Auntie Diva's Story Time

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Diva

Tell cousin Toolboy we don't want the good postman to crash the truck......

We don't have a mailman smilie, do we?

Not yet, but if you squinch really hard, a couple of them could work in a pinch.

Originally Posted by Diva

Good afternoon, boys and girls!

It's time for another story from your Auntie Diva!


Today's story is about your Auntie Diva's Anit~Peach Cobbler Extravaganza....

And the reason it was an 'extravaganza' was because your cousin Pixie was there.....otherwise, it would have been just a regular ol' anti~peach cobbler....Ohhhhhh....Ahhhhhhh...I hear you all saying! It's true!


So. I'm making a simple dinner for your cousin Pixie and I one night....(your cousin Pixie is one of those Vegetanarians, ya know, so it was a challenge for your Auntie Diva, the carnivore....). I made the Vegetanerian Chili, boys and girls.....it actually turned out pretty good ok....and it was even better after I added my browned ground sirloin.

Where was I? Oh yes.....

So...la la la, boys and girls....I was going to make a special treat for your cousin Pixie.....your Auntie Diva's Mama's (that's right, your Gra'ma Sybil's) Peach Cobbler! Yum, boys and girls, YUM!

First....(are you taking notes?) you melt a stick of butter (where do you think Paula Deen got this idea from? Your Gra'ma Sybil, that's who!) in a Pyrex dish in the oven.....so of course, I did this.

While it melted, I made the batter....the usual things: flour, sugar, baking powder, milk.....

And then I went to get the peaches from the pantry......<opening door to pantry>

Your Auntie Diva does this......

There are no peaches.

What to do, what to do???? And I cannot waste these perfectly good ingredients.....so I started to think....if I haven't any peaches, whatever can I substitute? That can of pumpkin pie filling back there? Oh what manner of heinous fuckery would THAT be? No, no, no, boys and girls. Cream of mushroom soup?

Uh........no.

Then I had a brilliant idea.....Ameretto! Oh yes, boys and girls, I aimed to get your cousin Pixie tipsy on alcoholic cobbler! So I put about 1/2 of Ameretto in the batter.....ok, maybe it was a cup. Then I sprinkled some pecans in and some cinnamon and dumped the batter into the butter....sans peaches.....and put it in the oven to bake.

I must admit, boys and girls, that it did smell mighty fine. But the proof, as we all know, is in the pudding. Or rather ~ in this case ~ the Alcoholic Anti~Peach Cobbler.

I tasted first, after we consumed mass quantities of salad and chili and whole wheat rolls....just so your cousin Pixie wouldn't fall down drunk in a stupor. And I was rather surprised!

The top was all torched & glazed over...much like your creme brulee` ~ and the only thing that would have made it BETTER (your cousin Pixie and I had discussion about this) would have been a dollop (or 6) of Vanilla Bean Blue Bell on top.

And that, boys and girls, is the story of your Auntie Diva's Anti~Peach Cobbler.

Signed,

Your Auntie Diva, Screw~Up Chef to all the cousins...

Heinous fuckery indeed. I'm glad you were able to prevail.

Mmmmmm....sirloin....

[morningstar55]

** getting comfy with my blankie and reading the stories**...
dozin off......... **yyawwwnnnnnnn** ...........
zzZZZzzZzzzzzzZZzzZZzzzzzzz

[~Bo]

Damn!! I didn't know this thread was here. Now I gotta go allllll the way back to the beginning and get all caught up.
Wait.......is there a Readers Digest version of this thread???

[Diva]

Originally Posted by ~Bo

Damn!! I didn't know this thread was here. Now I gotta go allllll the way back to the beginning and get all caught up.
Wait.......is there a Readers Digest version of this thread???

Look, cousins, what the cat drug in......

Cousin GemmieLicious? It's your cousin Bodacious, come to stalk you again!!!!

[~Bo]

Originally Posted by Diva

Look, cousins, what the cat drug in......

Cousin GemmieLicious? It's your cousin Bodacious, come to stalk you again!!!!

Cat?? We have a cat?



Gemmie looooooooves me. I just KNOW it..

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Diva

Look, cousins, what the cat drug in......

Cousin GemmieLicious? It's your cousin Bodacious, come to stalk you again!!!!

Great.





Hide the good stuff!

Originally Posted by ~Bo

Cat?? We have a cat?



Gemmie looooooooves me. I just KNOW it..

As I posted in the thread, I am no longer disillusioned as to what you do and do not know.

[Diva]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Great.





Hide the good stuff!






As I posted in the thread, I am no longer disillusioned as to what you do and do not know.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[~Bo]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Great.





Hide the good stuff!






As I posted in the thread, I am no longer disillusioned as to what you do and do not know.

I know you wuv me.