When you turn out the lights...

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by deeperstill

Hi people. So, this thing happened yesterday and i would like to check in with folks to see what you think...

i was in a meeting of hets & queers of all kinds (regarding kinky things )
and in response to a question about the role of queer women of color a white dyke said: "when you turn out the lights it's all the same."
And everyone laughed in agreement and moved on.

Does anyone have a reaction they would care to share about this?

thank you

Having a kind of Kalidoscope way of looking at things, I'm not seeing the racist card being played, the card that sticks out the most for me is lumping all lovers in one box.

Not that I have LOADS of experience, but my experiences with any lover always stand out in my memory as being completely unique and different. Makes me wonder out loud how anyone could say "It's all the same". Where ARE YOU when you make love to someone? Doesn't matter whether it's the first or the million-umptenth time you have made love to someone......

The most delicious thing about getting physically intimate with a lover, is learning how your body responds to them and their body responds to YOU. It's always magical for me. In order to be 'truly intimate' with anyone, it helps if you can be 'present' and 'in the moment' when together. Haven't you ever sat with yourself, quietly, alone, re-membering the lover that..... ya, you know what i'm talking about. All the 'same' my Aunt Fannie.... are you breathing in their scent when you make love? focusing on the texture of their skin and suddenly you get a ah! more! reaction? omg noises, a giggle that won't stop? pounding heartbeat in a temple, ankle, back of the knee, tips of the toes pulse point? hearing them say from far away, 'breathe Babe, breathe' followed by a low chuckling, or soprano giggle stiffle?

ALL the same? Not if you are paying attention. Not if you are any kind of lover at all. Each lover is wired up differently. Remember being inexperienced and trying your signature move on a new lover, and they holler !!!!!STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!!!!!! And to your horror you real eyes that this new lover hates your favorite move or position or pressure? And in your head you are going, "OMG, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?????!!!!!!!!".

Ya, been there myself more times than I care to admit.

So next time you reach to turn the lights out, if you dare, don't. Real eyes that each moment can be a magical experience. FOCUS on the moment you are experiencing in this moment..... Remember Cinderella? The only fit HER.

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