Under 30 - Coming Up and Coming Out

AlphaDrug · 08-12-2011, 05:39 AM

The younger crowd here isn't very large or active I take it... I'm 22, and I'm afraid I'm one of the babies here... I didn't even know I COULD like girls till I was a freshman in highschool, 8 years ago, I was blessed with the best group of friends a girl could ask for, the indi/goth outsider kids who were accepting of everything. I did the whole straight to bisexual to gay thing.

I'd met my first and only boyfriend the summer before high school, dated him for two years, the entire time I had a crush on my best friend Crystal, shes the one who gets the gold toaster, I learned from her that it was okay to like girls and normal, so 2 years down the road I wasn't happy with my boyfriend, I went to prom with Crys and told him that there was a chance I might experiment with her that night, he jokingly just said to take video... I laugh at that now but originally it pissed me off.

I slept with my best friend that night and was smitten, it was insane and everything I'd been looking for. From there I declared I was bisexual... never dated a guy again so it evolved into comfortably telling people I was gay.

My coming out story to my parents is... interesting... and not how I'd planned it. Haha! If you want to hear that one just ask. XD I don't have much time and have to leave for work soon.

My favorite campaign that happened recently was the IT GETS BETTER thing that all the celebrities did, still thinking about it makes me tear up, because if I hadn't had the support of my friends in high school I'd have had a much harder time coming out. Luckily for me as well live really close to DC, so everything is pretty diverse and accepting to begin with, not a small town kind of girl.

wolfbittenpoet · 08-12-2011, 06:33 AM

Heya Alpha. There's a growing youth pop around here we just are stealthy. Like cats...
erm not housecats.

AlphaDrug · 08-12-2011, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbittenpoet

Heya Alpha. There's a growing youth pop around here we just are stealthy. Like cats...
erm not housecats.

Aww awesome. I love cats. Hahaha. ^_^

...and where'd you get the cookies? o.o

wolfbittenpoet · 08-12-2011, 03:51 PM

The darkside....
It's any side not currently in front of you.

stepfordfemme · 08-12-2011, 04:20 PM

We young'uns are here! It has always seemed to me that people my age seem to embrace the queer but not the butch-femme dynamic.

I'm 26, and I've know for a very long time, but I went through many phases before embracing my full fabulous femme self.

Just wanted to say hi and welcome!

I also love the itgetsbetter campaign. I think the under 30s have been really blessed with a lot of acceptance and a generation that is open to change.

EnderD_503 · 08-12-2011, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbittenpoet

Heya Alpha. There's a growing youth pop around here we just are stealthy. Like cats...
erm not housecats.

...yes, we're more like alley cats. Leaping stealthily through the darkness, from roof top to roof top.

Anyways, yeah...cool to see other under 30 people around these parts. But now you just have to fucking stick around! I swear other than like 3 or 4 of us, every under 30 person who comes here leaves after a day or two.

AlphaDrug · 08-12-2011, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

...yes, we're more like alley cats. Leaping stealthily through the darkness, from roof top to roof top.

Anyways, yeah...cool to see other under 30 people around these parts. But now you just have to fucking stick around! I swear other than like 3 or 4 of us, every under 30 person who comes here leaves after a day or two.

Naaaah... I'm a big dork. I like my forums and blogs and such. I'll be around for a while. But I feel like we need more threads... not sure what kind of threads though. lol

EnderD_503 · 08-13-2011, 06:38 AM

Well, I pretty much suck at making threads, so I'm the wrong person to suggest thread ideas. But I agree that we need more threads in this section, for sure.

Holly.88 · 08-13-2011, 10:02 AM

I've been butch since the day I was born. My earliest memories are of running around outside in my Levis, bare feet, and no shirt. Man, those were good times!

When my twin and I started school we went to a private Catholic school because it was "the best school around." We weren't even Catholic. Every Thursday morning we all had church together, and I can remember being five years old, kneeling with my hands folded and eyes shut tight, praying my heart out that God would make me a boy so I wouldn't be a sinner anymore and would be normal.

The summer before my senior year of high school I met my first girlfriend. I came out to all my friends the first day of senior year and I was lucky enough to have some pretty great friends.

Over the years I've become more comfortable with who I am and I make no excuses or apologies for that. I am one self confident, proud, and open southern boi and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.

AlphaDrug · 08-13-2011, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly.88

I've been butch since the day I was born. My earliest memories are of running around outside in my Levis, bare feet, and no shirt. Man, those were good times!

When my twin and I started school we went to a private Catholic school because it was "the best school around." We weren't even Catholic. Every Thursday morning we all had church together, and I can remember being five years old, kneeling with my hands folded and eyes shut tight, praying my heart out that God would make me a boy so I wouldn't be a sinner anymore and would be normal.

The summer before my senior year of high school I met my first girlfriend. I came out to all my friends the first day of senior year and I was lucky enough to have some pretty great friends.

Over the years I've become more comfortable with who I am and I make no excuses or apologies for that. I am one self confident, proud, and open southern boi and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.

...where can I find one of you up north!? Haha. Butches are a rare commodity apparently... especially in our generation.

Red-Dragon · 12-20-2011, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaDrug

Naaaah... I'm a big dork. I like my forums and blogs and such. I'll be around for a while. But I feel like we need more threads... not sure what kind of threads though. lol

i read through on these things i just dont post. and yeah gotta agree more threads like these. plus alpha the "babies" as u said are around lol (i just go off and on this site cause of work) <<is not stealthy just knows how to do the hudini trick and disappear

AlexHunter · 01-19-2012, 03:33 PM

For me, the realization of being gay was a part of something bigger: gender dysphoria.

I always felt, well, male. When I was two, I asked my mom when I was going to grow a penis. Throughout my childhood, I had my hair as short as my mother would let me have it, dressed like a boy, played with the boys, and liked girls. It wasn't anything complicated back then; "boy" things felt "right" and "girl" things didn't.

My parents had a collection of old movies. I loved watching them and strongly identified with the leading male characters. I wanted to be a gentleman with a pretty lady on my arm.

I had my first memorable girl crush in first grade. We went trick or treating together. I was a big, scary vampire and she wanted to dress as a princess. I told her Halloween was supposed to be scary, so the princess idea was lame. She compromised and decided to be a zombie princess, instead.

I lost my virginity (to a girl) at thirteen. I had sex with several girls throughout high school, though my first serious girlfriend was not until senior year. I also enjoyed looking up porn with guys in it (had to be man and woman, though, I didn't care for the gay stuff), which briefly made me wonder if I was attracted to them, in addition to girls. I decided to explore something sexual with a guy and quickly realized I was disgusted by it. I just had a bad case of penis envy.

I never had to "come out." Everyone assumed. I was dead set on transitioning until I was 20 (I'm 28 now). I toyed around with several labels before I found out what was comfortable for me. I didn't want to claim butch status at first because I thought it was a term for "lesbians." The butch-identified people I knew were (in hindsight) either woman ID'd or soft butch (nothing wrong with either, but it's not me.) I read about "stone butch" and went by that for awhile. I am not 100% stone anymore but that is another story. For the last few years, I've claimed butch and genderqueer.

1ladyface · 01-27-2012, 01:22 AM

Hi All,

My ex and good friend is blogging for

originalplumbing.com

from jail, via letters to me. His first post went up today. I think of the OP community as really supportive but there have been two nasty comments on his blog post, both of which are based on inaccurate and unfounded assumptions.

He is blogging to share his experiences, connect with other trans folks struggling with substance abuse and create a space to open up a dialogue around that. He's really put it all out there in his first post and I'm just flabbergasted and horrified that anyone would be outright mean in their comments.

Anyway, I think the post is worth reading and if you have a chance, give him some love. What he needs now is encouragement and community not holier than though self righteous judgemental bullshit.

love love love (and no bullshit),

ladyface

08-12-2011, 05:39 AM	#1
AlphaDrug Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female Relationship Status: Fresh Meat Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Reisterstown, MD Posts: 102 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 300 Times in 75 Posts Rep Power: 3148780	The younger crowd here isn't very large or active I take it... I'm 22, and I'm afraid I'm one of the babies here... I didn't even know I COULD like girls till I was a freshman in highschool, 8 years ago, I was blessed with the best group of friends a girl could ask for, the indi/goth outsider kids who were accepting of everything. I did the whole straight to bisexual to gay thing. I'd met my first and only boyfriend the summer before high school, dated him for two years, the entire time I had a crush on my best friend Crystal, shes the one who gets the gold toaster, I learned from her that it was okay to like girls and normal, so 2 years down the road I wasn't happy with my boyfriend, I went to prom with Crys and told him that there was a chance I might experiment with her that night, he jokingly just said to take video... I laugh at that now but originally it pissed me off. I slept with my best friend that night and was smitten, it was insane and everything I'd been looking for. From there I declared I was bisexual... never dated a guy again so it evolved into comfortably telling people I was gay. My coming out story to my parents is... interesting... and not how I'd planned it. Haha! If you want to hear that one just ask. XD I don't have much time and have to leave for work soon. My favorite campaign that happened recently was the IT GETS BETTER thing that all the celebrities did, still thinking about it makes me tear up, because if I hadn't had the support of my friends in high school I'd have had a much harder time coming out. Luckily for me as well live really close to DC, so everything is pretty diverse and accepting to begin with, not a small town kind of girl. __________________ "Theres only us, theres only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way... No day but today!"

08-12-2011, 06:33 AM	#2
wolfbittenpoet Member How Do You Identify?: Typewriter Boy Preferred Pronoun?: He/They Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: FL where cows go mooooo Posts: 535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 893 Thanked 1,579 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 7518427	Heya Alpha. There's a growing youth pop around here we just are stealthy. Like cats... erm not housecats. __________________ Burn Burn Burn

08-12-2011, 03:51 PM	#4
wolfbittenpoet Member How Do You Identify?: Typewriter Boy Preferred Pronoun?: He/They Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: FL where cows go mooooo Posts: 535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 893 Thanked 1,579 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 7518427	The darkside.... It's any side not currently in front of you. __________________ Burn Burn Burn

08-12-2011, 04:20 PM	#5
stepfordfemme Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme-inist. Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones :) Relationship Status: I really really like someone. Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 237 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 427 Thanked 865 Times in 193 Posts Rep Power: 10262849	under 30 We young'uns are here! It has always seemed to me that people my age seem to embrace the queer but not the butch-femme dynamic. I'm 26, and I've know for a very long time, but I went through many phases before embracing my full fabulous femme self. Just wanted to say hi and welcome! I also love the itgetsbetter campaign. I think the under 30s have been really blessed with a lot of acceptance and a generation that is open to change. __________________ Love Well. Breathe Deeply.Dream Often.Live Boldly.

08-13-2011, 10:02 AM	#9
Holly.88 Member How Do You Identify?: Male and Unc to my God Son Preferred Pronoun?: Him, he, and 'hey, handsome' :P Relationship Status: She said "Yes!" Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: NOLA Posts: 285 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 230 Thanked 654 Times in 224 Posts Rep Power: 3156407	I've been butch since the day I was born. My earliest memories are of running around outside in my Levis, bare feet, and no shirt. Man, those were good times! When my twin and I started school we went to a private Catholic school because it was "the best school around." We weren't even Catholic. Every Thursday morning we all had church together, and I can remember being five years old, kneeling with my hands folded and eyes shut tight, praying my heart out that God would make me a boy so I wouldn't be a sinner anymore and would be normal. The summer before my senior year of high school I met my first girlfriend. I came out to all my friends the first day of senior year and I was lucky enough to have some pretty great friends. Over the years I've become more comfortable with who I am and I make no excuses or apologies for that. I am one self confident, proud, and open southern boi and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it. __________________ http://i52.tinypic.com/15mbugw.jpg

08-13-2011, 06:38 AM	#8
EnderD_503 Member How Do You Identify?: Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?: Male pronouns Relationship Status: Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,329 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,090 Thanked 3,878 Times in 1,022 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Well, I pretty much suck at making threads, so I'm the wrong person to suggest thread ideas. But I agree that we need more threads in this section, for sure.

01-19-2012, 03:33 PM	#12
AlexHunter Member How Do You Identify?: With a greeting and a handshake, typically Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 150 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 469 Thanked 455 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 6000594	Well, this will be long. For me, the realization of being gay was a part of something bigger: gender dysphoria. I always felt, well, male. When I was two, I asked my mom when I was going to grow a penis. Throughout my childhood, I had my hair as short as my mother would let me have it, dressed like a boy, played with the boys, and liked girls. It wasn't anything complicated back then; "boy" things felt "right" and "girl" things didn't. My parents had a collection of old movies. I loved watching them and strongly identified with the leading male characters. I wanted to be a gentleman with a pretty lady on my arm. I had my first memorable girl crush in first grade. We went trick or treating together. I was a big, scary vampire and she wanted to dress as a princess. I told her Halloween was supposed to be scary, so the princess idea was lame. She compromised and decided to be a zombie princess, instead. I lost my virginity (to a girl) at thirteen. I had sex with several girls throughout high school, though my first serious girlfriend was not until senior year. I also enjoyed looking up porn with guys in it (had to be man and woman, though, I didn't care for the gay stuff), which briefly made me wonder if I was attracted to them, in addition to girls. I decided to explore something sexual with a guy and quickly realized I was disgusted by it. I just had a bad case of penis envy. I never had to "come out." Everyone assumed. I was dead set on transitioning until I was 20 (I'm 28 now). I toyed around with several labels before I found out what was comfortable for me. I didn't want to claim butch status at first because I thought it was a term for "lesbians." The butch-identified people I knew were (in hindsight) either woman ID'd or soft butch (nothing wrong with either, but it's not me.) I read about "stone butch" and went by that for awhile. I am not 100% stone anymore but that is another story. For the last few years, I've claimed butch and genderqueer. __________________ Speak your mind even if your voice shakes. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

01-27-2012, 01:22 AM	#13
1ladyface Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: loved and loving Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: SF Posts: 86 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 65 Thanked 279 Times in 66 Posts Rep Power: 3368880	Hi All, My ex and good friend is blogging for originalplumbing.com from jail, via letters to me. His first post went up today. I think of the OP community as really supportive but there have been two nasty comments on his blog post, both of which are based on inaccurate and unfounded assumptions. He is blogging to share his experiences, connect with other trans folks struggling with substance abuse and create a space to open up a dialogue around that. He's really put it all out there in his first post and I'm just flabbergasted and horrified that anyone would be outright mean in their comments. Anyway, I think the post is worth reading and if you have a chance, give him some love. What he needs now is encouragement and community not holier than though self righteous judgemental bullshit. love love love (and no bullshit), ladyface __________________ xoxo -ladyface http://www.1ladyface.blogspot.com