In love with my best friend

bigbutchmistie · 07-24-2011, 10:59 AM

Hey I wanna start by saying I totally agree with IamKeri1

I have been in your shoes before. It hurts like hell. But, when you love someone you truly want their happiness even if its not you.

For me, I HAD to tell her. She had to know. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, and she was on my mind all the time. The scent of her perfume the tenderness of her touch although innocently drove me insane. LOL

Even though I knew she was in love with someone else. And she only saw me as a friend. I couldnt help but think, what if??? What if she knew how I felt? Would she see me differently?

So I gathered all the guts I could muster up on night and sat her down looked into those beautiful eyes and told her. She told me she HAD felt the same way but she moved on with her feelings since she never knew I felt the same.. She had begun dating the wonderful butch she is married to now.

While it hurt, that she didnt feel the same anymore. I felt like if it was meant to be it WOULD have been no matter what.

I dont regret telling her. At least she knew, and it relieved me. Now, we are close friends and I am close to her husbutch as well.

So take a chance. You never know how wonderful something could turn out to be. But one thing is for sure. What's meant to be WILL happen.

Best of luck to ya!

I dont regret telling her. One I felt better, and two I could rule her out as the one.

imperfect_cupcake · 07-24-2011, 02:37 PM

I've been there. It took a LONG time to build up the guts to say anything. But when I did it turns out he knew anyway and he felt the same but was really nervous himself. We had sex for three days with short breaks for eating and sleeping. We were together for four and a half years... it just petered out into best friends at the end, partly because I suspected I was gay. We still adore each other and we both finish each others stories and sentences. His partners have gotten jealous over our friendship even though he tells them "but she's GAY".

If B is straight I think you might be worrying for nothing. My best mate is straight and when we lived in the same city we used even take baths together with a cup of coffee each as a make-do hot tub (we always managed to get flats with giant claws feet tubs). I adore her, she's like my sister, I love her very very much. I have had partners get jealous of my relationship with her, which she found hilarious and used to take the piss a bit about it with anyone who did get jealous. She's a bit wicked that way. But I never understood why. Although I love her to smithereens, I would NEVER have a relationship with her, even if she were gay. Not a chance. She'd drive me insane.

You really should tell your friend when you are able to, cause this is going to eat at you until you burst. And what if she started dating someone when you could have asked her first?

Work up to it and do it.

Quintease · 07-24-2011, 03:48 PM

Tell her! Seriously, the worst that can happen is that she could say "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way". It'll hurt, but you knew that anyway.

If you really can't tell her, then don't forget that was your choice. Please don't do what my best friend did and hold it all inside until you can't bear it any more.. The resulting explosion nearly destroyed our friendship, and while we remained friends it was never the same again.

Tell your friend and hope to God her lack of interest will be the key to let you go.

Good luck x

LediskoLove99 · 08-06-2011, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbutchmistie

Hey I wanna start by saying I totally agree with IamKeri1

I have been in your shoes before. It hurts like hell. But, when you love someone you truly want their happiness even if its not you.

For me, I HAD to tell her. She had to know. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, and she was on my mind all the time. The scent of her perfume the tenderness of her touch although innocently drove me insane. LOL

Even though I knew she was in love with someone else. And she only saw me as a friend. I couldnt help but think, what if??? What if she knew how I felt? Would she see me differently?

So I gathered all the guts I could muster up on night and sat her down looked into those beautiful eyes and told her. She told me she HAD felt the same way but she moved on with her feelings since she never knew I felt the same.. She had begun dating the wonderful butch she is married to now.

While it hurt, that she didnt feel the same anymore. I felt like if it was meant to be it WOULD have been no matter what.

I dont regret telling her. At least she knew, and it relieved me. Now, we are close friends and I am close to her husbutch as well.

So take a chance. You never know how wonderful something could turn out to be. But one thing is for sure. What's meant to be WILL happen.

Best of luck to ya!

I dont regret telling her. One I felt better, and two I could rule her out as the one.

Thanks for the advice that sounds like it was a really horrible situation. I feel your pain.

I told her, a little too late. She's dating this girl. SHe just hugged me and said it was ok to feel that way and she loves me. But it hurts especially when I see them so cute and coupley together. But that's ok, I know in the beginning of our friendship she was really attracted to me. So once I move closer to her, I'll just see what happens. It sucks but you never know what can happen.

The_Lady_Snow · 08-06-2011, 12:29 PM

Do you think movíng closer to her is going to change things??

bigbutchmistie · 08-06-2011, 01:45 PM

Nope it doesnt. But that's just my experience...

07-24-2011, 03:48 PM	#3
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	Tell her! Seriously, the worst that can happen is that she could say "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way". It'll hurt, but you knew that anyway. If you really can't tell her, then don't forget that was your choice. Please don't do what my best friend did and hold it all inside until you can't bear it any more.. The resulting explosion nearly destroyed our friendship, and while we remained friends it was never the same again. Tell your friend and hope to God her lack of interest will be the key to let you go. Good luck x __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

08-06-2011, 12:29 PM	#5
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,076 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474875	Do you think movíng closer to her is going to change things?? __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

07-24-2011, 10:59 AM	#1
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hey I wanna start by saying I totally agree with IamKeri1 I have been in your shoes before. It hurts like hell. But, when you love someone you truly want their happiness even if its not you. For me, I HAD to tell her. She had to know. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, and she was on my mind all the time. The scent of her perfume the tenderness of her touch although innocently drove me insane. LOL Even though I knew she was in love with someone else. And she only saw me as a friend. I couldnt help but think, what if??? What if she knew how I felt? Would she see me differently? So I gathered all the guts I could muster up on night and sat her down looked into those beautiful eyes and told her. She told me she HAD felt the same way but she moved on with her feelings since she never knew I felt the same.. She had begun dating the wonderful butch she is married to now. While it hurt, that she didnt feel the same anymore. I felt like if it was meant to be it WOULD have been no matter what. I dont regret telling her. At least she knew, and it relieved me. Now, we are close friends and I am close to her husbutch as well. So take a chance. You never know how wonderful something could turn out to be. But one thing is for sure. What's meant to be WILL happen. Best of luck to ya! I dont regret telling her. One I felt better, and two I could rule her out as the one.

07-24-2011, 02:37 PM	#2
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've been there. It took a LONG time to build up the guts to say anything. But when I did it turns out he knew anyway and he felt the same but was really nervous himself. We had sex for three days with short breaks for eating and sleeping. We were together for four and a half years... it just petered out into best friends at the end, partly because I suspected I was gay. We still adore each other and we both finish each others stories and sentences. His partners have gotten jealous over our friendship even though he tells them "but she's GAY". If B is straight I think you might be worrying for nothing. My best mate is straight and when we lived in the same city we used even take baths together with a cup of coffee each as a make-do hot tub (we always managed to get flats with giant claws feet tubs). I adore her, she's like my sister, I love her very very much. I have had partners get jealous of my relationship with her, which she found hilarious and used to take the piss a bit about it with anyone who did get jealous. She's a bit wicked that way. But I never understood why. Although I love her to smithereens, I would NEVER have a relationship with her, even if she were gay. Not a chance. She'd drive me insane. You really should tell your friend when you are able to, cause this is going to eat at you until you burst. And what if she started dating someone when you could have asked her first? Work up to it and do it.

08-06-2011, 01:45 PM	#6
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Nope it doesnt. But that's just my experience...