Ask a trans person!

Apocalipstic · 08-12-2011, 09:33 AM

I have not read the thread, but I have a question...and its likely a stupid one.

How much does being on testosterone change someone as a person. For example can the testosterone make someones reactions way more aggressive than they were before? I am unclear as to how to interact with the Transmen in my life. What is OK and not OK to tell them that used to maybe be ok....?? Like if I am venting and don't need help, just someone to listen...etc.

This may be more of a Soffa question, is there a Soffa thread?

The_Lady_Snow · 08-12-2011, 09:55 AM

I don't think anything should become not ok when we are communicating with our chosen family and friends. T anything is not some pass to be or act like an assclown...

At least that's how I handle the guys, trans, men in my life..

ManOMan · 08-29-2011, 08:20 PM

Wow I had a post I spent a lot of time writing and accidentally deleted it.
LOL, I guess that wasn't, meant to be shared.....

The bottom line of it all is that everyone has different physical, emotional, mental and spiritual reactions to taking hormones. T is a very powerful substance.

I feel it's inappropriate that anyone says anything is real or unreal, for someone else (specifically here) based on taking T.

DapperButch · 08-12-2011, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I have not read the thread, but I have a question...and its likely a stupid one.

How much does being on testosterone change someone as a person. For example can the testosterone make someones reactions way more aggressive than they were before? I am unclear as to how to interact with the Transmen in my life. What is OK and not OK to tell them that used to maybe be ok....?? Like if I am venting and don't need help, just someone to listen...etc.

This may be more of a Soffa question, is there a Soffa thread?

I am not on T.

However, from my understanding if a person was mild mannered before T, there is not reason to expect that they are going to become these raging people.

It is like a second puberty, but with testosterone this time (just like teenage boys). IF the guy on T feels some increased aggressiveness, he just learns to control it like any other guy. I have heard guys say that if they were a "hot head" before T that it was a bit harder to manage after they got on T. But they learn to. Like Snow said, no free passes!

You interact with them like any other person in your life. It is not like they are aliens, Apoc!

Apocalipstic · 08-12-2011, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I don't think anything should become not ok when we are communicating with our chosen family and friends. T anything is not some pass to be or act like an assclown...

At least that's how I handle the guys, trans, men in my life..

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I am not on T.

However, from my understanding if a person was mild mannered before T, there is not reason to expect that they are going to become these raging people.

It is like a second puberty, but with testosterone this time (just like teenage boys). IF the guy on T feels some increased aggressiveness, he just learns to control it like any other guy. I have heard guys say that if they were a "hot head" before T that it was a bit harder to manage after they got on T. But they learn to. Like Snow said, no free passes!

You interact with them like any other person in your life. It is not like they are aliens, Apoc!

Oh goodness, I how I am nto sounding like I think anyone is an alien!!!

What I am wondering is how to deal with someone changing from where I could vent to them about anything and have for 20 years to now them acting on what I am venting about rather than just listening.

There is a point where this changes and the person really is different. Not worse, not bad...just a different person.

Is this Testosterone related?

The_Lady_Snow · 08-12-2011, 10:52 AM

I would be honest and say, hey!! I need you to listen and just listen... If they listened before why not now? No amount of T should give anyone the right to go around posturing or imposing themselves on your behalf...

Apocalipstic · 08-12-2011, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I would be honest and say, hey!! I need you to listen and just listen... If they listened before why not now? No amount of T should give anyone the right to go around posturing or imposing themselves on your behalf...

Thank you! I wanted to make sure saying that was ok and reasonable with the testosterone.

The_Lady_Snow · 08-12-2011, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Thank you! I wanted to make sure saying that was ok and reasonable with the testosterone.

Testosterone ass clown pass does not exist!!!

Transitioning does not equate the I'm Tarzan you Jane shenanigans!

T D · 08-12-2011, 11:40 AM

Just speaking from my own personal experience here. I find that I tend to be more aggressive when I'm stressed out about something. That's usually my clue that I'm stressed and not really realizing that I am.

Needless to say, transition is pretty stressful on several different levels. So perhaps it's not necessarily the T, but perhaps partially related to the transition on some other kind of level.

Of course then, there are some people that seem to think this is more of a "male" behavior and actually do it for that reason.

Just a thought.

Thinker · 08-12-2011, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Oh goodness, I how I am nto sounding like I think anyone is an alien!!!

What I am wondering is how to deal with someone changing from where I could vent to them about anything and have for 20 years to now them acting on what I am venting about rather than just listening.

There is a point where this changes and the person really is different. Not worse, not bad...just a different person.

Is this Testosterone related?

I don't know if I will be able to articulate this well, but I'll give it a shot.

Testosterone *does* change quite a few things about how a person "is". However, it's not as simple as......T was introduced into the system and BINGO---a change has occurred.

I think it is the fact that the individual on T is now perceived and received differently by society at large. The changes in how things go for him on a daily basis cause him to change the way he interacts with others.

An example from my "book" is me when I'm one-on-one with my chiropractor's assistant (female, currently pregnant). When we talk about how she is feeling and her hormones and blahblahblah, I am very measured in my responses because there are times I start to say things that would surely raise an eyebrow.........things I just should not know so well.

I'm still not sure I'm explaining my thoughts on this very clearly.

Apocalipstic · 08-12-2011, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker

I don't know if I will be able to articulate this well, but I'll give it a shot.

Testosterone *does* change quite a few things about how a person "is". However, it's not as simple as......T was introduced into the system and BINGO---a change has occurred.

I think it is the fact that the individual on T is now perceived and received differently by society at large. The changes in how things go for him on a daily basis cause him to change the way he interacts with others.

An example from my "book" is me when I'm one-on-one with my chiropractor's assistant (female, currently pregnant). When we talk about how she is feeling and her hormones and blahblahblah, I am very measured in my responses because there are times I start to say things that would surely raise an eyebrow.........things I just should not know so well.

I'm still not sure I'm explaining my thoughts on this very clearly.

So being seen as male may have more to do with acting more aggressively than the actual testosterone.

I can definitely tell a difference in interacting with all of my friends who are on testosterone I knew before and now. Especially after the "puberty" phaze.

Priorities are different.

Rufusboi · 08-12-2011, 01:34 PM

I have been on T for a year now and it has not changed my personality at all. I was not an ass before T so why should I be an ass after T.

Maybe your friends are using the excuse of being on T just to be an ass without taking resposiblilty.

T rage is over exagerated and only used as an excuse for bad behavior.

Rufus

atomiczombie · 08-12-2011, 01:51 PM

I was on T for a year, and 5 months of that was the full dose. My personality did not change. There were stress factors that went along with being on T, but they weren't from the T itself. They were related to things that came up because I was on T. Make sense?

However, that did not make me a cranky guy, just more anxious. I don't think T fundamentally changes your personality. If he had aggressive tendencies before, those might be more noticeable as he lives in a world that expects that more from him.

Thinker · 08-12-2011, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So being seen as male may have more to do with acting more aggressively than the actual testosterone.

I can definitely tell a difference in interacting with all of my friends who are on testosterone I knew before and now. Especially after the "puberty" phaze.

Priorities are different.

Yeah......if we're talking about being aggressive....which I wasn't really focusing on. I was more talking about a general way of "being" really. For some, yeah, that could be about being more aggressive.......not necessarily rage either because I see them as two very different things.

As with my previous post, these are just my opinions.

EnderD_503 · 08-12-2011, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So being seen as male may have more to do with acting more aggressively than the actual testosterone.

I can definitely tell a difference in interacting with all of my friends who are on testosterone I knew before and now. Especially after the "puberty" phaze.

Priorities are different.

Agree with Rufus, the whole T rage thing is individual at best, if not an all out myth. I've noticed that a lot of guys will use testosterone as an excuse to say and do things that they wouldn't do/say before as far as social acceptability. I think with some guys there's a lot of machismo that goes on that actually has little to do with the testosterone itself, and more to do with insecurity about masculinity, trying to relive an adolescence they never had or just trying to live up to new social expectations on what men are "supposed" to do/say.

I also think its highly individual as well. Remember that a lot of guys may have been much more insecure before testosterone, and as such were never very assertive because they weren't comfortable in their own skin. Once they feel comfortable in their own skin, they may come out of their shell, so to speak. The more assertive person may actually be who they really were, but were never confident enough to be because of their bodies.

All in all, I really think it depends on the individual, not on what testosterone does or doesn't do.

Apocalipstic · 08-12-2011, 02:08 PM

Great answers with so much insight! Thank you all!

08-12-2011, 09:33 AM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have not read the thread, but I have a question...and its likely a stupid one. How much does being on testosterone change someone as a person. For example can the testosterone make someones reactions way more aggressive than they were before? I am unclear as to how to interact with the Transmen in my life. What is OK and not OK to tell them that used to maybe be ok....?? Like if I am venting and don't need help, just someone to listen...etc. This may be more of a Soffa question, is there a Soffa thread? __________________

08-12-2011, 09:55 AM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	I don't think anything should become not ok when we are communicating with our chosen family and friends. T anything is not some pass to be or act like an assclown... At least that's how I handle the guys, trans, men in my life.. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

08-29-2011, 08:20 PM	#3
ManOMan Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him/His... Relationship Status: Single & searching.... Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 96 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 249 Thanked 217 Times in 64 Posts Rep Power: 1447910	T and gender identity Wow I had a post I spent a lot of time writing and accidentally deleted it. LOL, I guess that wasn't, meant to be shared..... The bottom line of it all is that everyone has different physical, emotional, mental and spiritual reactions to taking hormones. T is a very powerful substance. I feel it's inappropriate that anyone says anything is real or unreal, for someone else (specifically here) based on taking T. __________________ The Truth is you are Loved more than you can imagine

08-12-2011, 10:52 AM	#6
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	I would be honest and say, hey!! I need you to listen and just listen... If they listened before why not now? No amount of T should give anyone the right to go around posturing or imposing themselves on your behalf... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

08-12-2011, 11:40 AM	#9
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,125 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 3570339	Just speaking from my own personal experience here. I find that I tend to be more aggressive when I'm stressed out about something. That's usually my clue that I'm stressed and not really realizing that I am. Needless to say, transition is pretty stressful on several different levels. So perhaps it's not necessarily the T, but perhaps partially related to the transition on some other kind of level. Of course then, there are some people that seem to think this is more of a "male" behavior and actually do it for that reason. Just a thought. __________________ “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

08-12-2011, 01:34 PM	#12
Rufusboi Member How Do You Identify?: Trans Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Partnered Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SouthTexas - On the Gulf Posts: 694 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 210 Thanked 429 Times in 162 Posts Rep Power: 505008	I have been on T for a year now and it has not changed my personality at all. I was not an ass before T so why should I be an ass after T. Maybe your friends are using the excuse of being on T just to be an ass without taking resposiblilty. T rage is over exagerated and only used as an excuse for bad behavior. Rufus

08-12-2011, 01:51 PM	#13
atomiczombie Member How Do You Identify?: Femmesensual Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Relationship Status: Dating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rio Vista, CA Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,949 Thanked 3,221 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I was on T for a year, and 5 months of that was the full dose. My personality did not change. There were stress factors that went along with being on T, but they weren't from the T itself. They were related to things that came up because I was on T. Make sense? However, that did not make me a cranky guy, just more anxious. I don't think T fundamentally changes your personality. If he had aggressive tendencies before, those might be more noticeable as he lives in a world that expects that more from him. __________________ http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...orums_2000.gif Russian Unicorn http://occupiedmedia.us/

08-12-2011, 02:08 PM	#16
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Great answers with so much insight! Thank you all! __________________