Reclaiming Lesbian Pride

[Lynn]

I've come to recognize that my online and earthly worlds do not coincide very often. Individuals and their identities are much more complex than their labels. It doesn't matter if I agree with someone's definitions, as long as they don't impose their views on me.

I'm a lesbian. That is my chief identity as far as describing who attracts me, who I love, and how I view the world. Of course, I have other identities, but they are definitely influenced by my self-view as a lesbian. For me, there is a historical and political perspective that is the context for who I am as a partner, a mother, and a worker. Coming to the point of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and a level of comfort has truly been a challenge. I won't play "your challenges have been greater than mine" game. My challenges have been representative of both the women's community at large, and what the community faced through the 70's and forward, as well as of my own struggles with family and personally. All are valid, and all have paved the way for the triumphs and challenges faced by the next generation.

When I first discovered a butch-femme online community, I was told that I was "a lesbian" not "a femme" so I didn't really belong. I do belong. I am a woman who loves butch women. I don't consider it a label, I consider it a description. Women in my community hate the idea of butch or femme, equating it with role playing or something put on. They don't understand that there is a range of self-expression just as there is a range of personal preferences. As a more feminine woman, I have been told I'm not someone's type more than once. If they can have preferences, so can I.

[msW8ing]

Ok the company I work for is zero tolerence for any kind of harrassment/bashing. It's a huge company with literally thousands of employees across the nation. Very diverse to say the least. So some co-workers (family) and I were having lunch. It just seems that family naturally gravitates to me which is wonderful for me. Anyhow, one of the young uns can't be more than 21 looks at me and asked just so matter of factly..And how do you identify? I'm sure I had that confuzzled look I returned the question to her..although she was boi-ish looking I was curious..with Kobi's thread in mind..she stalled for a second and proudly stated she was andro. I said ok..she asked again how I ID. I said I'm a lesbian. She chuckled and said she figured that much out but what kind. I said female lesbian. She looked to be confuzzled..the older lesbians sitting at the table were giggling because they "got" it..the young un still confuzzled. I asked patiently..do you know what a lesbian is? The young un said well yes..it's a woman who likes women. I said yes thats part of the definition. Then one of the older lesbians jumped upon her soap box and went into a 15 minute lecture of what a lesbian truly is (in her opinion)..the poor young un seemed even more confused. I asked her if she had any questions..she said still looking Umm no not right now. I said well feel free to ask all you need to but know that each lesbian/gay/queer you ask that question to you are most likely to get a different answer. Shaking her head she mumbled something about having so much to learn..I smiled patted her hand and said yep and I'm more than double your age and am still learning each day. Just thought I'd share this little story. Kind of an insight to how one young un thinks.

[NJFemmie]

I've never been one to get involved in the politics of it all. I never used to "identify" myself until I started to get more involved online. As far as identifying, I never used to feel I had to. I find that when you become more involved in specifically identifying yourself and who you are, the more you seem to have to defend it - and I have never felt a need to explain myself. I am who I am, and that person changes every day in various ways ... yet, one aspect of the many things I am is a woman who loves a woman. And with that, you can call it whatever you want. I call it my bliss.

[Kobi]

Sometimes I wonder if all the words we use to define our identities are a necessity or just a marketing strategy gone wonkie.

It might be kind of cool to have a job as an "identity consultant" or an "identity strategist" or maybe an "identity reconfiguration specialist".

I was kidding but now that I think about, there may be some possibilities here.

[msW8ing]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Sometimes I wonder if all the words we use to define our identities are a necessity or just a marketing strategy gone wonkie.

It might be kind of cool to have a job as an "identity consultant" or an "identity strategist" or maybe an "identity reconfiguration specialist".

I was kidding but now that I think about, there may be some possibilities here.

Put your office nextdoor to my bakery.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by MsW8ing

Put your office nextdoor to my bakery.

Can I put my office inside the bakery? And do you plan on making those twisted cruellers at your bakery? I miss those.

[msW8ing]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Can I put my office inside the bakery? And do you plan on making those twisted cruellers at your bakery? I miss those.

For you, I would bake anything your heart desires. And yes you can put your office inside the bakery

[*Anya*]

I have lived through many twists and turns in my life to accept my sexual orientation. Women, in all shapes and sizes turn me on.

Femmes turn on the nuturing, connecting, sharing, laughing, common bonds, sisterhood; part of me. I can easily chat with lesbian femmes and feel totally comfortable with them.

Femme is my gender identity.

I am sexually attracted to female, lesbian butches. They just do it for me. When I see or meet a butch lesbian and all that ability I have with my femme lesbian sisters, goes right out the window. My heart begins to pound, my stomach goes into knots, my mind goes blank and I am as though I have been struck as mute. I am sure I have blown it many times by appearing as though I am an idiot. The sexual charge for me is so great, it overpowers my ability to think, talk or flirt.

How am I with bio men? Just like with my femme sisters as far as ease and comfort. Why? They hold zero sexual attraction for me.

I am a lesbian femme.