"straight" women and Butches.

Corkey · 05-08-2011, 08:29 PM

Lets put a couple of misconceptions to rest shall we..
Male does not nor has never as far as I know been about being Butch. Butch is a 3d gender, except when it isn't. Not ALL Butches LOOK masculine, nor do ALL Femmes LOOK feminine, except when they do and if they want to.

You have some kind of messed up generalizations going on here from your posts that perhaps you should do some reading on this site to get some since of where these thoughts are coming from.

Again welcome to The Planet, and I hope you will explore not just the things that make us different, but those that make us a community.

Heart · 05-08-2011, 08:47 PM

Whenever I see a thread about "straight women and butches" -- it makes me twitch. (Haven't read the posts - so nothing personal.)

Mr.Nobody · 05-08-2011, 08:56 PM

I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).

blush · 05-08-2011, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Nobody

I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).

Ah yes. And does that straight girl see you for who you are? Will she walk down the street with you when it's not comfortable. Will she take off her heels and beat the living shit out of anyone that messes with ya'll? Will she walk through your life with you?

This thread feels like a shit-stirring thread. Haven't we done this one before?

Martina · 05-08-2011, 10:09 PM

If the butch thinks it's cool cause s/he's converting or taking women away from men, it's squicky. Otherwise, who cares? If people find each other, i am all for it.

A lot of femmes -- and butches -- were once straight.

i guess it is weird to say one has only dated straight women. Maybe the butch lives in the middle of no where or somethin. Who knows.

blush · 05-08-2011, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

If the butch thinks it's cool cause s/he's converting or taking women away from men, it's squicky. Otherwise, who cares? If people find each other, i am all for it.

A lot of femmes -- and butches -- were once straight.

i guess it is weird to say one has only dated straight women. Maybe the butch lives in the middle of no where or somethin. Who knows.

I came out late. A lot of people come out late. I wouldn't say I was ever straight. And it is a very confusing time.

Perhaps I missed the intent of the thread? Are we talking about dating self-identifying straight women and why they are attracted to butches? Or are we talking about dating people who are questioning?

Martina · 05-08-2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

I came out late. A lot of people come out late. I wouldn't say I was ever straight. And it is a very confusing time.

Perhaps I missed the intent of the thread? Are we talking about dating self-identifying straight women and why they are attracted to butches? Or are we talking about dating people who are questioning?

i was probably always a dyke too, but i had no idea for a while. My first naughty dream was about a woman, but i ignored a lot of clues. If anyone had asked me if i was straight back in the day, i would have said yes. i would not have ID'd as questioning.

Basically it's not clear to me why this butch is asking the question. It almost seems as if s/he's bragging. Dating a straight woman is not a bad thing in itself though. And no one has a right to tell a straight person s/he is not straight even if they fuck same sex now and again. It's the same with dykes.

i personally would date a straight woman if she floated my boat although that wasn't always true. Straight people are less narrow than they used to be, seems like. i certainly date and/or serve bisexual women.

i don't know. It does seem like a pointless thread just asking us to make some of the usual comments.

AtLast · 05-08-2011, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Nobody

I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).

I agree with this. And I agree with what blush brings up about the fact that many of us (femmes & butches) went through questioning in our lives.

Gayla · 05-08-2011, 11:03 PM

Off the top of my head, I don't recall the topic being discussed on this site before and even if it has, the OP is a new member and might not be aware that the conversation has taken place before in our community.

I have known many butches who date straight women, including a few who will only date women who ID as straight. I have dated, and had LTRs with, straight women. I can't speak for them, but in my experience the draw was probably a combination of several different things including the taboo factor and the "best of both worlds" factor.

On my end, it was never about intentionally seeking out straight women, it was just something that happened in the same way that I have met, dated and have had relationships with any other person.

Merlin · 05-09-2011, 12:50 AM

Oh dear,

It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive.

This is a discussion board is it not?

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve ..

My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect.

Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc.

And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women.

I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle.

Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish.

Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey.

Merlin · 05-09-2011, 12:53 AM

Oh and for the record ..

I don't know any Americans, I have never been to America .. I thought this might be a good place to break the ice.

Maybe I shouldn't paddle into fast waters without a canoe or paddle.

EnderD_503 · 05-09-2011, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin

Oh dear,

It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive.

This is a discussion board is it not?

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve ..

My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect.

Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc.

And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women.

I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle.

Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish.

Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey.

I don't think this has anything to do with British prespectives vs. American ones. I haven't been here as long as some and even I've noticed that every once in a while a new member will come in and ask about straight women and butches. Seemed to happen every so often on the bf site too. Usually in those topics a lot of heteronormative stereotypes are thrown around that are usually more a result of people's exposure/inexposure to certain gender issues that really have nothing to do with nationality, since there have been Americans that have come in and talked about it too.

I don't see it as a specific fascination. People like who they like, and I don't think we can generalise about butches and straight women any more than any other queer group and straight people.

Chazz · 05-09-2011, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin

Oh dear,

It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive.

This is a discussion board is it not?

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve ..

My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect.

Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc.

And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women.

I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle.

Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish.

Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey.

Hiya, Merlin

Nice to meet you. I'm an Irish expatriate. There are cultural differences, indeed.

Whatever you do, don't start talking about willets, thews or lallies. Someone's bound to call a sharpy.

I've never slept with a straight women. If they slept with me, they ain't.

Sláinte, Chazz

05-08-2011, 08:29 PM	#1
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Lets put a couple of misconceptions to rest shall we.. Male does not nor has never as far as I know been about being Butch. Butch is a 3d gender, except when it isn't. Not ALL Butches LOOK masculine, nor do ALL Femmes LOOK feminine, except when they do and if they want to. You have some kind of messed up generalizations going on here from your posts that perhaps you should do some reading on this site to get some since of where these thoughts are coming from. Again welcome to The Planet, and I hope you will explore not just the things that make us different, but those that make us a community. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) Last edited by Corkey; 05-08-2011 at 08:32 PM.

05-08-2011, 08:56 PM	#3
Mr.Nobody Member How Do You Identify?: Niizh manidoowag... Preferred Pronoun?: I prefer amature nouns Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 840 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 370 Thanked 1,528 Times in 536 Posts Rep Power: 15623423	I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out). __________________ Noblesse oblige...

05-09-2011, 12:50 AM	#10
Merlin Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Knight in shining armour. Relationship Status: Spoken for Join Date: May 2011 Location: England Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 87 Thanked 547 Times in 170 Posts Rep Power: 6763778	Oh dear, It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive. This is a discussion board is it not? Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve .. My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect. Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc. And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women. I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle. Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish. Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey. __________________ https://youtu.be/IWvEXChflEE

05-09-2011, 12:53 AM	#11
Merlin Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Knight in shining armour. Relationship Status: Spoken for Join Date: May 2011 Location: England Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 87 Thanked 547 Times in 170 Posts Rep Power: 6763778	Oh and for the record .. I don't know any Americans, I have never been to America .. I thought this might be a good place to break the ice. Maybe I shouldn't paddle into fast waters without a canoe or paddle. __________________ https://youtu.be/IWvEXChflEE

05-08-2011, 08:47 PM	#2
Heart Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: rainbows! Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: NY Posts: 466 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 303 Thanked 2,522 Times in 409 Posts Rep Power: 12032610	Whenever I see a thread about "straight women and butches" -- it makes me twitch. (Haven't read the posts - so nothing personal.)

05-08-2011, 10:09 PM	#5
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,285 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	If the butch thinks it's cool cause s/he's converting or taking women away from men, it's squicky. Otherwise, who cares? If people find each other, i am all for it. A lot of femmes -- and butches -- were once straight. i guess it is weird to say one has only dated straight women. Maybe the butch lives in the middle of no where or somethin. Who knows.

05-08-2011, 11:03 PM	#9
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	Off the top of my head, I don't recall the topic being discussed on this site before and even if it has, the OP is a new member and might not be aware that the conversation has taken place before in our community. I have known many butches who date straight women, including a few who will only date women who ID as straight. I have dated, and had LTRs with, straight women. I can't speak for them, but in my experience the draw was probably a combination of several different things including the taboo factor and the "best of both worlds" factor. On my end, it was never about intentionally seeking out straight women, it was just something that happened in the same way that I have met, dated and have had relationships with any other person.