Single FTM's & Femme's - Page 28

curlyredhead · 05-11-2011, 11:49 AM

I haven't watched the documentary, but I can certainly see what he means. I will say honestly the last thing I ever thought about prior to transitioning and even when I started hormones, was dating someone and trying to find someone I could marry. Sure there are days I feel lonely, but for the time being I am happy where I am at. Regardless of that though I still am looking to meet someone, but I don't expect to get married tomorrow.

Jesse · 05-11-2011, 12:18 PM

Hey TD,

Nice post. I watched the Doc as well as the After Doc with Rosie. Considering some of the other stuff out there on Transmen, I have to say this was well done. I can relate to so much of what Chaz is going through, because I have already been there, done that and don't even want the shirt.

I believe that anytime a person chooses for their life that one thing they must have or be...willing to risk losing everything else, they very possibly could be put into a situation where they do indeed live their life without a partner -OR- they could open up their lives in such a way that there is only room for that right person to enter into. That is simply one of those things that we as humans have absolutely no control over regardless of whether we transition or not.

When I transitioned 13 years ago, I knew there was a strong possibility that I would forever remain single. What was more important to me at that time, was that I was choosing to save my own life. Yes, today I am single, but that's okay with me for now and I have zero regrets about transitioning.

- Jesse

Quote:

Originally Posted by T D

Watched the documentary about Chaz earlier and I keep hearing those words "who will love me? Who's going to love a man without a penis?" I think this is something that a lot of transmen ask themselves. It's certainly a legitimate question too. I was especially relieved to hear Chaz say that being a man isn't about what's between your legs, which I also believe. It's about the person as a whole being, who they are, how they treat others, the whole shebang.

Yet another topic that Chaz brought up was about not getting to be a young man. I can so relate to that, hell I didn't even get to be a middle aged man. One of the things that was very difficult for me when deciding whether or not to proceed with my transition was whether or not it would make it more difficult for me to date or find a partner, and especially at my age. I have pretty much resolved to spend the rest of my life as a single person if it comes to that, but honestly, it's a sad thing when you think about it.... that one even has to consider whether or not they're willing to be unattached for the rest of their life in order to live in the body of and be the person they believe themself to be. Very thought provoking for sure.

I don't know, just seemed like an interesting topic for a single FTMs and Femmes thread.

Anyone else have thoughts about this?

violaine · 05-11-2011, 12:48 PM

good afternoon!

i am totally fine with being single. the pigs get me all to themselves

seriously, right now, with a recent move back home to florida, i am busy/romancing the land-ocean-skyscapes at the moment! friendship comes first anyway.

morningstar55 · 05-11-2011, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diamondrose

I watched the Documentary about Chaz last night as well. I was very taken by the rawness of the material. Everything about it was well put together and well produced. I certainly agree with Chaz when he says that being a man is not about having a penis. I certainly will never know first hand the struggles and challenges a man, such as yourself (T D), goes through. I do know that as a stone femme, gender and my attraction to trans and stone butch doesn't begin with what is in their pants. Its about His personality, the man He IS, the mutual understanding and acceptance of two people, and the understanding of lives we live to feel whole.

........... omg.. im sorry .. i think im having brain farts... im in 2 different single threads.... and well cuddlyfemme. use's same fonts.. and well .. sorry for the mixx up..

...

jules5041 · 05-11-2011, 05:17 PM

Hi.

My name is Julie.

I am single.

Joe Mario · 05-11-2011, 08:07 PM

Agreeing with the others about being OK about being single right now, but still looking.
I didn't give a lot of thought about dating after going on T. There were a fair amount of single Femmes out there a half dozen years ago, where dating wasn't an issue as much as, even say, what I was packing in my wallet to afford the social opportunities which seemed to abound.

Generally speaking, I think the Butch-Femme Community has 'setteled down', if you will, as many have found their life-partners and don't circulate as much as in years gone by.
The crying shame of it for me is that I truely feel I am at my most sexually and athletically virile, but at the same time, I'm feeling a kind of aloofness that I attribute to the T.

Although I hate to 'waste' anything, the 'I'd really like to be dating, but it's truely OK not to be for now' feeling others have expressed seems to hit the mark for me.

Queerasfck · 05-11-2011, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Mario

The crying shame of it for me is that I truely feel I am at my most sexually and athletically virile.....

Although I hate to 'waste' anything....

Me too!!!!

LotusFlower · 05-11-2011, 08:27 PM

speaking of dating ...

Are there good sites out there?

morningstar55 · 05-12-2011, 04:22 AM

mawning single thread dwellers nd peekers

violaine · 05-13-2011, 09:31 AM

what is everyone up to for the weekend?

i am dog and bird sitting. the macaw can be heard for miles [naturally], and so i have to cover my ears around her and/or use ear plugs! the dogs are sweet- great dane and she sleeps with me; dobie; and rottie-mix.

hope you all enjoy yourselves and get into such much trouble!

belle

jules5041 · 05-13-2011, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LotusFlower

speaking of dating ...

Are there good sites out there?

I would also love to know if anyone knows any good dating sites out there. The only one I have found is Plenty Of Fish, but there do not seem to be many butches in my area. Frown. I hate that.

jules5041 · 05-13-2011, 09:39 AM

Tonight I am hanging with my best girl, Heather.

Saturday I am going to lunch and to the movies with my mom.

Saturday night I am going to see women's football. A good friend of mine is playing.

Sunday I am spending the day at home getting ready for the upcoming week.

Should be a fun weekend!!!

morningstar55 · 05-17-2011, 06:27 AM

mawning singles
hope you all have a awsome day

MickMan · 05-18-2011, 10:15 AM

Hey everyone

I have been watching the thread a bit and decided to post.

I have been single going on three years now. I have not even gone on a date. I have loved the time I have spent on me (and mom, I care for her) but I have to admit, it gets a little lonely sometimes.

I think it is really hard being FTM and a caregiver, even fewer options out there. I am in Jacksonville FL and I have to say I think I am the only transmale around and all the girls are invisible LOL

diamondrose · 05-18-2011, 03:04 PM

Mick,

Welcome! I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but its a great thing you are doing for your mom! It shows alot of great things about you! Stay positive and one day that right femme will be there!

T D · 05-19-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MickMan

Hey everyone

I have been watching the thread a bit and decided to post.

I have been single going on three years now. I have not even gone on a date. I have loved the time I have spent on me (and mom, I care for her) but I have to admit, it gets a little lonely sometimes.

I think it is really hard being FTM and a caregiver, even fewer options out there. I am in Jacksonville FL and I have to say I think I am the only transmale around and all the girls are invisible LOL

I totally feel what you're saying, Mick, I'm in a similar situation.

I hope you find the Planet to be of some assistance and fun for you in connecting with others.

Welcome!

MaggieBluIze · 05-20-2011, 07:41 AM

Good Morning and Happy Friday Singles!!

So ... Any big plans for the weekend?

Would

MickMan · 05-21-2011, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diamondrose

Mick,

Welcome! I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but its a great thing you are doing for your mom! It shows alot of great things about you! Stay positive and one day that right femme will be there!

Thanks Diamond,

I do what I do for mom and I am rewarded everyday for it.

I am sure one day I will meet someone, I would just like it to be before I am on Social Security LOL

MickMan · 05-21-2011, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T D

I totally feel what you're saying, Mick, I'm in a similar situation.

I hope you find the Planet to be of some assistance and fun for you in connecting with others.

Welcome!

Hey TD

I am still learning my way around here, but so far everyone has been great.

I hope your situation gets better for you or should I say, I hope that you find solace while in your situation.

Thanks for the welcome!

Mick

QueenofSmirks · 05-21-2011, 12:44 PM

Good morning all! I'm having a very lazy Saturday!

I'm trying to stay motivated to finish a story I started writing last night - but I'm sort of "eh" about it.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous this morning 74 degrees, but gonna ramp up to 92 later! eeek!

05-11-2011, 08:07 PM	#546
Joe Mario Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Just a guy Preferred Pronoun?: 'He' will be fine. Relationship Status: happily involved Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 57 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 67 Times in 24 Posts Rep Power: 41800	Agreeing with the others about being OK about being single right now, but still looking. I didn't give a lot of thought about dating after going on T. There were a fair amount of single Femmes out there a half dozen years ago, where dating wasn't an issue as much as, even say, what I was packing in my wallet to afford the social opportunities which seemed to abound. Generally speaking, I think the Butch-Femme Community has 'setteled down', if you will, as many have found their life-partners and don't circulate as much as in years gone by. The crying shame of it for me is that I truely feel I am at my most sexually and athletically virile, but at the same time, I'm feeling a kind of aloofness that I attribute to the T. Although I hate to 'waste' anything, the 'I'd really like to be dating, but it's truely OK not to be for now' feeling others have expressed seems to hit the mark for me. __________________ Ciao, ~Joe Mario

05-11-2011, 08:27 PM	#548
LotusFlower Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Geek Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 43 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 27 Thanked 31 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 48899	Speaking of speaking of dating ... Are there good sites out there? __________________ Lotus Flower http://www.kanatayoga.com/x-icon.jpg

05-12-2011, 04:22 AM	#549
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	mawning single thread dwellers nd peekers __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

05-17-2011, 06:27 AM	#553
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	mawning singles hope you all have a awsome day __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

05-20-2011, 07:41 AM	#557
MaggieBluIze Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Feisty Kick Butt Bratty Babygirl Femme LOL Preferred Pronoun?: Something Sweet Please =) Relationship Status: My rainbow bubble holds love, happiness and life with my sweet Husbutch Daddy Bass! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Austin TX Baby!!! Posts: 2,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,912 Thanked 5,385 Times in 1,504 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Good Morning and Happy Friday Singles!! So ... Any big plans for the weekend? Would __________________ s her sweet Daddy Bass ~~http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ion/maggie.jpg

05-11-2011, 11:49 AM	#541
curlyredhead Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Female to Male "Straight" Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Plano, TX Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 644 Thanked 893 Times in 265 Posts Rep Power: 5285384	I haven't watched the documentary, but I can certainly see what he means. I will say honestly the last thing I ever thought about prior to transitioning and even when I started hormones, was dating someone and trying to find someone I could marry. Sure there are days I feel lonely, but for the time being I am happy where I am at. Regardless of that though I still am looking to meet someone, but I don't expect to get married tomorrow.

05-11-2011, 12:48 PM	#543
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	good afternoon! i am totally fine with being single. the pigs get me all to themselves seriously, right now, with a recent move back home to florida, i am busy/romancing the land-ocean-skyscapes at the moment! friendship comes first anyway.

05-11-2011, 05:17 PM	#545
jules5041 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: do not disturb... Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: little rock, arkansas Posts: 226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 280 Thanked 596 Times in 163 Posts Rep Power: 5414486	Hi. My name is Julie. I am single.

05-13-2011, 09:31 AM	#550
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	what is everyone up to for the weekend? i am dog and bird sitting. the macaw can be heard for miles [naturally], and so i have to cover my ears around her and/or use ear plugs! the dogs are sweet- great dane and she sleeps with me; dobie; and rottie-mix. hope you all enjoy yourselves and get into such much trouble! belle

05-13-2011, 09:39 AM	#552
jules5041 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: do not disturb... Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: little rock, arkansas Posts: 226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 280 Thanked 596 Times in 163 Posts Rep Power: 5414486	Tonight I am hanging with my best girl, Heather. Saturday I am going to lunch and to the movies with my mom. Saturday night I am going to see women's football. A good friend of mine is playing. Sunday I am spending the day at home getting ready for the upcoming week. Should be a fun weekend!!!

05-18-2011, 10:15 AM	#554
MickMan Member How Do You Identify?: Male/FTM Preferred Pronoun?: Those which are male Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2011 Location: Florida Posts: 118 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 37 Thanked 222 Times in 83 Posts Rep Power: 1071129	Hey everyone I have been watching the thread a bit and decided to post. I have been single going on three years now. I have not even gone on a date. I have loved the time I have spent on me (and mom, I care for her) but I have to admit, it gets a little lonely sometimes. I think it is really hard being FTM and a caregiver, even fewer options out there. I am in Jacksonville FL and I have to say I think I am the only transmale around and all the girls are invisible LOL

05-18-2011, 03:04 PM	#555
diamondrose Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: . Posts: 1,384 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2 Thanked 2,895 Times in 923 Posts Rep Power: 13536274	Mick, Welcome! I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but its a great thing you are doing for your mom! It shows alot of great things about you! Stay positive and one day that right femme will be there!

05-21-2011, 12:44 PM	#560
QueenofSmirks Member How Do You Identify?: Just Me Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Busy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Phoenix - Valley of the Sun Posts: 1,429 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,010 Thanked 2,916 Times in 880 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Good morning all! I'm having a very lazy Saturday! I'm trying to stay motivated to finish a story I started writing last night - but I'm sort of "eh" about it. The weather is absolutely gorgeous this morning 74 degrees, but gonna ramp up to 92 later! eeek! __________________ Stephanie "There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Christopher Morley