Transgendered Furry Slave

[Julie]

Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm confused as why the OP didn't go or hasn't gone to the unknowing mom, yet now all of us and the internets know. How unfair that the Mother has no clue yet we do.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Julie

Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.

That may be in some communities, straight ones, but it is not true. Homosexuality isn't a kink. It is about who you are attracted to and who you love, not what gets you off or what you do in the bedroom, or dungeon, etc. Kink is an erotic category. Like Corkey said, this kid is not a consenting adult. Big difference!

[Julie]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

That may be in some communities, straight ones, but it is not true. Homosexuality isn't a kink. It is about who you are attracted to and who you love, not what gets you off or what you do in the bedroom, or dungeon, etc. Kink is an erotic category. Like Corkey said, this kid is not a consenting adult. Big difference!

In many communities homosexuality is considered deviant sex and kink.
Gay men are still placed along side with pedophilia.

I am not disagreeing - I think the parents need to speak with the child, if they have not already done so. We really do not have all the details and all we are doing is judging.

Do you not see the judgment here? And all this based on a few lines of text.

[WolfyOne]

I think I'd be wondering more, if the mom is the custodial parent, then why isn't the boy with her

I believe there's much more to this story than we know

Who knows what this child has been exposed to throughout his young years

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

Not at all, I trust that you have talked extensively to your children and have taken their opinions into account. I do not see the correlation between the OP's scenario and your pack at all.
I know you to be honest and sensitive to your children and their needs.

[Andrea]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.

Nearly every day I read about a child being kept in a cage, starved, beaten, forced to have sex, killed, on and on....

What you have stated is in no way abuse and I do not see abuse of the OP's nephew based on the information provided. Lack of consideration and open communication, yes, but not abuse.

Andrea

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Julie

In many communities homosexuality is considered deviant sex and kink.
Gay men are still placed along side with pedophilia.

I am not disagreeing - I think the parents need to speak with the child, if they have not already done so. We really do not have all the details and all we are doing is judging.

Do you not see the judgment here? And all this based on a few lines of text.

Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.

And that's what I am trying to get across. We don't really know the whole story. Is it not possible the kid is feeling all sorts of shame, because other people are? Is it possible Okie and Red are throwing their shame onto the kid? Perhaps the child was okay with it, until someone said - Whoahhh wait a minute - are you okay with this? LIGHT BULB?

Children are pretty remarkable and understanding. They are more open than most adults. It is when adults start putting their shit onto them, that issues tend to arise.

I still believe, we are hearing a little bit of something and not the whole story. Should the Mother know what is going on? Absolutely - as much as I wanted to know what was going on in the house of my kids father. Actually, I knew everything - but then again -- I made sure I knew. That is my responsibility as a parent. To parent and always know my kids are safe. Where is Mom? And why doesn't she know? Perhaps she is not so proactive! Perhaps the child doesn't trust her enough to discuss.

HELLO?

[Corkey]

I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.

In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.

[Andrea]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.

Have you ever known a pre-teen that is not uncomfortable with what adults, especially parents, do? (Okay, maybe there are a few.) Where do we draw the line at expecting the parent to change their life to make the child comfortable?

While drawing lines, where do we draw the line as to what is considered kink?

[kannon]

I've never had kids but aren't most teenagers or preteens embarrassed of their parents, even when the parents are "normal".

Wearing a tail and a collar in public seems pretty innocuous compared to more serious problems kids face these days.

And, homosexuality, butch/femme, transgendered, is still considered abnormal and harmful to children by most Americans.

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by Julie

Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.

... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.

just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh

[Julie]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.

just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh

Please do go back and read my post. NO, I was not embarrassed by the fact I have lived and loved female bodied masculine women for 33 years. My point about FORCING them, was keeping them in the home, even when it was an issue for my son. Got it?

I absolutely cuddled and kissed my partner in front of my partner. We slowed danced and she would smack my ass! My kids would shriek with joy.

My point - OUR community is considered as KINK and Deviant by other communities. Do you not see that we are taking another faction of our community and judging. That is my point.

And personally, I could care less if someone wears a tail - I would be respectful and as a parent, if I brought my children into a situation where there was were furries, I would explain to them in a most loving, respectful and nurturing manner. It is how I have always raised my children - to know, we are all different.

But then again - my kids knew about sex - inside and out at a very young age. They used to sit in on safe sex meetings I would give, which included anal and oral sex discussion.

[apretty]

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by apretty

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?

The furry tail is like flagging in the Leather world. At least that's what I was told.

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by apretty

I don't hate the furries--I don't think they're 'ew' or gross--To me, I find it mildly amusing that someone wraps themselves in a furry fabric as any part of their identity.

I do however, think that you should keep your tail, butt plug or otherwise, and the rest of your accoutrement confined to your personal social circle. I, personally, (in an ideal world) want to be asked before I participate in your dynamic and I'd think that goes doubly for any 12 year-old.

In addition, there's a huge, obvious difference between being queer and pretty average by society's standards and being a "slave" in a fur costume.

*I am left curious as to why the furry only wears a tail--if she's completely committed to her fur-identity, how does such a small accessory suffice?

This post most succinctly sums up my thoughts on this issue, as both a human being and the parent of a 12 year old boy, who is the child of a queer parent (duh). I did ask my son what his thoughts were, and I can say that this post also pretty much sums up his response.

The bottom line, for me, is that children need to be introduced to "alternative" concepts - whether they be religious, sexual, or food choices - in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. Expecting them simply "to deal" is shitty parenting. Hell, it's shitty human being.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I hope that after all this sound advice Okie & Red have a sit down with the parents and advocate for the distraught child, and that Mom sets some heavy boundaries on how when it comes to her man cub NO ONE is to keep ANYTHING from her, ever again!