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#1 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme woman Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
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Location: Central Florida
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I too am in the "old" group, so listen up because I have some good advice for y'all. I am a femme who has spent more than half of her life partnered to FTM's, and I would NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER (I can't say it enough) encourage ANYONE to transition. It is the hardest thing that any person could ever go through, and for the partner, I speculate that it is even harder than it is for the person who transitions.
If you genuinely feel displaced in your body or your spirit, then transitioning will be one high after another for you. BUT - it will still be the hardest thing you will ever do. To any femmes (or anyone else for that matter) who may encourage or pressure your friends, partners, acquaintences to transition, PLEASE stop. Almost all relationships end when one of the partners transition. In fact most end right away when one partner expresses the desire to transition. When my late husband transitioned, we were in a support group that included about fifty couples, both FTM and MTF. Out of these fifty couples only two survived the transition. My husband and I were one, the other was a couple that began their lives together as Gay men, and one of them transitioned MTF. They are a wonderfully loving couple and I am still friends with them . I could go on for three hours about all the hard painful things that happen when your partner transitions, but you can find that information elsewhere. I loved my husband with everything I had in me, and he returned my love at least that strongly. He has been dead for seven plus years and I am still not fully recovered ... Not from losing him and not from losing me. Cause that's what happened when he transitioned. I transitioned too - from gay to straight. Finding my way back to myself, or rather TO my new self has been a long complicated (though sometimes exciting) journey. Finding oneself is hard and is a journey that continues throughout ones life. Let people find their own selves. Don't push them in any direction. The world had room for every variation on the gender spectrum. Make room for everyone as they are and as they evolve ON THEIR OWN. Smooches, Keri |
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#2 |
Infamous Member
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He Relationship Status:
Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Where I want to be
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I thought about this last night as I was falling blissfully asleep.
It's about maturity, the knowledge of self and being secure enough in ones self. No one can pressure anyone into anything if that person is secure enough in knowing who they are. It's as simple as that. Just be you!
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"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) Last edited by Corkey; 05-14-2011 at 10:25 AM. |
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#3 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status:
Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011
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There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible. Last edited by LaneyDoll; 06-10-2011 at 10:08 AM. Reason: Spelling error that was confusing. :) |
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