Butches Cruel Joke?? *The Change*

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Physically... I say yes... we all go through it basically the same...

Mentally... Hell NO

That's what I said Strap. I absolutely know ya'll go through it psychologically in worse ways. I wish it was easier. i wish for all those that it is not easier that they may find some piece of mind, people around that can find empathy, and if they have a current love that that lover can wrap all the love and support they can muster around their partner.

I have ALWAYS told Cruel, "You are strong for me always. On the days when you are not at your strongest let me love you better/stronger."

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by jelli

That's what I said Strap. I absolutely know ya'll go through it psychologically in worse ways. I wish it was easier. i wish for all those that it is not easier that they may find some piece of mind, people around that can find empathy, and if they have a current love that that lover can wrap all the love and support they can muster around their partner.

I have ALWAYS told Cruel, "You are strong for me always. On the days when you are not at your strongest let me love you better/stronger."

And that is great you have the support of your partner... I am single, My friends here don't understand the B/F dynamic (they try) or what butch really means to me (we have talked about it many times) but trully they don't fully understand it.

So for your partner who has someone that can understand it fully what they are going through I am grateful they have that support!

For me, I go it alone....

[Medusa]

Strappie -

I know that going to the DR can be incredibly uncomfortable and scary but sweetie, PLEASE go. It is SO important to get those regular checkups so that you can be alerted to abnormal bloodwork or Cancerous cells. Please do this for yourself.

I think I understand what you are saying about how the experience feels different to a Butch. You and I may have the same plumbing but my OBGYN is used to seeing women like me in the chair every day - I can imagine that the experience of being a Butch person and going through the same thing can feel really triggery or unsafe. I think this is especially true of Butches who do not feel especially connected to that part of their body.

Get to the Doctor! Take a Sisterfriend or hell, make an appointment here in Little Rock and get a Butch buddy to go with you during the Reunion. Hell, make a field trip out of it and get a BUNCH of Butch buddies to go. This is necessary for your health and sanity and the people who love you want you to be healthy dammit!

I support you!

[Strappie]

Yes. the Doctor is in the works.. Finding one that "fits" for me and that I feel safe with is a very important thing. I don't have a primary doctor since my move up to the twin cities about 11 yrs ago so it is time I step up and take my health seriously and swallow my pride and get checked out. I started me research in finding one this weekend.

Thank you Medusa your words mean a lot!

[Glenn]

I dunno Strappie, I am male id and did'nt or don't cry like you and all that. Menopause, (hot flashes) and all, just came and went. I did'nt feel anything else different.

[atomiczombie]

It's different for everyone. I was supposed to go through it after my radical hysterectomy, but I didn't feel any hot flashes or emotional stuff at all. And I refused to take the estrogen patches they gave me at the time. I am sorry your body is reacting that way, and good lawd I understand how hard it is as a masculine person with a female body to go to an ob/gyn and have them poke around at you. However, what Medusa said is a good idea: have a friend go with you for moral support. I am sending positive energy your way bud.

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

I dunno Strappie, I am male id and did'nt or don't cry like you and all that. Menopause, (hot flashes) and all, just came and went. I did'nt feel anything.

You are very lucky!! It's no cake walk.. lol

[christie]

Scrappie -

Jess and I have had recent conversations about menopause because I think (and I am certain Jess does too, however much in denial she may be) that its knockin' on Jess' door. Emotions all over the place and chugging away in the middle of the night like the lil heater that could. You might say that our bed has become a baptismal of sorts - and this aint the usual "girl watering the world" happy adult funtime kinda way!

I know that Jess moves through the world differently and the monthly cycle is at the top of the list. All I can say is that Medusa is spot on about seeing a doctor and knowing that you have kindred spirits here. If you need to put a positive spin on it, at least this is the beginning of the end for periods!

(BTW, as a smoker (not sure if you have been able to quit - I think you were trying?) - traditional HRC (hormone replacement therapy) is probably not a good fit for you. I don't claim to be a doctor, but I have had a stroke and that coupled with smoking, HRC will not be an option for me. Its my understanding that its not recommended for smokers, but I could be wrong. Please work with your doctor to find a treatment plan that is best for you!)

Hang in there, stock up on kleenex, take up driving golf balls (great for those surges in anger), invest in that fan and most of all, be kind to yourself - cut yourself some slack.

Much big gay love to you!

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by christie0918

Scrappie -

Jess and I have had recent conversations about menopause because I think (and I am certain Jess does too, however much in denial she may be) that its knockin' on Jess' door. Emotions all over the place and chugging away in the middle of the night like the lil heater that could. You might say that our bed has become a baptismal of sorts - and this aint the usual "girl watering the world" happy adult funtime kinda way!

I know that Jess moves through the world differently and the monthly cycle is at the top of the list. All I can say is that Medusa is spot on about seeing a doctor and knowing that you have kindred spirits here. If you need to put a positive spin on it, at least this is the beginning of the end for periods!

(BTW, as a smoker (not sure if you have been able to quit - I think you were trying?) - traditional HRC (hormone replacement therapy) is probably not a good fit for you. I don't claim to be a doctor, but I have had a stroke and that coupled with smoking, HRC will not be an option for me. Its my understanding that its not recommended for smokers, but I could be wrong. Please work with your doctor to find a treatment plan that is best for you!)

Hang in there, stock up on kleenex, take up driving golf balls (great for those surges in anger), invest in that fan and most of all, be kind to yourself - cut yourself some slack.

Much big gay love to you!

Thank you Christie... yes I am going to go to the Doctor as much as I hate to think about them down there in that way.. I am going

((hugs)) to Jess!

I wasn't trying to make this about ME... I wanted to find out how they went through it or how they are going through it and the mental games it plays with them... Kind of a support so to speak for all of us...

[Just_G]

I get what you are saying Strappie! Even though I have had a hysto, I still have those little ovaries and they fuck with my hormonal levels, my mood, and good god, the hotflashes are HELL!!

A lot of women I know joke around about "the change", and it's not something I talk about with them when they are all talking about it. It's like you said, I am going through puberty all over again....when all the girls were getting their periods, they all talked openly about it and I was wanting to run and hide because it made me uncomfortable. Same deal really.

I just don't like relating to anything....ANYTHING that has to do with female stuff....I have never even liked saying I am female. Checking the F box instead of M box kills me...let alone talking about hormones and hotflashes!!


You can always call me if you need to vent or cry....though it might make me cry....it could get ugly...lol

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Just_G

I get what you are saying Strappie! Even though I have had a hysto, I still have those little ovaries and they fuck with my hormonal levels, my mood, and good god, the hotflashes are HELL!!

A lot of women I know joke around about "the change", and it's not something I talk about with them when they are all talking about it. It's like you said, I am going through puberty all over again....when all the girls were getting their periods, they all talked openly about it and I was wanting to run and hide because it made me uncomfortable. Same deal really.

I just don't like relating to anything....ANYTHING that has to do with female stuff....I have never even liked saying I am female. Checking the F box instead of M box kills me...let alone talking about hormones and hotflashes!!


You can always call me if you need to vent or cry....though it might make me cry....it could get ugly...lol

Dude... jesus if this doesn't get in check we may be crying all the way to Little Rock... God help me.. it's NOT going to be like last year!! That was the start of it... and it will be the END of it!!

Thanks buddy I can always count on you!!

It is hard to relate to certain things as a butch in a female sense.

[Sparx1_1]

I totally get what you mean Strappie. I'm female id'd, but there are still some days when it's a mind fuck for me too.
I don't think it's stereotyping to say that for butches the closer to male you are the bigger the mind fuck when it comes to menopause.
When I'm having a "butch" day with my menopause I just try to think of it as an annoying but non-fatal medical condition and make every effort to ignore the rest of it lol.

It helps if you can remember that menopause and chocolate are best friends

[Turtle]

Hey Strappie,

I was hangin out before class with a transman friend of mine. We were watching a dance group perform and we were both crying. I said, "I've had a really bad day" and he said "I have my period." :-l Just sayin...

[Dutch Leonard]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I think it is different for everyone. My periods got irregular and then they stopped. The doctor didn't suggest taking hormones and I was glad- taking estrogen would be the last thing I would want to do. I didn't notice any change in my emotions although my libido did increase quite a bit, leading me to join some dating type sites.

I would add my voice to those encouraging you to see the doctor. I loathe the pelvic exam and was able to get a pass on it this year by emphasizing that I don't have sex with men. All my previous pap smears have been normal so it is safe to skip it now and then.

I hope you find a good doctor you are comfortable with. That is worth a lot. And there might be some herbal remedies that can give you some relief from the symptoms?

[JoSchmooze]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Dude... jesus if this doesn't get in check we may be crying all the way to Little Rock... God help me.. it's NOT going to be like last year!! That was the start of it... and it will be the END of it!!

Thanks buddy I can always count on you!!

It is hard to relate to certain things as a butch in a female sense.

I hear ya and I know exactly what you are going through....
I can't watch much TV these days without crying for something or the other. Just know that there is an end to it eventually. I had a hysto almost 20 yrs ago but that one ovary left keeps chugging along and messing with my head.

If nothing else, try and regulate your sleep. Getting rest in between the
bouts of everything seems to help.

See you in Little Rock!!

[musicman]

I had to smile when I read you ssy you couldn't say the words Menstrual Cycle lol lol. I on the other hand start to get the shakes when I go down the female monthly hygiene aisle. Hell when it isn't my time of month when grocery shopping I don't even want to look down that aisle lol lol. I try to hide the pads in the grocery cart and cringe when I have to take them out of the cart to go through the clerk at the register.

As for going to the "women doctor" never been , can't get me to make an appointment and certainly not going to walk through the doors and sit in the waiting area with all the "femmes" looking at this guy sitting there.

I feel for you Strappie. Fingers crossed I don't get the change too bad lol lol lol. Life is certainly interesting.

Musicman

[Just_G]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Dude... jesus if this doesn't get in check we may be crying all the way to Little Rock... God help me.. it's NOT going to be like last year!! That was the start of it... and it will be the END of it!!

Thanks buddy I can always count on you!!

It is hard to relate to certain things as a butch in a female sense.

Cheech is going to wonder what the hell is going on...unless of course, he is traveling with the devil too! Do you have kleenex in your car or shall I go to Costco and buy a case?!

[sharkchomp]

Yeah I hear ya Strappie. I'm male id'ed so it's certainly a head trip. I have found myself looking at situations differently than I used to - and damn I hope this passes. I used to see a situation and this is this and that is that, attack it, fix it, whatever. But I've noticed in the last year or so that I'm reacting to things on a more emotional level. Then again this past year has been very very stressful for me. So, shrug, I dunno. Maybe it's my way of handling the stress - or my inability or my hormones going crazy. What is killing me is the damned hot flashes. I'll be at work - not exerting myself and BAM I'm sweating. Is it hot in there or is it a hot flash?????? And at night, I'm sweating, throwing covers off like it's Christmas morning and then I'm freezing! The good thing is my monthly's are almost gone - and that is a realllllly good thing!

Hang in there yall!
~~~shark~~~~~~~

[Toughy]

It's a perfectly natural thing to happen. All my butch friends and I have talked about and still talk about it with great humor. None of us find it embarrassing or any kind of specially cruel joke for butches. One of my favorite conversations occurred outside The Stud one evening. over a cigarette. 4 of us stone cold passing butches (the old terminology) were talking about menopause. We said all the words and were all waiting for the day it all ends. War stories about dripping wet sheets, which movies made us cry the most, etc went on for about 20 or so minutes. I have talked about it with my femme friends who are experiencing the same things.

I haven't bleed in almost 30 years, had my cervix & uterus removed but they left my fine healthy ovaries. So about 10 years ago, the ovaries did their natural slowdown and those wonderful symptoms appeared.

I cried at stupid commercials on TV and steamed up car windows with hot flashes. The crying slowed down, but the hot flashes were like 50 a day and sleeping with me was like being in a steamy jungle. The hot flashes did not stop until I completely permanently stopped drinking alcohol....it took about a month. In the last couple of three years I might have had 3 or four hot flashes.

I turned 59 in June and now that menopause is over.....well that makes me a crone. Another phase in my born butch woman life.

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Just_G

Cheech is going to wonder what the hell is going on...unless of course, he is traveling with the devil too! Do you have kleenex in your car or shall I go to Costco and buy a case?!

Dude I think the case at Costco is in order! lol Na hopefully they can cure me or at least get it in check by then.. I'm praying!!