"straight" women and Butches.

Daywalker · 05-09-2011, 02:19 PM

It's a Fascination ~ It's an Infatuation

Women who identify as straight are not immune to attractions of all sorts.

Being attracted to someone does not mean ya wanna 'shag' em.

Appreciating the aesthetics of another Human Being; I just don't that because
I'm a biggo Queer ass, slow shuffling, Gender Neutral Butch ~ frosted
with Hippy and Sprinkled with cannabis n bubbles...that my instincts
automatically hone in only on the attractive
features of non-straight folks.

There are some purty Mens out there, I'm secure enough to let em know
that *insert evil 'hood of mah truck' twinkle in the eyes*. Don't mean I wanna
fuck em, unless they have been bad and bend over the Impala hood.

heehee.

Straight women can be attracted to a Butch,
without equating them to the category of straight Male.

Also...doesn't mean they wanna 'shag or be shagged'.

Hell I forgot where I was going with all this.

Apocalipstic · 05-09-2011, 02:20 PM

True!

I am a Lesbian, but I do think some men are attractive.

Quintease · 05-09-2011, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

True!

I am a Lesbian, but I do think some men are attractive.

Me too, particularly when I'm ovulating (tick, tock and all that..) They have to be very pretty to catch my eye however.

Merlin · 05-09-2011, 03:04 PM

Never had any sort of clock counting down internally.

sorry if anyone has been offended ..

I am a stubborn ass Aries .. Gob goes into gear and brain still asleep.

DomnNC · 05-09-2011, 03:27 PM

I truly find the dilemna over what one looks like to another quite humorous at times. Who the heck cares what you look like to anyone else, straight, queer, bi, trans, etcetcetc? Who cares? What ever happened in being secure enough in yourself to know what/who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks? I personally don't give a heck what anyone comes to decide who/what I am by the way I look, I KNOW what I am, their opinion matters not, it doesn't concern me, they have nothing to do with my life. If they do have something to do with my life then they either accept me for who I am and who I say I am or they move the heck on, life is too short to worry over such trivial matters.

It's funny, my wife id'd as a soft butch before we got together, then we got together, then she realized that was not who she thought she was and she id'd as femme and changed her whole appearance (and not at my hedging either), then after we were together 6 months or so she came to me and told me she no longer id'd as a lesbian but as a "straight" woman in relation to who I am. That was her evolution, her chosen evolution. I loved her no matter how she id'd. We couldn't have cared less how anyone else saw us and pre-determined how we id'd. It simply isn't that important if you are secure in who you are and how you id, straight, queer, bi, trans, what have you. Just being the best you that you can be is the best revenge on society as a whole. Society doesn't define me, I do. So therefore I have no issue talking about straight, queer, trans, lesbian, etcetcetc.

But I know how you feel Merlin, lol, the lesbian scene around here totally ignore, reject me and I'm fine with that. When they come with their hand out I just laugh and go on.

Quintease · 05-09-2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomnNC

I truly find the dilemna over what one looks like to another quite humorous at times. Who the heck cares what you look like to anyone else, straight, queer, bi, trans, etcetcetc? Who cares? What ever happened in being secure enough in yourself to know what/who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks?

It's called invisibility, and actually we wouldn't care, except it sucks.

BullDog · 05-09-2011, 03:43 PM

It isn't discussing straight people that's a sore point, it's being constantly measured against them that is. Femmes do not want to be compared with straight women, many butches do not want to be compared with straight males. Femmes are frequently not taken seriously as lesbians and/or queers. There is a big invisibility factor at play and also there have been many discussions over the years where some butches seem to think straight women are the ultimate prize- which leads to a lot of sore feelings, particularly when you combine that with the invisibility issues.

Also, if you really want to know why straight people feel certain ways, I do think you need to ask them.

Welcome to the site Merlin, you seem like a nice person. We need to listen to you and understand you better and hopefully you will see some of the other points being raised here as well.

Apocalipstic · 05-09-2011, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

Me too, particularly when I'm ovulating (tick, tock and all that..) They have to be very pretty to catch my eye however.

Very very very very very!

Tuff Stuff · 10-02-2017, 10:12 PM

Someone posted that straight women can be fun, but I would like to add that they can also be dangerous.The problem for me was that they were married..some with husbands and small children.I never once assumed that she loved me enough to run off and leave behind her family.I knew they were straight because they'd be the first one to break it off.I still had fun,i'm pretty sure they did.

I myself am not bi-sexual,but I am super curious about some people that I meet in my life and sometimes this leads (for me anyways) wanting more than friendship..no strings attached..and afterwards we can both remain being friends or, part and go on our merry way.

Kosmo · 01-11-2018, 10:08 PM

I find women attractive by the energy they give off, like my girlfriend. That gay, queer, femme, or 'other' energy that doesn't belong, ya know? So, for me, straight women do not possess this energy. I've never dated a non-homosexual woman. Have dated a closeted woman (did not last long).

I have cordial relationships with straight women; like friends and coworkers.

butchgeek · 01-31-2018, 07:57 PM

I am naive maybe. How would I tell the difference between someone who is straight and perhaps experimenting, versus someone who is coming to terms with their identity later in life? I suppose time will tell. I haven’t been anyone’s first since high school, but I’ve fallen for someone...

homoe · 01-31-2018, 08:07 PM

I had as similar experience as above!

When I worked at the video store I had a customer who seemed 'very friendly" , gave me a $25 gift certificate with a box of Fango mints for Christmas, and once sent me flowers for Easter. She always ended up in my check out line whenever she came to the store and would often ask me for movie recommendations. I was totally gaga for her but still I never perused things.

I was pretty sure she was involved with one of the assistant coaches for an NBA team so that always made me leary but it baffled me as well!

It remains a mystery to this day! If I had to guess, I would have to say she might of been exploring options later in life!

BullDog · 01-31-2018, 08:11 PM

I would think getting to know someone and talking to them would make that clear, as well as whether the two of you were compatible and interested in each other in general. If not perhaps you will need to ask questions if it's something that is important to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by butchgeek

I am naive maybe. How would I tell the difference between someone who is straight and perhaps experimenting, versus someone who is coming to terms with their identity later in life? I suppose time will tell. I haven’t been anyone’s first since high school, but I’ve fallen for someone...

imperfect_cupcake · 02-01-2018, 02:46 AM

^ yeah, you won't be able to tell from surface chit chat. You have to bother to get to know them. And sometimes I've seen butch friends read what they want to hear into their answers. Or sometimes out of insecurity and fear not hear the clear statements.

But that happens with regular already out of the closet people trying to have a conversation *shrug.*
I don't know how many times I've had this conversation:

"I like you'
"I don't think I'm butch enough for you!"
"I think you are hot"
"I mean I don't think I'm quite butch enough... I don't wear lipstick or anything but like I don't drive a truck and I blah blah blah blah"
"I think you are very sexy"
"but what do you consider butch."
*pulls my own eyes out and chokes them with them with the chords*

I stopped doing that. I have now started saying

"I like you"
"yeah but am I butch enough?"
"If by that you mean 'is my cock big enough' the answer is 'NEVER' HAHAHAHA. But you know this already. any other questions?"

that usually stops it.

Just try.

JDeere · 02-07-2018, 08:27 PM

I wonder if we took " straight"' out of its quotes and see what happens.

spaghetti is straight, till you boil it.

Gretchen 1965 · 06-30-2018, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

^ yeah, you won't be able to tell from surface chit chat. You have to bother to get to know them. And sometimes I've seen butch friends read what they want to hear into their answers. Or sometimes out of insecurity and fear not hear the clear statements.

But that happens with regular already out of the closet people trying to have a conversation *shrug.*
I don't know how many times I've had this conversation:

"I like you'
"I don't think I'm butch enough for you!"
"I think you are hot"
"I mean I don't think I'm quite butch enough... I don't wear lipstick or anything but like I don't drive a truck and I blah blah blah blah"
"I think you are very sexy"
"but what do you consider butch."
*pulls my own eyes out and chokes them with them with the chords*

I stopped doing that. I have now started saying

"I like you"
"yeah but am I butch enough?"
"If by that you mean 'is my cock big enough' the answer is 'NEVER' HAHAHAHA. But you know this already. any other questions?"

that usually stops it.

Just try.

I am 53year old skinny short 5ft3 tall wrinkled face thin lips green eyes grayhaired soft butch single woman. People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since I was 14 people always call me names. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture. One of the things I've noticed over the years is that I'm always attracted to heterosexual tall curvy ultrafeminine women that I know are unavailable.

It's been a pattern since I was a teenager. There was this girl I was in lust (thought it was love then) with all through high school and I basically idolized her. The problem was I barely even spoke to her because I was so nervous around her. As a result I never really tried to date anybody else because I thought she was the one I was supposed to be with. Since i was a teenager I am more sexually attracted to heterosexual well endowed ultrafeminine tall curvy attractive women. They turn me on. All the women I gotten far with were not my physical type. I just did what a lot of other dykes seem to do and adjust to what the market has to offer. Moreover, in the past I have scared women away for acting weird (nothing major or too weird) but enough where they weren’t interested in me. I am just not good at talking to women; I get tongue tied and am not confident. What do you think? have you ever felt the same way? Am I creepy? (yeah I guess so)I am basically looking if someone could help me to cope with this situation… I just don’t know what to do.

Please try not to judge me too much as this forum is supposed to be accepting and non-judgemental.I don’t know what it is, but ever since around high school heterosexual attractive tall curvy feminine females have been very uncomfortable around me.Does anyone relate to this or understand why straight women would get scared or creeped out or repulsed by someone so fast if they’re not really a rapist? Can it really be facial features alone (really ugly wrinkled face)? What kind of outward behaviour will make them creeped out or repulsed?I am short and skinny.it’s not like I randomly walk up to them and start touching their breasts or something. I at least know that that would be totally inappropriate. I am tiny short skinny 53year old masculine woman.I am not tough and strong. I am not intimidating.I am physically completely harmless.

05-09-2011, 02:19 PM	#1
Daywalker Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Hippy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 3,750 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,499 Thanked 11,916 Times in 2,700 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	It's a Fascination ~ It's an Infatuation Women who identify as straight are not immune to attractions of all sorts. Being attracted to someone does not mean ya wanna 'shag' em. Appreciating the aesthetics of another Human Being; I just don't that because I'm a biggo Queer ass, slow shuffling, Gender Neutral Butch ~ frosted with Hippy and Sprinkled with cannabis n bubbles...that my instincts automatically hone in only on the attractive features of non-straight folks. There are some purty Mens out there, I'm secure enough to let em know that insert evil 'hood of mah truck' twinkle in the eyes. Don't mean I wanna fuck em, unless they have been bad and bend over the Impala hood. heehee. Straight women can be attracted to a Butch, without equating them to the category of straight Male. Also...doesn't mean they wanna 'shag or be shagged'. Hell I forgot where I was going with all this. __________________ www.SirDaywalker.com

05-09-2011, 02:20 PM	#2
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	True! I am a Lesbian, but I do think some men are attractive. __________________

05-09-2011, 03:04 PM	#4
Merlin Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Knight in shining armour. Relationship Status: Spoken for Join Date: May 2011 Location: England Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 87 Thanked 547 Times in 170 Posts Rep Power: 6763778	Never had any sort of clock counting down internally. sorry if anyone has been offended .. I am a stubborn ass Aries .. Gob goes into gear and brain still asleep. __________________ https://youtu.be/IWvEXChflEE

05-09-2011, 03:43 PM	#7
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	It isn't discussing straight people that's a sore point, it's being constantly measured against them that is. Femmes do not want to be compared with straight women, many butches do not want to be compared with straight males. Femmes are frequently not taken seriously as lesbians and/or queers. There is a big invisibility factor at play and also there have been many discussions over the years where some butches seem to think straight women are the ultimate prize- which leads to a lot of sore feelings, particularly when you combine that with the invisibility issues. Also, if you really want to know why straight people feel certain ways, I do think you need to ask them. Welcome to the site Merlin, you seem like a nice person. We need to listen to you and understand you better and hopefully you will see some of the other points being raised here as well. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

01-11-2018, 10:08 PM	#10
Kosmo Member How Do You Identify?: just me Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: This seat is taken Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Buckeye Posts: 210 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 180 Thanked 274 Times in 119 Posts Rep Power: 227089	I find women attractive by the energy they give off, like my girlfriend. That gay, queer, femme, or 'other' energy that doesn't belong, ya know? So, for me, straight women do not possess this energy. I've never dated a non-homosexual woman. Have dated a closeted woman (did not last long). I have cordial relationships with straight women; like friends and coworkers. __________________ Kosmo (fka ZRider)

05-09-2011, 03:27 PM	#5
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	I truly find the dilemna over what one looks like to another quite humorous at times. Who the heck cares what you look like to anyone else, straight, queer, bi, trans, etcetcetc? Who cares? What ever happened in being secure enough in yourself to know what/who you are and to hell with what anyone else thinks? I personally don't give a heck what anyone comes to decide who/what I am by the way I look, I KNOW what I am, their opinion matters not, it doesn't concern me, they have nothing to do with my life. If they do have something to do with my life then they either accept me for who I am and who I say I am or they move the heck on, life is too short to worry over such trivial matters. It's funny, my wife id'd as a soft butch before we got together, then we got together, then she realized that was not who she thought she was and she id'd as femme and changed her whole appearance (and not at my hedging either), then after we were together 6 months or so she came to me and told me she no longer id'd as a lesbian but as a "straight" woman in relation to who I am. That was her evolution, her chosen evolution. I loved her no matter how she id'd. We couldn't have cared less how anyone else saw us and pre-determined how we id'd. It simply isn't that important if you are secure in who you are and how you id, straight, queer, bi, trans, what have you. Just being the best you that you can be is the best revenge on society as a whole. Society doesn't define me, I do. So therefore I have no issue talking about straight, queer, trans, lesbian, etcetcetc. But I know how you feel Merlin, lol, the lesbian scene around here totally ignore, reject me and I'm fine with that. When they come with their hand out I just laugh and go on.

10-02-2017, 10:12 PM	#9
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	Someone posted that straight women can be fun, but I would like to add that they can also be dangerous.The problem for me was that they were married..some with husbands and small children.I never once assumed that she loved me enough to run off and leave behind her family.I knew they were straight because they'd be the first one to break it off.I still had fun,i'm pretty sure they did. I myself am not bi-sexual,but I am super curious about some people that I meet in my life and sometimes this leads (for me anyways) wanting more than friendship..no strings attached..and afterwards we can both remain being friends or, part and go on our merry way.

01-31-2018, 07:57 PM	#11
butchgeek Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: ISO geeky femme who can run this INTJ a bit Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: United States Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7 Thanked 53 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 644254	I am naive maybe. How would I tell the difference between someone who is straight and perhaps experimenting, versus someone who is coming to terms with their identity later in life? I suppose time will tell. I haven’t been anyone’s first since high school, but I’ve fallen for someone...

01-31-2018, 08:07 PM	#12
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,548 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	I had as similar experience as above! When I worked at the video store I had a customer who seemed 'very friendly" , gave me a $25 gift certificate with a box of Fango mints for Christmas, and once sent me flowers for Easter. She always ended up in my check out line whenever she came to the store and would often ask me for movie recommendations. I was totally gaga for her but still I never perused things. I was pretty sure she was involved with one of the assistant coaches for an NBA team so that always made me leary but it baffled me as well! It remains a mystery to this day! If I had to guess, I would have to say she might of been exploring options later in life!

02-01-2018, 02:46 AM	#14
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	^ yeah, you won't be able to tell from surface chit chat. You have to bother to get to know them. And sometimes I've seen butch friends read what they want to hear into their answers. Or sometimes out of insecurity and fear not hear the clear statements. But that happens with regular already out of the closet people trying to have a conversation shrug. I don't know how many times I've had this conversation: "I like you' "I don't think I'm butch enough for you!" "I think you are hot" "I mean I don't think I'm quite butch enough... I don't wear lipstick or anything but like I don't drive a truck and I blah blah blah blah" "I think you are very sexy" "but what do you consider butch." pulls my own eyes out and chokes them with them with the chords I stopped doing that. I have now started saying "I like you" "yeah but am I butch enough?" "If by that you mean 'is my cock big enough' the answer is 'NEVER' HAHAHAHA. But you know this already. any other questions?" that usually stops it. Just try.

02-07-2018, 08:27 PM	#15
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I wonder if we took " straight"' out of its quotes and see what happens. spaghetti is straight, till you boil it.