Single FTM's & Femme's

[T D]

Watched the documentary about Chaz earlier and I keep hearing those words "who will love me? Who's going to love a man without a penis?" I think this is something that a lot of transmen ask themselves. It's certainly a legitimate question too. I was especially relieved to hear Chaz say that being a man isn't about what's between your legs, which I also believe. It's about the person as a whole being, who they are, how they treat others, the whole shebang.

Yet another topic that Chaz brought up was about not getting to be a young man. I can so relate to that, hell I didn't even get to be a middle aged man. One of the things that was very difficult for me when deciding whether or not to proceed with my transition was whether or not it would make it more difficult for me to date or find a partner, and especially at my age. I have pretty much resolved to spend the rest of my life as a single person if it comes to that, but honestly, it's a sad thing when you think about it.... that one even has to consider whether or not they're willing to be unattached for the rest of their life in order to live in the body of and be the person they believe themself to be. Very thought provoking for sure.

I don't know, just seemed like an interesting topic for a single FTMs and Femmes thread.

Anyone else have thoughts about this?

[diamondrose]

Originally Posted by T D

Watched the documentary about Chaz earlier and I keep hearing those words "who will love me? Who's going to love a man without a penis?" I think this is something that a lot of transmen ask themselves. It's certainly a legitimate question too. I was especially relieved to hear Chaz say that being a man isn't about what's between your legs, which I also believe. It's about the person as a whole being, who they are, how they treat others, the whole shebang.

Yet another topic that Chaz brought up was about not getting to be a young man. I can so relate to that, hell I didn't even get to be a middle aged man. One of the things that was very difficult for me when deciding whether or not to proceed with my transition was whether or not it would make it more difficult for me to date or find a partner, and especially at my age. I have pretty much resolved to spend the rest of my life as a single person if it comes to that, but honestly, it's a sad thing when you think about it.... that one even has to consider whether or not they're willing to be unattached for the rest of their life in order to live in the body of and be the person they believe themself to be. Very thought provoking for sure.

I don't know, just seemed like an interesting topic for a single FTMs and Femmes thread.

Anyone else have thoughts about this?

I watched the Documentary about Chaz last night as well. I was very taken by the rawness of the material. Everything about it was well put together and well produced. I certainly agree with Chaz when he says that being a man is not about having a penis. I certainly will never know first hand the struggles and challenges a man, such as yourself (T D), goes through. I do know that as a stone femme, gender and my attraction to trans and stone butch doesn't begin with what is in their pants. Its about His personality, the man He IS, the mutual understanding and acceptance of two people, and the understanding of lives we live to feel whole.

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by diamondrose

I watched the Documentary about Chaz last night as well. I was very taken by the rawness of the material. Everything about it was well put together and well produced. I certainly agree with Chaz when he says that being a man is not about having a penis. I certainly will never know first hand the struggles and challenges a man, such as yourself (T D), goes through. I do know that as a stone femme, gender and my attraction to trans and stone butch doesn't begin with what is in their pants. Its about His personality, the man He IS, the mutual understanding and acceptance of two people, and the understanding of lives we live to feel whole.

.. I ditto .. Cuddles..

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by diamondrose

I watched the Documentary about Chaz last night as well. I was very taken by the rawness of the material. Everything about it was well put together and well produced. I certainly agree with Chaz when he says that being a man is not about having a penis. I certainly will never know first hand the struggles and challenges a man, such as yourself (T D), goes through. I do know that as a stone femme, gender and my attraction to trans and stone butch doesn't begin with what is in their pants. Its about His personality, the man He IS, the mutual understanding and acceptance of two people, and the understanding of lives we live to feel whole.

........... omg.. im sorry .. i think im having brain farts... im in 2 different single threads.... and well cuddlyfemme. use's same fonts.. and well .. sorry for the mixx up.. ...

[jules5041]

Hi.

My name is Julie.

I am single.

[Joe Mario]

Agreeing with the others about being OK about being single right now, but still looking.
I didn't give a lot of thought about dating after going on T. There were a fair amount of single Femmes out there a half dozen years ago, where dating wasn't an issue as much as, even say, what I was packing in my wallet to afford the social opportunities which seemed to abound.

Generally speaking, I think the Butch-Femme Community has 'setteled down', if you will, as many have found their life-partners and don't circulate as much as in years gone by.
The crying shame of it for me is that I truely feel I am at my most sexually and athletically virile, but at the same time, I'm feeling a kind of aloofness that I attribute to the T.

Although I hate to 'waste' anything, the 'I'd really like to be dating, but it's truely OK not to be for now' feeling others have expressed seems to hit the mark for me.

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by Joe Mario

The crying shame of it for me is that I truely feel I am at my most sexually and athletically virile.....

Although I hate to 'waste' anything....

Me too!!!!

[LotusFlower]

speaking of dating ...

Are there good sites out there?

[DomnNC]

Originally Posted by T D

Watched the documentary about Chaz earlier and I keep hearing those words "who will love me? Who's going to love a man without a penis?" I think this is something that a lot of transmen ask themselves. It's certainly a legitimate question too. I was especially relieved to hear Chaz say that being a man isn't about what's between your legs, which I also believe. It's about the person as a whole being, who they are, how they treat others, the whole shebang.

Yet another topic that Chaz brought up was about not getting to be a young man. I can so relate to that, hell I didn't even get to be a middle aged man. One of the things that was very difficult for me when deciding whether or not to proceed with my transition was whether or not it would make it more difficult for me to date or find a partner, and especially at my age. I have pretty much resolved to spend the rest of my life as a single person if it comes to that, but honestly, it's a sad thing when you think about it.... that one even has to consider whether or not they're willing to be unattached for the rest of their life in order to live in the body of and be the person they believe themself to be. Very thought provoking for sure.

I don't know, just seemed like an interesting topic for a single FTMs and Femmes thread.

Anyone else have thoughts about this?

Hi TD,

I can so totally relate to Chaz's wondering about who would love a man without a penis. I've not transitioned for personal reasons but that doesn't make me less of a man. I've known since I was 5 years old that I was in the wrong body. I know who I am, without a doubt, I know I am a man, trapped within. I've often wondered since my wife died how or if I'd ever find another woman who would totally accept me and not throw it back in my face whenever times got difficult. I was totally horrified when his girlfriend said yes she does throw it in his face when they are arguing at times, how totally callous and cold is that? She's not accepted him for who he is in my opinion, if she has she would have never done that. My wife did it to me once very early in our relationship, she saw how it totally devastated me to hear her say that, it just about killed her inside, how it killed me a little inside and she couldn't/wouldn't stop apologizing for it for a year or better. We got passed it and she never did it again. She died loving me for who I truly was, I often wonder if I'll ever have that again, find someone who can love with that total depth of understanding.

Being a man has nothing to do with what is on your chest, what is between your legs, being a man is what is inside, what is in your head, what is in your your heart, what is in your very soul. Those of us who are transgendered know this fully. It's hard to get someone else to understand that without thinking you've lost your mind. I can't tell you the number of times someone has had an aha moment with me and proclaimed "Omg You're such a man!", well, duh!! lol.

As far as being willing to spend the rest of your life alone with transitioning, I think the same can be said if you don't especially if you're unwilling to be with someone who doesn't acknowledge who you are within and treat you as such.

As you said very thought provoking material TD and I wish you the very best on your journey. I hope you don't have to live the rest of your life unpartnered, that would truly be sad but I have a feeling you won't, again my very best for you and your future.

[curlyredhead]

I haven't watched the documentary, but I can certainly see what he means. I will say honestly the last thing I ever thought about prior to transitioning and even when I started hormones, was dating someone and trying to find someone I could marry. Sure there are days I feel lonely, but for the time being I am happy where I am at. Regardless of that though I still am looking to meet someone, but I don't expect to get married tomorrow.

[morningstar55]

mawning singles
hope you all have a awsome day

[MickMan]

Hey everyone

I have been watching the thread a bit and decided to post.

I have been single going on three years now. I have not even gone on a date. I have loved the time I have spent on me (and mom, I care for her) but I have to admit, it gets a little lonely sometimes.

I think it is really hard being FTM and a caregiver, even fewer options out there. I am in Jacksonville FL and I have to say I think I am the only transmale around and all the girls are invisible LOL

[diamondrose]

Mick,

Welcome! I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but its a great thing you are doing for your mom! It shows alot of great things about you! Stay positive and one day that right femme will be there!

[MickMan]

Originally Posted by diamondrose

Mick,

Welcome! I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but its a great thing you are doing for your mom! It shows alot of great things about you! Stay positive and one day that right femme will be there!

Thanks Diamond,

I do what I do for mom and I am rewarded everyday for it.

I am sure one day I will meet someone, I would just like it to be before I am on Social Security LOL

[T D]

Originally Posted by MickMan

Hey everyone

I have been watching the thread a bit and decided to post.

I have been single going on three years now. I have not even gone on a date. I have loved the time I have spent on me (and mom, I care for her) but I have to admit, it gets a little lonely sometimes.

I think it is really hard being FTM and a caregiver, even fewer options out there. I am in Jacksonville FL and I have to say I think I am the only transmale around and all the girls are invisible LOL

I totally feel what you're saying, Mick, I'm in a similar situation.

I hope you find the Planet to be of some assistance and fun for you in connecting with others.

Welcome!

[MaggieBluIze]

Good Morning and Happy Friday Singles!!

So ... Any big plans for the weekend?

Would

[MickMan]

Originally Posted by T D

I totally feel what you're saying, Mick, I'm in a similar situation.

I hope you find the Planet to be of some assistance and fun for you in connecting with others.

Welcome!

Hey TD

I am still learning my way around here, but so far everyone has been great.

I hope your situation gets better for you or should I say, I hope that you find solace while in your situation.

Thanks for the welcome!

Mick

[Jesse]

Hey TD,

Nice post. I watched the Doc as well as the After Doc with Rosie. Considering some of the other stuff out there on Transmen, I have to say this was well done. I can relate to so much of what Chaz is going through, because I have already been there, done that and don't even want the shirt.

I believe that anytime a person chooses for their life that one thing they must have or be...willing to risk losing everything else, they very possibly could be put into a situation where they do indeed live their life without a partner -OR- they could open up their lives in such a way that there is only room for that right person to enter into. That is simply one of those things that we as humans have absolutely no control over regardless of whether we transition or not.

When I transitioned 13 years ago, I knew there was a strong possibility that I would forever remain single. What was more important to me at that time, was that I was choosing to save my own life. Yes, today I am single, but that's okay with me for now and I have zero regrets about transitioning. - Jesse

Originally Posted by T D

Watched the documentary about Chaz earlier and I keep hearing those words "who will love me? Who's going to love a man without a penis?" I think this is something that a lot of transmen ask themselves. It's certainly a legitimate question too. I was especially relieved to hear Chaz say that being a man isn't about what's between your legs, which I also believe. It's about the person as a whole being, who they are, how they treat others, the whole shebang.

Yet another topic that Chaz brought up was about not getting to be a young man. I can so relate to that, hell I didn't even get to be a middle aged man. One of the things that was very difficult for me when deciding whether or not to proceed with my transition was whether or not it would make it more difficult for me to date or find a partner, and especially at my age. I have pretty much resolved to spend the rest of my life as a single person if it comes to that, but honestly, it's a sad thing when you think about it.... that one even has to consider whether or not they're willing to be unattached for the rest of their life in order to live in the body of and be the person they believe themself to be. Very thought provoking for sure.

I don't know, just seemed like an interesting topic for a single FTMs and Femmes thread.

Anyone else have thoughts about this?

[violaine]

good afternoon!

i am totally fine with being single. the pigs get me all to themselves

seriously, right now, with a recent move back home to florida, i am busy/romancing the land-ocean-skyscapes at the moment! friendship comes first anyway.