Butches Cruel Joke?? *The Change*

Ryobi · 08-15-2011, 11:06 AM

Strappie I'm happy you're going to the Dr. Peace to you on this unwanted journey.

For me:

Much like Daywalker, I don't think of my given body as a means to determine or declare my gender. I don't think I could ever change my belief in that, I do however, think that very thing lends a little bit to the frustration I have with it. (self imposed rock and a hard place? lol)

I also agree that SOME butches (no matter how they ID), TG butches and FtM's have great difficulties in dealing with what is a "woman thing". (before anyone jumps on me for saying "woman thing", please point me to a bio male that gets a period or goes through menopause.) I can have all the understanding, compassion, and offer support to a friend, partner, etc that is going through this. For me to have to deal with it personally, is quite a different story. That's where the mind fuck comes in, forced compliance. I loathe forced compliance in any sense, in any aspect of my life. To HAVE TO comply with my body for reasons of having a period or going through all the crap menopause has to offer, feels to me like betrayal deluxe.

I think it's important for people who have similar feeling to this, talk with eachother. It is hard to find people that understand the feelings. Most other people I have tried to talk to about this, have either laughed at me or said something to the effect of "EVERY woman goes through it. What makes you special?" To me those statements are stifling. And for my feelings to be laughed at, causes an abrupt end to most conversation after that.

Crying jags, aren't they fun? I like to think of it as crying like a baby. Often times a baby cries for no apparent reason. No matter what you do, they cry and cry and cry. Until, they stop. All seems right in their world. I hope adults have more awareness to the folks around them and the affects this "event" can have on others. (more awareness than a baby, anyway.) After a few days of being a weepy hot flash mess, when all is right in my world again, I like to make sure I'm right in my loved ones' world again too, if necessary.

I wish peace to everyone going through this bit of joy in their life, especially the ones that feel fucked with.

(and btw, *I* am what makes me special.)

LaneyDoll · 08-15-2011, 11:32 AM

Once againg, this site has opened my eyes to something that had not occurred to me. Personally, I have not been through menopause and God help anyone who is with me when I do. Hormones messed me with horribly when I was on them a few years ago so HRT may not be an option for me.

BUT!!! My (ex) mother-in-law and I are pretty close so I have been a little knowledge of what happens to a (straight, femme) woman. As such, I can only imagine what a butch woman goes through. My m-i-l used to take St Johns Wort and the effect was noticeable. I used to tell her that if she ever ran out, to call me and I would get her some. Her attitude, mental well being, and general outlook etc were so much better.

At any rate, I do want to thank everyone who has shared their experiences. I literally devour threads like this-anything to help me better understand the flip side of the B/F coin.

08-15-2011, 11:06 AM	#1
Ryobi Member How Do You Identify?: TG Stone Butch. Over all, I identify by living my life. Preferred Pronoun?: He/His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 683 Thanked 1,238 Times in 357 Posts Rep Power: 12468328	Strappie I'm happy you're going to the Dr. Peace to you on this unwanted journey. For me: Much like Daywalker, I don't think of my given body as a means to determine or declare my gender. I don't think I could ever change my belief in that, I do however, think that very thing lends a little bit to the frustration I have with it. (self imposed rock and a hard place? lol) I also agree that SOME butches (no matter how they ID), TG butches and FtM's have great difficulties in dealing with what is a "woman thing". (before anyone jumps on me for saying "woman thing", please point me to a bio male that gets a period or goes through menopause.) I can have all the understanding, compassion, and offer support to a friend, partner, etc that is going through this. For me to have to deal with it personally, is quite a different story. That's where the mind fuck comes in, forced compliance. I loathe forced compliance in any sense, in any aspect of my life. To HAVE TO comply with my body for reasons of having a period or going through all the crap menopause has to offer, feels to me like betrayal deluxe. I think it's important for people who have similar feeling to this, talk with eachother. It is hard to find people that understand the feelings. Most other people I have tried to talk to about this, have either laughed at me or said something to the effect of "EVERY woman goes through it. What makes you special?" To me those statements are stifling. And for my feelings to be laughed at, causes an abrupt end to most conversation after that. Crying jags, aren't they fun? I like to think of it as crying like a baby. Often times a baby cries for no apparent reason. No matter what you do, they cry and cry and cry. Until, they stop. All seems right in their world. I hope adults have more awareness to the folks around them and the affects this "event" can have on others. (more awareness than a baby, anyway.) After a few days of being a weepy hot flash mess, when all is right in my world again, I like to make sure I'm right in my loved ones' world again too, if necessary. I wish peace to everyone going through this bit of joy in their life, especially the ones that feel fucked with. (and btw, I am what makes me special.) __________________ "If you can't do great things, do small things in a great way" Napoleon Hill. "To choose a word is to choose a world" Anonymous

08-15-2011, 11:32 AM	#2
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Once againg, this site has opened my eyes to something that had not occurred to me. Personally, I have not been through menopause and God help anyone who is with me when I do. Hormones messed me with horribly when I was on them a few years ago so HRT may not be an option for me. BUT!!! My (ex) mother-in-law and I are pretty close so I have been a little knowledge of what happens to a (straight, femme) woman. As such, I can only imagine what a butch woman goes through. My m-i-l used to take St Johns Wort and the effect was noticeable. I used to tell her that if she ever ran out, to call me and I would get her some. Her attitude, mental well being, and general outlook etc were so much better. At any rate, I do want to thank everyone who has shared their experiences. I literally devour threads like this-anything to help me better understand the flip side of the B/F coin. __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.