Second Chances?

Chazz · 07-21-2011, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by proximitywithoutintimacy

It's not looking good, over here

I tried opening up to her, telling her how much I really do love her, and am working on myself... she said she is here to support me, but just as my friend, and that she feels like she had to change to become perfect for me.

Now, this is not the case, as I love her for exactly who she is - nothing more, nothing less. However, my fears and insecurities took over and led her to believe that she was never good enough for me

Funny thing is, everyone I talk to, seems to believe that if the feelings were in fact, genuine and honest, that time and space is going to help heal because we're both in very vulnerable states of mind. Talking to her may feel like running my head into a brick wall right now, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's suddenly over me - she's protecting herself?

Gah, I don't know. I just feel like we had something too beautiful to just throw away like this, and that [B

Sorry for the incessant rambling...

If what you did was "was awful - but not unforgivable?", you owe her time to heal. You are obliged to accept the consequences of your behavior, and the final outcome of her decisions.

You are not entitled to impatience; you do not have the "right" to pressure her. Chances are the "awful" behavior was based in ego-centricism and impulsiveness. It won't do to replicate that behavior now.

Perhaps the best thing for you to be focusing on right now, is why you sabotaged the relationship in the first place. And, why you so totally discounted her feeling to do, what you did, in the first place.

After all, this situation was caused by your behavior, not hers. Seems like you're focusing on her reactions to your behavior more than your behavior, itself. That seems like a reversal of the order of things to me.

proximitywithoutintimacy · 07-24-2011, 06:50 PM

Okay. Thank you all for taking time to talk to me. I'm sorry for kinda treating this thread as an emotional journal of sorts. That was not my intention and I do know what I need to do. I appreciate you all sharing your thoughts. I think we can all agree that, well, relationships are hard.

ruffryder · 07-26-2011, 11:42 PM

I hope you are okay. Things happen for a reason and it will all work out how it is supposed to. Have faith in that and believe it and you will be happy with whatever happens. (:

Quintease · 07-27-2011, 03:43 AM

Maybe this woman isn't the right one for you. Maybe she is merely the right one to force you to acknowledge your flaws, the ones which are holding you back from a healthy relationship?

She has stepped back now, perhaps for good. It may well be that the best thing you can do right now is to accept the friendship she is offering and expect nothing more. Some mistakes are not unforgivable, but they take more than an apology and good intentions to rectify.

Good luck on your journey x

proximitywithoutintimacy · 10-19-2011, 03:14 AM

I let her go; if she is no longer happy with me, then I wish her happiness in all her endeavors. First time I've ever let someone go - kind of proud of myself, because all the other times I've been selfish. This girl sure changed my life in many ways.

If she comes back into my life, it'll be because she was supposed to. If not, life will go on for both of us

It's been nearly three months since we've spoken, and although I still love her, I am moving on and focusing on myself

Second chances, if and when they do happen, come to those who know they're worth the wait, not those who cry, plead, beg and scream and render themselves a wreck

xoxo.

07-27-2011, 03:43 AM	#4
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	Maybe this woman isn't the right one for you. Maybe she is merely the right one to force you to acknowledge your flaws, the ones which are holding you back from a healthy relationship? She has stepped back now, perhaps for good. It may well be that the best thing you can do right now is to accept the friendship she is offering and expect nothing more. Some mistakes are not unforgivable, but they take more than an apology and good intentions to rectify. Good luck on your journey x __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

07-24-2011, 06:50 PM	#2
proximitywithoutintimacy Member How Do You Identify?: Rocker Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: That One Girl ;) Relationship Status: Putting My Heart Back Together Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: USA Posts: 175 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 141 Thanked 290 Times in 106 Posts Rep Power: 670282	Okay. Thank you all for taking time to talk to me. I'm sorry for kinda treating this thread as an emotional journal of sorts. That was not my intention and I do know what I need to do. I appreciate you all sharing your thoughts. I think we can all agree that, well, relationships are hard.

07-26-2011, 11:42 PM	#3
ruffryder Senior Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: guy ones Relationship Status: ... Join Date: May 2011 Location: chillin' in FL Posts: 3,690 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,951 Thanked 9,680 Times in 2,875 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I hope you are okay. Things happen for a reason and it will all work out how it is supposed to. Have faith in that and believe it and you will be happy with whatever happens. (:

10-19-2011, 03:14 AM	#5
proximitywithoutintimacy Member How Do You Identify?: Rocker Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: That One Girl ;) Relationship Status: Putting My Heart Back Together Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: USA Posts: 175 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 141 Thanked 290 Times in 106 Posts Rep Power: 670282	I let her go; if she is no longer happy with me, then I wish her happiness in all her endeavors. First time I've ever let someone go - kind of proud of myself, because all the other times I've been selfish. This girl sure changed my life in many ways. If she comes back into my life, it'll be because she was supposed to. If not, life will go on for both of us It's been nearly three months since we've spoken, and although I still love her, I am moving on and focusing on myself Second chances, if and when they do happen, come to those who know they're worth the wait, not those who cry, plead, beg and scream and render themselves a wreck xoxo.