Healthy Weight Loss

[nycfem]

Last night I dreamed that I had a job interview that didn't go well, and I got in line at Dunkin Donuts to buy donuts afterwards. Just as I was about to have made it to the front of the line, I summoned all my willpower and scrambled out of the line, ran out the door, and went and bought an unsweetened passion iced tea at Starbucks instead. I didn't know who else to tell this dream to but you all

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

Last night I dreamed that I had a job interview that didn't go well, and I got in line at Dunkin Donuts to buy donuts afterwards. Just as I was about to have made it to the front of the line, I summoned all my willpower and scrambled out of the line, ran out the door, and went and bought an unsweetened passion iced tea at Starbucks instead. I didn't know who else to tell this dream to but you all

Femme sister! What an absolutely awesome dream! Down to your subconscious- you are doing this! I love this! Thanks for sharing your dream.

Hugs

[Medusa]

WEE!

My pants are loose! Even with a 2lb gain last week (and I peeked already and have lost it this week!) I am actually starting to see the weight loss.
When I hit that 40-lb gone forever mark, I might have to celebrate with a massage! WOOT!

Also, I did any of you see the "Secret Trois" group that had such Youtube popularity over the last year or two? This group is just 3 women (self described "big girls") who get together and do dances and put them up on Youtube.
This one was the one that got them popular:


But THIS one is my favorite:

I'm sorry but the girl in white can work her ass! I LOVE watching these three!

Well, apparently "Beautiful" started a weight loss blog a while back and has been doing Weight Watchers and has lost over 100 pounds! She is not only an amazing dancer but very motivational.

One thing she talked about on her blog is how people would get all excited to see her lose weight but would kinda wrinkle their nose when she told them it took her a year or two. She said she used to have the same reaction when encountering blogs that were not a "lose 100 pounds in 3 months" kind of thing and would click the "back" button.

I think it is so awesome that she not only acknowledges the fact that true and permanent weight loss takes a long time but also encourages other people in such a positive way.

Here is her blog:
http://www.madamethejourneyblog.com/

[PinkieLee]

Medusa... YOU GO GIRL! Enjoy those loose fitting clothes honey, and when you do hit that close approaching 40 pound forever lost mark, you DESERVE the massage!

THANK YOU for posting the videos (which I've probably watched a dozen times in the past) and for the blog. It's crazy that most people don't understand that weight loss takes time! Losing 100 pounds in 3 months is not healthy... and really scares the crap out of me. I know any time that I've lost mass amount of weight (65+ pounds in 4 months), I always gained it back, plus another 15 pounds, because I NEVER changed anything about how I relate to food. The binges would begin again and on the downward spiral I would go.

A friend of mine recently had lap band surgery about 5 months ago. She's already lost 75 pounds. I've been on WW for 10 weeks, and have lost 19. It's nuts how people are so eager to congratulate her on the weight loss, but don't even seem to acknowledge how much work I've done to lose weight ON MY OWN. At a recent party, she actually said to me, "Tonya, you should really have the surgery, you'll lose the weight so much quicker." Ugh... what the fuck ever!

I sat quietly and watched her make a plate of food, eat a few bites here and there, and complain about not feeling well because her band was too tight. She was still eating the same crap as before... just in smaller portions. I was able to look at the food choices, and pick healthier options and actually eat a normal size portion of food... not feeling deprived.

I know that for some folks, weight loss surgery is the best option for medical reasons. But, I know that my big ass can exercise & make smarter choices, and I CAN and WILL do this on my own (plus with all the support from y'all).

I think that for most folks, they want a quick fix for everything. Damn the instant gratification that we all want! But, good things come to those that wait. I want to feel proud of myself for doing it the right way and not because I just couldn't eat anymore.

**off my soapbox for the day**

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

Medusa... YOU GO GIRL! Enjoy those loose fitting clothes honey, and when you do hit that close approaching 40 pound forever lost mark, you DESERVE the massage!

THANK YOU for posting the videos (which I've probably watched a dozen times in the past) and for the blog. It's crazy that most people don't understand that weight loss takes time! Losing 100 pounds in 3 months is not healthy... and really scares the crap out of me. I know any time that I've lost mass amount of weight (65+ pounds in 4 months), I always gained it back, plus another 15 pounds, because I NEVER changed anything about how I relate to food. The binges would begin again and on the downward spiral I would go.

A friend of mine recently had lap band surgery about 5 months ago. She's already lost 75 pounds. I've been on WW for 10 weeks, and have lost 19. It's nuts how people are so eager to congratulate her on the weight loss, but don't even seem to acknowledge how much work I've done to lose weight ON MY OWN. At a recent party, she actually said to me, "Tonya, you should really have the surgery, you'll lose the weight so much quicker." Ugh... what the fuck ever!

I sat quietly and watched her make a plate of food, eat a few bites here and there, and complain about not feeling well because her band was too tight. She was still eating the same crap as before... just in smaller portions. I was able to look at the food choices, and pick healthier options and actually eat a normal size portion of food... not feeling deprived.

I know that for some folks, weight loss surgery is the best option for medical reasons. But, I know that my big ass can exercise & make smarter choices, and I CAN and WILL do this on my own (plus with all the support from y'all).

I think that for most folks, they want a quick fix for everything. Damn the instant gratification that we all want! But, good things come to those that wait. I want to feel proud of myself for doing it the right way and not because I just couldn't eat anymore.

**off my soapbox for the day**

This is so, so true.

One of my friends/colleagues at work had the surgery but didn't change anything else.

Two years later, she regained all of the weight she lost and then some. And she's miserable and angry because she took all the risks of the surgery, paid an enormous amount of money for it...and she's back where she was.

Stomachs stretch. The surgery is temporary unless people change how they relate to food.

I'd rather go slow, thanks.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

But, good things come to those that wait. I want to feel proud of myself for doing it the right way and not because I just couldn't eat anymore.

Amen, Sister.

And please hear me when I say I make NO judgment about those opting for the quick fixes. We each have to do what we have to do for ourselves. I just know me and know that it needs to be something different to be permanent.....a shift in my thinking......an education of sorts.

More often than not, from what *I* have witnessed, the quick fixes were very temporary.

I am proud of *you*, T........and of everyone here for making the decision to do something different.

[Medusa]

Oh girl - Don't EVEN get me started on weight loss surgery! (Too late!)

I want to make it clear that what I'm about to post is not a judgment on anyone who has had WLS (weight loss surgery) but is more about my personal process around WLS.

I have been fat for a long time. Maybe about 15 years now. I'll be 35 in September and did not start gaining significant weight until I was 20. And when I say significant, I mean going from 150 pounds to 250 in the space of a few years. I am now 299 after hitting my highest weight of 335.

Never in all of that time of being fat, fatter, fattest did I ever consider getting my stomach stapled or lapband.
Here's why: It would feel to me like conceding to the "be thin at any cost" bullshit that is fed to us by the media and I am NOT willing to cut my body open so that someone else won't be offended by my fat ass. I am not willing to reroute my organs so that I can "get a date". I am not willing to lose my hair. have nurtrition issues, or throw up and have diarrhea for MONTHS because of a surgery that would be unncessary for me.Why? Because I can do this shit myself.

Again, I understand that this is a personal journey for each of us and that some folks have the surgery as a last resort or to increase mobility or because that is what will work for them.

I have had a family member (someone I don't have a super good relationship with) offer to pay half of the price of the surgery if I would have it. I was offended and still am. This person has always been embarassed of my weight and was obviously willing to spend $15k to make the "problem of Angie's fat ass" go away.
I respectfully declined the offer and instructed them never to approach me with it again.

I have also had several people that I have worked with over the years make comments like "If you'd have that surgery, you'd be so pretty!" or "it would be so much easier if you would have that surgery!"

My response to that has always been "I don't need surgery to be beautiful, I'm a knock-out sassyass NOW" and "It would not be "easier" to have surgery, my body would be cut open and I'd gain it all back".

I have witnessed coworkers and several friends go through different forms of WLS and some have lost significant amounts of weight. Without fail, *all* of them have lost varying amounts of hair (some permanently), have thrown up for months on end, have had diarrhea for months on end, have had vitamin absorbtion issues, and have developed different blood issues like anemia.

Some have lost over 100 pounds, some have only lost 30. All but one of the people that I personally know have gained either a portion or ALL of the weight back. (out of 12 different people)

Much like Tonya, I have witnessed folks who have had the surgery and have continued to eat junk food and drink sodas. That would have been me if I had the surgery. It would have been a temporary band-aid to me. I know myself well enough to know that losing or gaining weight is only a symptom of the bigger issue.

Let's say someone was allergic to rice and every time they ate it, a finger fell off. If I were a Doctor, I would not scratch my head and go "Hmmmm, we need to do something about that finger!", I would get to the root of the issue, the rice allergy, and treat THAT.

That is what I am personally doing right now. I am treating the issue and not the symptom. I am glad to be doing it with all of you.

[PinkieLee]

I will gladly take the blame for this discussion, if it means that we are opening the door to the real reasons why my eating habits & how I relate to food got so freakin' out of hand over the years.

I'm heading out the door for lunch right now, so I'll be back. I've got a million thoughts swimming around my head right now... I just need to figure out how to let them all out.

[*Anya*]

For me, has always been emotional in nature, always. WLS would have never "cured" that!

I am not going to focus on my weight per se because the weight is not the issue (again, for me) it is the why I gained weight in the first place.

My parents were physically and emotionally abusive. We rarely had sweets in the house except when my parents had a bridge party and then I would help my mom set up the card tables and snacks, just so I could sneak some.

One tine I vividly recall, I found a Hersey bar in the back of our junk drawer. I thought I died and went to heaven. I hustled up to my room and ate it in short order. I was under 10 so I gave no thought as to why a candy bar, never allowed in our house, would magically appear in the junk drawer. Of course, it was my mom's own stash she hid from my rabidly fat-phobic "hold in that stomach" father. My mother beat the shit out of me with a wooden spoon for eating her candy bar.

By the time I was a teen, I was more terrified of being fat and upsetting my father than my need to comfort-eat. After I moved out of the house-the day I turned 18, I might add, I maintained my weight as us medical people would call WNL-until, as I have posted before, my relationship went into the toilet. I then gave free rein to my need to feel better with food until 2 1/2 years ago when I again seized control back.

That hunger inside me to eat for confort is like a snake inside my soul, coiled up and always ready to pounce. Every day is a struggle to keep that fucking snake asleep. When I am sad and in a bad place as I am now, I want to free that snake!

It is always a battle between my intellect totally "getting" that desire and my emotions that got twisted so long ago.

No, WLS would do nothing for me in terms of winning that battle once and for all.

That being said, I know it has been a life-saver for many and I know that just because something would not "work" for me, does not mean it may nit fir someone else-but the psychological reasons for eating must be dealt with.

Losing weight is hard- keeping it off is the hardest.

[Daywalker]

For the last couple months I have changed what goes into our cart.

Since I do all the shopping (loveeee to grocery shop) then it is up to me to
think about the factors. Such as our age which is 46 and 50+. Attitude,
wardrobes, lack of mobility and other things were also 'weighed' in on.

So there have been no junk foods in the house, not even a single Ding Dong.


I have replaced them with fresh fruits, and snacks like flavored rice cakes,
red vines...etc. When first being weighed in at the Wizards early last year
I was at 225. I had perotitis that kept me from being able to chew well,
shit like that; inevitably this led me into a slight weight loss...down to
about 213...then the ups n down again. Since changing what goes
into our carts, I was weighed in at 204 yesterday.

This is big for me.
It puts me only 20 pounds from the weight I was when I met my Mrs Day in 2004.
This means it is working! Mrs Day is able to wear scrubs that she could not just
6 months ago. A simple change has weighed in as successful for us. It is up
to me to make sure our 'cart' meets our goals. Goals as simple as just
being able to pull out the tubs of clothing marked with sizes
lower than the current wardrobe.

I wish everyone the same success as we are having right now.

[nycfem]

More on my journey (Can anyone tell I'm on vacation from work - lotsa posts!):

I spent most of my childhood thin. I think this was helpful in a way because I developed the self-esteem of a thin person. I often think of myself as thin even though I'm "morbidly obese." It's weird but I think developing my sense of self when I was a thin person gave me confidence. I grew up fitting in in this regard!

When I was a teenager, I was still thin and yet, as we do in our culture, I found myself going on all kinds of crazy diets because I was still "too fat" (When I look at pictures of how I was actually thin, I'm stunned!). I became so nutritionally deprived that leaning on my hand would leave a bruise. At 5'4" I was 108, my lowest weight.

During college and the beginning of grad school (up until my mid-twenties), I was around 116. At times I was still eating too little as well as taking an anti-depressant, Imipramine, which I had started prior to the age of Prozac and the safer class of anti-depressants. I was having scary neurological and physical symptoms that I ignored. I would have mini seizures, sometimes start stumbling as if drunk, and pass out. Sometimes I would "come to" in a conversation and be saying something that made no sense. I went on with my life as if everything was normal.

I moved to New York in my twenties and started grad school. I was dealing with a lot of stress: mourning my maternal grandmother's death, recovering from my own mom having had a horrible bout of cancer, my father leaving my mother and doing all sorts of crazy things- and I was put (or allowed myself to be) in the middle, and a brutal sexual assault. I comforted myself with food. I had certain comfort foods, such as General Tao's vegetarian chicken (deep fried- NOT healthy veg), so often, that I remember the Chinese restaurant I'd go to giving me a Christmas gift! I knew that had to be a bad sign. I also remember teaching the roommate I shared my studio how putting an Entenmann's donut in the microwave for 20 seconds really made all the difference.

I didn't have many friends in NY and joined FLAB (Fat Lesbian Action Brigade) which I believe became NOLOSE. When I first joined, I was affectionately labeled a Chubby Chaser of sorts, a label I resented, knowing that I'd actually begun the journey to being fat and wanted support. And I did receive support. I remember telling an older nurse how I always wanted to eat Frosted Flakes, and she encouraged me to buy a big box of them, so I did. Within a year I was 170 pounds.

I was left with mixed feelings about my time with FLAB (now NOLOSE). I consider myself on the radical end of being fat positive (love the blog, http://www.bigfatblog.com). When I became fat, as a highly sensitive person to begin with, I was really hit with the amount of discriminatory treatment and insults I received, from being directed to a locker in the back of the gym to comments yelled out of speeding cars. In that sense, I felt protective towards my self, my fat self, and all other fat people. Being fat was new to me, and I hadn't built up the defenses or sense of normalcy around this new way of being treated that perhaps I might have if I was used to it from childhood.

Then I started my work as a social worker, working what felt like 24/7 mainly with abused children. Throwing a few fucked up relationships into the mix as well (prior to BB!), I went up to 243 pounds (my highest weight). That's when my mom had her heart attack, and I was shocked into wanting to lead a healthier lifestyle. This need was something that didn't involve thought. I sobbed to myself, thinking about how I had no idea how to lose weight. I did lots of Internet searches but felt lost and also had strong political feelings about not supporting the diet industry.

I decided to give up caffeine, including chocolate (which made Coke and candy no longer as interesting), exercise 4 hours per week, and to keep a detailed journal. Just by these few steps alone, I lost 50 pounds within a few years. And this remains my plan, adding to it- abstinence from movie theater popcorn (which sounds silly but was a big thing for me, as it was a favorite).

I'm sometimes tempted by fad diets and quick fixes but my goal in my heart remains not to diet, but to instead move day by day through making healthier choices. I actually think that is much harder than diets!

I am curious to hear other people's stories.

[nycfem]

I just love this woman's blog! As a vegetarian, I'm digging reading and seeing the visuals for all her healthy, vegan snacks and meals! What a great resource!

[PinkieLee]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

I just love this woman's blog! As a vegetarian, I'm digging reading and seeing the visuals for all her healthy, vegan snacks and meals! What a great resource!

I totally agree! Her picture of brussel sprouts & corn made my mouth water