The Love list.

Gráinne · 06-01-2011, 11:02 AM

For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow.

So, my list isn't what I seek in a partner (though if one showed up, great!), but rather what I want to grow in myself over the next year, June to June:

1. Patience
2. Tolerance
3. Openness (general)
4. Outgoingness
5. Appreciation of beauty in art, music, and writing,
6. Self-expression
7. Peace within; calmness
8. Having said that, great passion and fire within
9. Greater mind-body connection
10. High level of self-care
11. Respect and care for friendships
12. Hard work
13. Creativity
14. Inner joy
15. Care of surroundings
16. Experimental (in food, art, music, etc.)
17. Sense of humor
18. Compassion
19. Having a cause
20. Independence
21. Confidence
22. Sensuality
23. Sexuality, inner and perhaps with partners
24. Sense of adventure
25. Time on more hobbies
26. Education, always growing
27. Joy at work
28. Openness and readiness for love
29. Good physical health
30. Mentally tough

LaneyDoll · 06-01-2011, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guihong

For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow.

Damn!!! I am officially speechless and my friends will tell you-that rarely happens.

This is beautifully stated. I may have to email it to myself as a reminder (with your permission of course).

Mr Nice Guy · 06-19-2011, 11:34 AM

Ok we need more lists people!!

MrSunshine · 06-19-2011, 11:36 AM

1. Sweet

everything else is cake

Mr Nice Guy · 06-19-2011, 11:40 AM

I like that. Quick and to the point.

cinderella · 06-20-2011, 09:51 PM

You are one very easy dude...or are you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

1. Sweet

everything else is cake

Puplove · 06-20-2011, 11:06 PM

I have one:

Be the Oiler.

Funny how all those MUSTS become insignificant when you meet the one, because the one just fits. If everything was exactly according to the requirements I'd planned, it would be kind of creepy. How would I know the Oiler was a real person and not just a a co-dependent extension of myself? Someone with real wishes, self-determination, quirks and flaws that don't depend on my approval? A real person I can love and trust to be himself while loving me for who I am too.

A key ingredient is that I had to love and be confident in myself and my flaws, and quirks first, to be truly happy with myself and my own company. Then, the person right for you can find you because you're showing your true self in every situation.

bigbutchmistie · 06-19-2011, 12:02 PM

My List

Honest

Loyal

Trustworthy I can trust her with my life. This is VERY important

Extremely girly but aggressive

Is over 30.

Believes In God

Doesn't have children to raise

Romantic. Someone who doesn't expect me to just be romantic with her. Someone who loves treating her butch like a king as she will be treated as my queen.

Employed. Self sufficient

Non Smoker

No drugs social drinker is fine no drunks

Doesn't have cats. I'm highly allergic

Can handle me with ease

Has Common Sense

Tender

Patient

Affectionate

Nurturing

Understanding

Inuitive of my needs

Emotionally Supportive

Knows how to be on time

Someone who is highly sexual and isn't a pillow princess

Someone who puts relationships a priority and not an option

Someone is who is spontaneous. Who can and will drop everything at a moments notice to go a way together.

Someone who loves being femme but can be relaxed in just shorts and a t shirt.

Isn't materialistic. Enjoys the little things.

Has and uses manners

Protective of me as I am of her.

Mr Nice Guy · 06-19-2011, 12:08 PM

Great list!! I'm glad you all are filling it out. I believe it works. It did for some on another site. Oh you all can call me Handsome or Elusive or the King love bumper. Always here to help find love.

bigbutchmistie · 06-19-2011, 09:21 PM

Oh yea and someone who wants to have a commitment ceremony traditional with her in a long flowing white wedding dress and me in tuxedo.

.

lillith · 06-19-2011, 10:30 PM

I have 1, as well:

Integrity

When a person has integrity all the traits of honesty, loyalty, honor, etc don't need to be stated, ya know? For me, they are all interrelated, and you cannot have one without the others. So it is just one. Well, maybe brown eyes too, but that is flexible.

bigbutchmistie · 07-04-2011, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbutchmistie

My List

Honest

Loyal

Trustworthy I can trust her with my life. This is VERY important

Extremely girly but aggressive

Is over 30.

Believes In God

Doesn't have children to raise

Romantic. Someone who doesn't expect me to just be romantic with her. Someone who loves treating her butch like a king as she will be treated as my queen.

Employed. Self sufficient

Non Smoker

No drugs social drinker is fine no drunks

Doesn't have cats. I'm highly allergic

Can handle me with ease

Has Common Sense

Tender

Patient

Affectionate

Nurturing

Understanding

Inuitive of my needs

Emotionally Supportive

Knows how to be on time

Someone who is highly sexual and isn't a pillow princess

Someone who puts relationships a priority and not an option

Someone is who is spontaneous. Who can and will drop everything at a moments notice to go a way together.

Someone who loves being femme but can be relaxed in just shorts and a t shirt.

Isn't materialistic. Enjoys the little things.

Has and uses manners

Protective of me as I am of her.

I added likes to cook

But oh loves to kiss.

Loves things girlie Bubble baths mani/pedi. Perfume lotion

Must be ok with the fact I have no family.

justkim · 07-04-2011, 08:24 PM

List's are for grocery shopping...

We are always changing and growing...

Why limit yourself?

Happy List making...

T4Texas · 07-04-2011, 09:25 PM

There are lots of things I could put on a list I suppose, but I sat and thought about this a lot and decided to condense it to the things I felt were really the most important to me.

1. Must be able to have intelligent conversation.

2. Must be willing to communicate

3. Must have a kind heart

4. Must love me for who I am, try to understand the flaws and embrace the positives, and I will do the same for you.

5. Must be more than just vanilla

06-01-2011, 11:02 AM	#1
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,118 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow. So, my list isn't what I seek in a partner (though if one showed up, great!), but rather what I want to grow in myself over the next year, June to June: 1. Patience 2. Tolerance 3. Openness (general) 4. Outgoingness 5. Appreciation of beauty in art, music, and writing, 6. Self-expression 7. Peace within; calmness 8. Having said that, great passion and fire within 9. Greater mind-body connection 10. High level of self-care 11. Respect and care for friendships 12. Hard work 13. Creativity 14. Inner joy 15. Care of surroundings 16. Experimental (in food, art, music, etc.) 17. Sense of humor 18. Compassion 19. Having a cause 20. Independence 21. Confidence 22. Sensuality 23. Sexuality, inner and perhaps with partners 24. Sense of adventure 25. Time on more hobbies 26. Education, always growing 27. Joy at work 28. Openness and readiness for love 29. Good physical health 30. Mentally tough __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

06-20-2011, 11:06 PM	#7
Puplove Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Austin TX Posts: 904 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 879 Thanked 3,215 Times in 705 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have one: Be the Oiler. Funny how all those MUSTS become insignificant when you meet the one, because the one just fits. If everything was exactly according to the requirements I'd planned, it would be kind of creepy. How would I know the Oiler was a real person and not just a a co-dependent extension of myself? Someone with real wishes, self-determination, quirks and flaws that don't depend on my approval? A real person I can love and trust to be himself while loving me for who I am too. A key ingredient is that I had to love and be confident in myself and my flaws, and quirks first, to be truly happy with myself and my own company. Then, the person right for you can find you because you're showing your true self in every situation. __________________ Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "...Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Last edited by Puplove; 06-20-2011 at 11:07 PM. Reason: oh grammar - a flaw!

06-19-2011, 12:02 PM	#8
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	My List Honest Loyal Trustworthy I can trust her with my life. This is VERY important Extremely girly but aggressive Is over 30. Believes In God Doesn't have children to raise Romantic. Someone who doesn't expect me to just be romantic with her. Someone who loves treating her butch like a king as she will be treated as my queen. Employed. Self sufficient Non Smoker No drugs social drinker is fine no drunks Doesn't have cats. I'm highly allergic Can handle me with ease Has Common Sense Tender Patient Affectionate Nurturing Understanding Inuitive of my needs Emotionally Supportive Knows how to be on time Someone who is highly sexual and isn't a pillow princess Someone who puts relationships a priority and not an option Someone is who is spontaneous. Who can and will drop everything at a moments notice to go a way together. Someone who loves being femme but can be relaxed in just shorts and a t shirt. Isn't materialistic. Enjoys the little things. Has and uses manners Protective of me as I am of her. Last edited by bigbutchmistie; 06-19-2011 at 12:05 PM.

06-19-2011, 10:30 PM	#11
lillith Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her, hey you! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 204 Thanked 688 Times in 225 Posts Rep Power: 5173241	I have 1, as well: Integrity When a person has integrity all the traits of honesty, loyalty, honor, etc don't need to be stated, ya know? For me, they are all interrelated, and you cannot have one without the others. So it is just one. Well, maybe brown eyes too, but that is flexible. __________________ now how can you ignore a dancing pink elephant? and how i so wish it would rain here.

07-04-2011, 08:24 PM	#13
justkim Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Relationship Status: <3 myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 2,023 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,062 Thanked 6,799 Times in 1,553 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	List's are for grocery shopping... We are always changing and growing... Why limit yourself? Happy List making... __________________ Kim "A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." - Unknown -

06-19-2011, 11:34 AM	#3
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Ok we need more lists people!!

06-19-2011, 11:36 AM	#4
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	1. Sweet everything else is cake

06-19-2011, 11:40 AM	#5
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	I like that. Quick and to the point.

06-19-2011, 12:08 PM	#9
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	Great list!! I'm glad you all are filling it out. I believe it works. It did for some on another site. Oh you all can call me Handsome or Elusive or the King love bumper. Always here to help find love.

06-19-2011, 09:21 PM	#10
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Oh yea and someone who wants to have a commitment ceremony traditional with her in a long flowing white wedding dress and me in tuxedo. .

07-04-2011, 09:25 PM	#14
T4Texas Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Ready to play again! Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 233 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 436 Thanked 647 Times in 167 Posts Rep Power: 6739721	There are lots of things I could put on a list I suppose, but I sat and thought about this a lot and decided to condense it to the things I felt were really the most important to me. 1. Must be able to have intelligent conversation. 2. Must be willing to communicate 3. Must have a kind heart 4. Must love me for who I am, try to understand the flaws and embrace the positives, and I will do the same for you. 5. Must be more than just vanilla __________________ Chivalry is when you meet a woman you would rather die for, than live with.