Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

JustJo · 08-12-2011, 03:11 PM

Thank you Dapper and Debby

It really does help to hear that some of this is normal...for me and for her.

Unfortunately she won't share any information about the stage of her cancer (claims that they didn't tell her...which is nonsense...and that she doesn't want to know...which sounds like her). With HIPAA they won't/can't tell me anything...at her request no one has anything beyond being an emergency contact.

One foot in front of the other is the theme (for both of us I think) at this point. My boss has been totally supportive (it helps that his mother has had 3 bouts with cancer)....which is a big help....although there are a lot of days when I find myself staring at the computer screen and totally unmotivated to do anything for work. Thank goodness I work from home so no one can see me.

I'm pretty sure that I'm driving Scoote completely nuts...because I really can't explain why one minute I'm fine and the next I'm truly not. Poor her. It has to be crazy-making.

Anyway...thank you to you both again. It really helps just to be able to talk/write about it.

deb_U_taunt · 08-13-2011, 03:32 PM

The Dr told her stage and grade, she wasn't listening or like you have said about her, for drama's sake she isn't sharing. My mother-in-law would probably not share either, just in case her's wasn't as bad as the next person's. lol

My boss has been really supportive, too. His mom lost a kidney to cancer last year.

I work from home most of the time, too. Lots of days lately have been spent staring at the wall behind my laptop.

Yep, you are so damn normal.

PM me too if you ever need to talk or vent.

Hugs, Debby

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Thank you Dapper and Debby

It really does help to hear that some of this is normal...for me and for her.

Unfortunately she won't share any information about the stage of her cancer (claims that they didn't tell her...which is nonsense...and that she doesn't want to know...which sounds like her). With HIPAA they won't/can't tell me anything...at her request no one has anything beyond being an emergency contact.

One foot in front of the other is the theme (for both of us I think) at this point. My boss has been totally supportive (it helps that his mother has had 3 bouts with cancer)....which is a big help....although there are a lot of days when I find myself staring at the computer screen and totally unmotivated to do anything for work. Thank goodness I work from home so no one can see me.

I'm pretty sure that I'm driving Scoote completely nuts...because I really can't explain why one minute I'm fine and the next I'm truly not. Poor her. It has to be crazy-making.

Anyway...thank you to you both again. It really helps just to be able to talk/write about it.

deb_U_taunt · 08-14-2011, 04:13 PM

Damn, you never know what life will throw your way.

Tommi · 08-14-2011, 04:42 PM

Just Jo,

Yes, this absolutely a great place to write about what is going on. Just a word of encouragement to take care of YOUR emotional ups and downs. Write about it, talk about it, cry about it.

It's really weird when someone you know gets cancer. For them, it is that wake up and smell the coffee time.

For you, it is being on the outside , looking through the window, but , with your Mom, it seems like she has the blinds closed.

My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer after bouts of pneumonia, etc. SHE did not want to know the stage. We were told it was inoperable, and was not looking very good, and after 3 mos or so, that there would be nothing more they could do for her. Long story short, she lived almost 5 years, and died suddenly of a heart attack, just after a complete good bill of health physical. She had chemo, radiation that first 3 mos, etc.and said she was not ready to die from cancer.

On the other hand , some people really don't want the fight and just go along with what's left of life. Whatever, it is , I have found over the years, working as a volunteer with cancer patients, and at one time in the medical field taking care of them, that people with cancer really just need someone to listen to them, when and if they are ready to talk.

Come back and let us know how you are doing.

Best regards,
Tommi

deb_U_taunt · 08-19-2011, 08:44 PM

The nurse was able to get a vein on the first try today.

Only 2 more chemo treatments left!!!!!!!!!

Novelafemme · 08-19-2011, 08:57 PM

{{{{Jo}}}}} Cancer drains not only the person it's attacking, but everyone around it as well. Everything you are feeling, thinking, experiencing is totally normal. Even the icky family stuff. People resurface and make appearances in your life and think that it's ok to use the cancer as a bridge over troubled waters...and it really is up to you whether or not to insert parameters and boundaries or not. There are no rules when it comes to cancer. Just remember to take deep breaths and know that things won't always feel this heavy.

Starbuck · 08-19-2011, 11:06 PM

My friend R just finished her 6th cycle, or 12th treatment of 5 different toxic medications for her non-hodgekins lymphoma in her chest and neck and I was her caregiver. There were hospital stays, times we had to rush her to the ER due to fevers and uncontrollable bone pain, all sorts of things. But the good news is she made it through and her hair is starting to come back in! Many of her good natured friends are "betting" on what color and how it's going to look, whether straight or curly, it was long and straight before. I can't say it was easy, I remembmer sitting with her in the ER, holding her hand crying with her because she was in so much pain and I felt so helpless to help her. Never once did she lose her appreciation for the help she received from the nurses and doctors that came into her room; she always thanked them. What a blessing she is in my life! Thank you, R, for being such an inspiration to me and so many others as you continue your recovery. I love you very much.

IttyBittyFem · 08-25-2011, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

{{{{Jo}}}}} Cancer drains not only the person it's attacking, but everyone around it as well. Everything you are feeling, thinking, experiencing is totally normal. Even the icky family stuff. People resurface and make appearances in your life and think that it's ok to use the cancer as a bridge over troubled waters...and it really is up to you whether or not to insert parameters and boundaries or not. There are no rules when it comes to cancer. Just remember to take deep breaths and know that things won't always feel this heavy.

Very well said lovely Lady!

08-12-2011, 03:11 PM	#1
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,405 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Thank you Dapper and Debby It really does help to hear that some of this is normal...for me and for her. Unfortunately she won't share any information about the stage of her cancer (claims that they didn't tell her...which is nonsense...and that she doesn't want to know...which sounds like her). With HIPAA they won't/can't tell me anything...at her request no one has anything beyond being an emergency contact. One foot in front of the other is the theme (for both of us I think) at this point. My boss has been totally supportive (it helps that his mother has had 3 bouts with cancer)....which is a big help....although there are a lot of days when I find myself staring at the computer screen and totally unmotivated to do anything for work. Thank goodness I work from home so no one can see me. I'm pretty sure that I'm driving Scoote completely nuts...because I really can't explain why one minute I'm fine and the next I'm truly not. Poor her. It has to be crazy-making. Anyway...thank you to you both again. It really helps just to be able to talk/write about it. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

08-19-2011, 11:06 PM	#7
Starbuck Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Oklahoma City Posts: 2,436 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,378 Thanked 2,148 Times in 756 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My friend R just finished her 6th cycle, or 12th treatment of 5 different toxic medications for her non-hodgekins lymphoma in her chest and neck and I was her caregiver. There were hospital stays, times we had to rush her to the ER due to fevers and uncontrollable bone pain, all sorts of things. But the good news is she made it through and her hair is starting to come back in! Many of her good natured friends are "betting" on what color and how it's going to look, whether straight or curly, it was long and straight before. I can't say it was easy, I remembmer sitting with her in the ER, holding her hand crying with her because she was in so much pain and I felt so helpless to help her. Never once did she lose her appreciation for the help she received from the nurses and doctors that came into her room; she always thanked them. What a blessing she is in my life! Thank you, R, for being such an inspiration to me and so many others as you continue your recovery. I love you very much. __________________ To forgive is to set the prisoner free, And then discover the prisoner was you.

08-14-2011, 04:13 PM	#3
deb_U_taunt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: May 2011 Location: ....... Posts: 1,748 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,324 Thanked 5,255 Times in 1,361 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Damn, you never know what life will throw your way.

08-14-2011, 04:42 PM	#4
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Just Jo, Yes, this absolutely a great place to write about what is going on. Just a word of encouragement to take care of YOUR emotional ups and downs. Write about it, talk about it, cry about it. It's really weird when someone you know gets cancer. For them, it is that wake up and smell the coffee time. For you, it is being on the outside , looking through the window, but , with your Mom, it seems like she has the blinds closed. My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer after bouts of pneumonia, etc. SHE did not want to know the stage. We were told it was inoperable, and was not looking very good, and after 3 mos or so, that there would be nothing more they could do for her. Long story short, she lived almost 5 years, and died suddenly of a heart attack, just after a complete good bill of health physical. She had chemo, radiation that first 3 mos, etc.and said she was not ready to die from cancer. On the other hand , some people really don't want the fight and just go along with what's left of life. Whatever, it is , I have found over the years, working as a volunteer with cancer patients, and at one time in the medical field taking care of them, that people with cancer really just need someone to listen to them, when and if they are ready to talk. Come back and let us know how you are doing. Best regards, Tommi

08-19-2011, 08:44 PM	#5
deb_U_taunt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: May 2011 Location: ....... Posts: 1,748 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,324 Thanked 5,255 Times in 1,361 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	The nurse was able to get a vein on the first try today. Only 2 more chemo treatments left!!!!!!!!!

08-19-2011, 08:57 PM	#6
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	{{{{Jo}}}}} Cancer drains not only the person it's attacking, but everyone around it as well. Everything you are feeling, thinking, experiencing is totally normal. Even the icky family stuff. People resurface and make appearances in your life and think that it's ok to use the cancer as a bridge over troubled waters...and it really is up to you whether or not to insert parameters and boundaries or not. There are no rules when it comes to cancer. Just remember to take deep breaths and know that things won't always feel this heavy.