'm not.

There is a huge difference in my list that I looked for in my 20's than what I seek in my mid thirties. But for me I have a basic list now and those are things for me that are not negotiab. So for me settling is not an option.

Yes I get lonely and sometimes ache so bad inside to be with someone. But the RIGHT person for me will only do. Settling is never right for both parties involved. Just my .02

I

[Julie]

This is a no-brainer for me.
I am fickle and a flake.
A list is only as good as the paper it is one... and all paper is disposable.
Serious...
Who honestly makes a list?
Do people really make lists?

My one point on my list would say...
Must be flexible to my whims and my mind changes.
Believe ME when I tell you these little things.

Simple.
My list would say - Must be someone who believes my words as gospel.

Maybe I need a real list - or perhaps, I could help people write their lists.

Thanks Kobi - now I need to think about this (all night long).

[sweetfemme247]

As I get older I have realized that I cant change anyone, and that I should not try to. I have made some mistakes in my past when it comes to dating, at the time I knew what I wanted and then things changed, things in my life happen and my needs had shifted to something else. Right now If I could have the perfect person they would be, supportive in everything I do, always stand up for me even if I am wrong and then of course tell me I was wrong when we are alone so I dont feel like a idiot. Accept the fact that I am not into parties, drinking, smoking or any of that sort of crowd. Respect and communication is my number 1 thing that I must have.