Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

Sachita · 07-17-2011, 04:21 AM

I think it would be cool if someone made me a pretty flower bed or garden even if small. I think that would impress the shit out of me. I always said I'd marry the person I gardened with.

Rivkeh · 07-17-2011, 04:43 AM

....well,
how do I like to be treated on a date? I'm kind of old fashioned in some ways for instance I like doors being opened for me, and respect is very important, respect for my opinions and general respect. Listening--two way conversations are very attractive, and is care with appearance. Money spent, to me is not so much the issue, it is more about attention to details in a thoughtful way. Of course this is going to be different for everyone, these are just my preferences,
best wishes,
Riv

bigbutchmistie · 07-17-2011, 11:17 AM

Ive had dates with femmes that I have pulled out all the bells and whistles, and I have had dates that was just a simple walk in the park.

For me as a butch I love taking femmes on a simple date. Just a picnic lunch in the botanical gardens, or sitting on the shores of the lake looking up at the stars. So many different things. Its during those tiimes that you really get to know one another.

Give me a femme that likes those kinds of dates

julieisafemme · 07-17-2011, 12:23 PM

Great thread Drew. I think I will answer as a woman or just a person and not a femme if that is ok. Eveyone is so different!

My preferences are definitely gendered though. I want to be asked out. I am old fashioned that way.

My first date with Greyson was exactly how I like it. The three things that are important to me are:

Make your intentions clear
Listen and act accordingly
None of the typical courting games

Grey and I met at a dance. We talked a lot that night and he listened carefully. The next morning I had an e-mail from him asking me out. He made it clear it was a date. I had told him how important my faith was to me and he got tickets to a Jewish music festival. He took me to sushi which he knew I loved. I don't want a fancy dinner on a first date!! I was so nervous I barely ate anything!!

He took me home and we talked and he was honest with me about his intentions and made it clear what he wanted. I really appreciated that.

He called me the next day and every day thereafter!! No games. No wondering. Just clear consistent communication.

As far as the gifts go I would not like to receive a gift from someone until we were pretty far along. Gifts are very personal. But!!! As someone else mentioned don't show up empty handed if you are invited to someone's home for dinner.

Invictus · 07-17-2011, 07:07 PM

Ladies, if I may...

A gentleman is a gentleman is a gentleman.

If one may assume, that the "first date" is not the first meeting, then letting the gentleman plan the date without any consideration is less than acceptable. As I may only speak for myself, a "first date" may include dinner and a show. I live in Las Vegas. I would need to take into consideration the lady's preference before planning where to dine, and shows that she may have already attended, show she would care to see, and shows she has no desire to see. Nothing will ruin an evening more than when presenting the tickets than hearing, "Yes, this is a wonderful production, I saw it last week!"

Please do not race me to the door, I will open them for you. Allow me to be the gentleman that I am.

Please conduct yourself like a lady, which should go without being said, but included due to past dating disasters.

One never gets a second chance to make a good impression on a first date.

Mister Bent · 07-17-2011, 07:39 PM

My favorite date includes a tour of the Lower East Side's finest graffiti and sex in the back of cab.

Nina · 07-17-2011, 07:54 PM

I consider myself a Lady...I use my own definition of that word, as I do many words...I am unsure I could meet, or want to meet, a definition which included the rejoinder that I "conduct yourself like a lady"...that to Me, and this is all a me-me-me commentary, feels more like being spoken to like a petulant, misbehaving little-girl...

since I Am a Lady I really don't need to be told how to conduct myself...

I will assume that my interpretation of the comment is wrong and chalk it up to my intrinsic problems understanding the sophisticated and complicated courting rituals shared between gentlemen and ladies...

I do SO love NinaLand where all things make sense to me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Invictus

Ladies, if I may...

A gentleman is a gentleman is a gentleman.

Please conduct yourself like a lady, which should go without being said, but included due to past dating disasters.

One never gets a second chance to make a good impression on a first date.

Soon · 07-17-2011, 08:12 PM

I liked that Invi would take into consideration the woman's preferences in the planning of a date.

Invi,

I do take issues (as you can tell I am sure, so do others) with the whole, "Please conduct yourself as ladies" comment.

Perhaps you will clarify what you meant as it is a bit archaic and belittling.

Softly · 07-17-2011, 08:13 PM

1st date (couple years ago) ended with me taking my pants off and asking her to watch me.

she fell in love and stuck around.

I am SUCH a lady.

(I was informed that I scared the hell out of her that night, but not that much apparently)

FOR ME - there are no rules.
Just have fun and do what you want to do.
The best way to get to know someone is to be yourself.

oh - do not get me flowers. I have allergy triggered asthma and will be busting out my inhaler and THAT is not too sexy

Invictus · 07-17-2011, 08:23 PM

I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent.

Perhaps I should have provided some of the more noteworthy disasters...

The dinner plate is not meant to serve as storage for chewing gum, which by the way was "re-used", also, it is not an ashtray.

Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner.

I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it.

Public casual dining does not include Miller Beer pajama bottoms and a Winni the Pooh night shirt.

Again, I regret having offended anyone.

BullDog · 07-17-2011, 07:51 PM

I once dated a femme that I first met through an online classified site. We corresponded for a bit. There was a femme tea happening and I told her about it and she decided she wanted to go so I got her in touch with a femme friend. Some of us butches went out somewhere and then all of us met at First Thursday (art galleries open up for public viewing) to look at the art.

That night she asked if I wanted to date her. I was so happy!

. She was a native Portlander and I was still relatively new to the city, so she often did suggest things and showed me lots of things in Portland. It was fun.

I do like to ask a femme out and to plan a date, but I certainly don't mind being the one asked either.

hpychick · 07-17-2011, 07:52 PM

Treat me with respect in all ways, just as I would treat the other person.

07-17-2011, 04:21 AM	#1
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,992 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I think it would be cool if someone made me a pretty flower bed or garden even if small. I think that would impress the shit out of me. I always said I'd marry the person I gardened with. __________________ You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else. ~ Daniel Franzese

07-17-2011, 04:43 AM	#2
Rivkeh Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: In formal settings...Miss Relationship Status: Wrapped up with a Shiny Red Bow Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 221 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 211 Thanked 447 Times in 127 Posts Rep Power: 3852911	....well, how do I like to be treated on a date? I'm kind of old fashioned in some ways for instance I like doors being opened for me, and respect is very important, respect for my opinions and general respect. Listening--two way conversations are very attractive, and is care with appearance. Money spent, to me is not so much the issue, it is more about attention to details in a thoughtful way. Of course this is going to be different for everyone, these are just my preferences, best wishes, Riv __________________ -Rivkeh-

07-17-2011, 07:39 PM	#6
Mister Bent Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 2,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,151 Thanked 5,824 Times in 1,722 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	good thing I don't date ladies My favorite date includes a tour of the Lower East Side's finest graffiti and sex in the back of cab. __________________ Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

07-17-2011, 07:51 PM	#11
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,635 Times in 4,461 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I once dated a femme that I first met through an online classified site. We corresponded for a bit. There was a femme tea happening and I told her about it and she decided she wanted to go so I got her in touch with a femme friend. Some of us butches went out somewhere and then all of us met at First Thursday (art galleries open up for public viewing) to look at the art. That night she asked if I wanted to date her. I was so happy! . She was a native Portlander and I was still relatively new to the city, so she often did suggest things and showed me lots of things in Portland. It was fun. I do like to ask a femme out and to plan a date, but I certainly don't mind being the one asked either. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

07-17-2011, 07:52 PM	#12
hpychick Member How Do You Identify?: Feminine with a hammer Preferred Pronoun?: Girly Stuff Relationship Status: Jesse's Girl. She asked! I said yes! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minneapolis! Or as I like to call it - Many Happiness! Posts: 1,364 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,387 Thanked 1,417 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 15817346	Treat me with respect in all ways, just as I would treat the other person. __________________ *~~greeting the world one cup of coffee at a time~~* http://www.waterfyi.com/wp-content/u...nn-300x168.jpg

07-17-2011, 11:17 AM	#3
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Ive had dates with femmes that I have pulled out all the bells and whistles, and I have had dates that was just a simple walk in the park. For me as a butch I love taking femmes on a simple date. Just a picnic lunch in the botanical gardens, or sitting on the shores of the lake looking up at the stars. So many different things. Its during those tiimes that you really get to know one another. Give me a femme that likes those kinds of dates

07-17-2011, 12:23 PM	#4
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Great thread Drew. I think I will answer as a woman or just a person and not a femme if that is ok. Eveyone is so different! My preferences are definitely gendered though. I want to be asked out. I am old fashioned that way. My first date with Greyson was exactly how I like it. The three things that are important to me are: Make your intentions clear Listen and act accordingly None of the typical courting games Grey and I met at a dance. We talked a lot that night and he listened carefully. The next morning I had an e-mail from him asking me out. He made it clear it was a date. I had told him how important my faith was to me and he got tickets to a Jewish music festival. He took me to sushi which he knew I loved. I don't want a fancy dinner on a first date!! I was so nervous I barely ate anything!! He took me home and we talked and he was honest with me about his intentions and made it clear what he wanted. I really appreciated that. He called me the next day and every day thereafter!! No games. No wondering. Just clear consistent communication. As far as the gifts go I would not like to receive a gift from someone until we were pretty far along. Gifts are very personal. But!!! As someone else mentioned don't show up empty handed if you are invited to someone's home for dinner.

07-17-2011, 07:07 PM	#5
Invictus Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 140 Thanked 344 Times in 165 Posts Rep Power: 1681236	Ladies, if I may... A gentleman is a gentleman is a gentleman. If one may assume, that the "first date" is not the first meeting, then letting the gentleman plan the date without any consideration is less than acceptable. As I may only speak for myself, a "first date" may include dinner and a show. I live in Las Vegas. I would need to take into consideration the lady's preference before planning where to dine, and shows that she may have already attended, show she would care to see, and shows she has no desire to see. Nothing will ruin an evening more than when presenting the tickets than hearing, "Yes, this is a wonderful production, I saw it last week!" Please do not race me to the door, I will open them for you. Allow me to be the gentleman that I am. Please conduct yourself like a lady, which should go without being said, but included due to past dating disasters. One never gets a second chance to make a good impression on a first date.

07-17-2011, 08:12 PM	#8
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,093 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I liked that Invi would take into consideration the woman's preferences in the planning of a date. Invi, I do take issues (as you can tell I am sure, so do others) with the whole, "Please conduct yourself as ladies" comment. Perhaps you will clarify what you meant as it is a bit archaic and belittling.

07-17-2011, 08:13 PM	#9
Softly Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 655 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 465 Thanked 701 Times in 253 Posts Rep Power: 3646037	1st date (couple years ago) ended with me taking my pants off and asking her to watch me. she fell in love and stuck around. I am SUCH a lady. (I was informed that I scared the hell out of her that night, but not that much apparently) FOR ME - there are no rules. Just have fun and do what you want to do. The best way to get to know someone is to be yourself. oh - do not get me flowers. I have allergy triggered asthma and will be busting out my inhaler and THAT is not too sexy

07-17-2011, 08:23 PM	#10
Invictus Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 140 Thanked 344 Times in 165 Posts Rep Power: 1681236	I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent. Perhaps I should have provided some of the more noteworthy disasters... The dinner plate is not meant to serve as storage for chewing gum, which by the way was "re-used", also, it is not an ashtray. Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner. I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it. Public casual dining does not include Miller Beer pajama bottoms and a Winni the Pooh night shirt. Again, I regret having offended anyone.