Your relationship with your mom.

SnackTime · 08-21-2011, 09:20 AM

I am very close to my mother, especially for the last 20 years. We had MAJOR issues when I first came out and we did not talk for approximately a year. My family was faced with almost losing her in a car accident and it hit me the hardest. When something like this happens it changes our perspective on EVERYTHING. We repaired everything within a few months after the unthinkable and now we are closer than ever. She is truly an amazing woman! She is my hero and I am blessed to have a second chance with her!

Oiler41 · 08-21-2011, 09:56 AM

My mom and I were pretty close. When I came out at age 16, things didn't go so smoothly. Coming out at 16, in Mississippi, in the perfect upper middle class, Republican, 3 child family was not easy. Things were pretty bumpy until I turned 18 and moved out (thinking I had the world by the tail, only to learn later that IT had ME). But she never turned her back on me; no one in my family did.

Within only a few years time, my mother came to accept me for who I am. After a while, it got to the point such that when I was living away from her, she would keep me caught up on the gay gossip in the little town in Mississippi I grew up in, lol. Years later, when I was getting ready to head to D.C. to march with the uniformed military contingent at the March on Washington in 1993, she was actually telling her friends about it, and again for the Millenium March on Washington.

We still had our rough moments over the years, but when she passed in 2007, I lost my greatest ally, advocate and supporter. She was always there no matter what. I miss her still. She was a great lady.

Glynn

Strappie · 08-21-2011, 09:58 AM

My Mom is my everything I don't need to say much more. She is my Rock and my families Rock!

I can only hope to one day I find a partner just as amazing as her!

MissItalianDiva · 08-21-2011, 10:01 AM

My mother is the most amazing woman I know! She is everything I have ever wanted to be. Kind,caring,loving,compassionate and throughout life and the process of building a family she has maintained her own sense of self.

If I can somehow manage to be even half of who my mother is then I will be one amazing individual

bigbutchmistie · 08-21-2011, 10:27 AM

Well I have 3 so let me explain...

My biological mom Debbi U. and I were close up until I was taken away at the age of 2 to be put in foster care. From then on up until 6 I was in and out of foster homes. Which brings me to "mom" number two.

Her name was Darlene (which is my middle name). She had foster kids and kids of her own. Her and her husband loved kids and had taken a liking to my brother and I. She wanted to adopt my brother and I and was in the process and as fate would have it got breast cancer and wasnt expected to live 6 months. She knew of a couple who turned out to be my adopted parents who were wanting a boy. They were friends of friends. They had taken some child classes from her she had taught. They adopted us, and that will bring me to my adopted mom.

I have never met a more cold and hateful woman in all of my life. Debbie D. certainly had no reason being a mother. Every thing a mother should be nurturing, affecionate, tender, loving, etc she was not with me. She was with my brother but not me. It has taken me years of counseling to get over hating her. Now, I just feel sorry for the human she is. We were never close growing up and now dont talk at all. Its how it should be.

However, I am glad I was able to renew a relationship with my biological mom before she passed. And now my relationship with Darlene is blooming. She and I have recently had a conversation where she sat at supper crying because she never wanted to give my brother and I away. She wanted to adopt us and apologized for putting me with my adopted family. It broke my heart. To see her so torn up after all these years about it. This woman who even after all these years has a closet full of photo albums of just pics of me and my brother growing up. I of course explained to her that things happen for a reason we always dont know what it is. But things happened as they were supposed to.. Now matter how screwed up it is.

She considers me her daughter, knows I am gay, and we hang out from time to time. I guess you could say she is the closest thing to family I have. And I am truly grateful for her.

clay · 08-22-2011, 06:35 PM

[COLOR="Blue"]My mom...I loved her..always...despite the fact she gave me away at age 8 for adoption, then wanted me back at age 13, as "more dependents for my Navy stepdad meant "more money"..so I spent 5 years, being raised like a military recruit. Subjected to verbal abuse, and physical..the "steel toe in the ass" kind, made to "fall out of the rack" at o dark thirty am for inspection" and many other forms of "discipline" for her "three bastards" ....and she stood silently by..saying well he DID take me and my 3 bastards and give us a place...excuse me, I am NOT a bastard, you were married to my daddy when I was born...that does NOT constitute a "bastard".
Anyway, once she found out I was gay, I was the outcast from the family! That was okay because I had friends and close folks who were ACTUALLY family! AND I was always loved..by someone...somewhere...
When she was diagnosed with Terminal Stage IV Bone/lung cancer, my two brothers said well YOU aqre the girl it is YOUR place to care for her. SO I was coming out of a bad relationship, so I sold my half of the home, sold my motorcycle, sold my motor home..and went "home" to care for her the last 3 months of her life...BY MYSELF! and I would do so again..I loved her..for to me, blood family love never dies... and just before she died, she said is there any way at all you would be "straight, sister? I said no ma'am, NOT an option. I was BORN this way, and I will DIE this way! I was holding her in my arms when she died, and I though wow..I came into this world in hers, and she left this world in mine...how ironic!
There is much more I could add...but it is not relevant..I loved her..unconditionally..she didn't me..plain and simple ..and I have moved on...it serves no one any good to hold a grudge, or to live in the past. I am a much stronger individual..I am capable of loving..in spite of..and I WANT to be this way! My life now is much different, I am even more stronger, and I have "let go...for to keep fighting an old issue gives it power, and if I give it power, it will last forever!!...This is for MYSELF alone...and works for ME alone...
Thanks for the "space" to write this...Clay{COLOR]

rustedrims · 12-31-2011, 12:00 AM

I have been taking my Mom to Indiana for a few years now..We have family that live there and it is her little vacation away from my mean and nasty Dad..It is a 4 hour drive one way..I guess it was getting the best of me on telling her that i was gay..I decided to tell her in the car on the way home..Figured she couldnt get up and walk away from the conversation..I was so nervous and had my stomach in knots..We were getting close to Ohio and i said to myself that i would tell her when we crossed into Ohio..There we were crossing the line..Got real nervous and probly went another 50 miles before i told her that i had something to tell her..She said ok..So i finally took a big deep breath and i just said Mom i am gay..I looked straight ahead at the road and waited for her reply trying to prepare for her answer..I know what ever she said i had to remember that i was driving and i needed to consentrate on that first..Waiting for her answer and of all the things that could have been said all she was Yeah i know..Felt a little relief after hearing that..I asked her why she didnt say something to me earlier and she said she was waiting for me to say something first..Of course i asked if anyone has said anything about me in the family..She said she hasnt heard anything..This is the way i have always been so we all grew up with it..Iwas glad to hear that..She said some friends have talked to her about my lifestyle..I asked her what she said to them and her reply was she is my kid and i love her and she does..She tells me that she loves me all the time..She does support me and has accepted my girlfriends in the past..My sister and brother does to..They are welcomed in their homes with me..At times i feel a little bit uncomfortable but i deal with it..
I feel bad for the rest of you in here that has had trouble in the past..You should meet my mom..She would give you all a hug and you would feel loved by her even if she doesnt know you..

s..

Skittlesluver · 01-25-2012, 09:51 PM

My mom is the one person in my life who never abandoned, abuse or took advantage of me. I love her with all my heart and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. She is there for me through thick and thin. I can never repay her for all she has done..all I can do is be there for her.

08-21-2011, 09:20 AM	#1
SnackTime Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: UNattainable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Feeling the ocean breeze... Posts: 4,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,393 Thanked 13,228 Times in 2,883 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I am very close to my mother, especially for the last 20 years. We had MAJOR issues when I first came out and we did not talk for approximately a year. My family was faced with almost losing her in a car accident and it hit me the hardest. When something like this happens it changes our perspective on EVERYTHING. We repaired everything within a few months after the unthinkable and now we are closer than ever. She is truly an amazing woman! She is my hero and I am blessed to have a second chance with her! __________________ "There's something to be said for not saying anything"

08-22-2011, 06:35 PM	#6
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,667 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	[COLOR="Blue"]My mom...I loved her..always...despite the fact she gave me away at age 8 for adoption, then wanted me back at age 13, as "more dependents for my Navy stepdad meant "more money"..so I spent 5 years, being raised like a military recruit. Subjected to verbal abuse, and physical..the "steel toe in the ass" kind, made to "fall out of the rack" at o dark thirty am for inspection" and many other forms of "discipline" for her "three bastards" ....and she stood silently by..saying well he DID take me and my 3 bastards and give us a place...excuse me, I am NOT a bastard, you were married to my daddy when I was born...that does NOT constitute a "bastard". Anyway, once she found out I was gay, I was the outcast from the family! That was okay because I had friends and close folks who were ACTUALLY family! AND I was always loved..by someone...somewhere... When she was diagnosed with Terminal Stage IV Bone/lung cancer, my two brothers said well YOU aqre the girl it is YOUR place to care for her. SO I was coming out of a bad relationship, so I sold my half of the home, sold my motorcycle, sold my motor home..and went "home" to care for her the last 3 months of her life...BY MYSELF! and I would do so again..I loved her..for to me, blood family love never dies... and just before she died, she said is there any way at all you would be "straight, sister? I said no ma'am, NOT an option. I was BORN this way, and I will DIE this way! I was holding her in my arms when she died, and I though wow..I came into this world in hers, and she left this world in mine...how ironic! There is much more I could add...but it is not relevant..I loved her..unconditionally..she didn't me..plain and simple ..and I have moved on...it serves no one any good to hold a grudge, or to live in the past. I am a much stronger individual..I am capable of loving..in spite of..and I WANT to be this way! My life now is much different, I am even more stronger, and I have "let go...for to keep fighting an old issue gives it power, and if I give it power, it will last forever!!...This is for MYSELF alone...and works for ME alone... Thanks for the "space" to write this...Clay{COLOR] __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

01-25-2012, 09:51 PM	#8
Skittlesluver Member How Do You Identify?: Casual Dreamer Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Deep In The Heart Of Texas Posts: 233 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 190 Thanked 561 Times in 191 Posts Rep Power: 8243082	My mom is the one person in my life who never abandoned, abuse or took advantage of me. I love her with all my heart and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. She is there for me through thick and thin. I can never repay her for all she has done..all I can do is be there for her. __________________ “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish"

08-21-2011, 09:56 AM	#2
Oiler41 Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Happily Single! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nunya Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,574 Times in 789 Posts Rep Power: 18276167	My mom and I were pretty close. When I came out at age 16, things didn't go so smoothly. Coming out at 16, in Mississippi, in the perfect upper middle class, Republican, 3 child family was not easy. Things were pretty bumpy until I turned 18 and moved out (thinking I had the world by the tail, only to learn later that IT had ME). But she never turned her back on me; no one in my family did. Within only a few years time, my mother came to accept me for who I am. After a while, it got to the point such that when I was living away from her, she would keep me caught up on the gay gossip in the little town in Mississippi I grew up in, lol. Years later, when I was getting ready to head to D.C. to march with the uniformed military contingent at the March on Washington in 1993, she was actually telling her friends about it, and again for the Millenium March on Washington. We still had our rough moments over the years, but when she passed in 2007, I lost my greatest ally, advocate and supporter. She was always there no matter what. I miss her still. She was a great lady. Glynn

08-21-2011, 09:58 AM	#3
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	My Mom is my everything I don't need to say much more. She is my Rock and my families Rock! I can only hope to one day I find a partner just as amazing as her!

08-21-2011, 10:01 AM	#4
MissItalianDiva Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Miss Twiggy Preferred Pronoun?: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and that shit doesn't sound atrocious! Relationship Status: divorce happens..all that glitters ain't gold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SLC Utah Posts: 2,284 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,768 Thanked 7,159 Times in 1,793 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	My mother is the most amazing woman I know! She is everything I have ever wanted to be. Kind,caring,loving,compassionate and throughout life and the process of building a family she has maintained her own sense of self. If I can somehow manage to be even half of who my mother is then I will be one amazing individual

08-21-2011, 10:27 AM	#5
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Well I have 3 so let me explain... My biological mom Debbi U. and I were close up until I was taken away at the age of 2 to be put in foster care. From then on up until 6 I was in and out of foster homes. Which brings me to "mom" number two. Her name was Darlene (which is my middle name). She had foster kids and kids of her own. Her and her husband loved kids and had taken a liking to my brother and I. She wanted to adopt my brother and I and was in the process and as fate would have it got breast cancer and wasnt expected to live 6 months. She knew of a couple who turned out to be my adopted parents who were wanting a boy. They were friends of friends. They had taken some child classes from her she had taught. They adopted us, and that will bring me to my adopted mom. I have never met a more cold and hateful woman in all of my life. Debbie D. certainly had no reason being a mother. Every thing a mother should be nurturing, affecionate, tender, loving, etc she was not with me. She was with my brother but not me. It has taken me years of counseling to get over hating her. Now, I just feel sorry for the human she is. We were never close growing up and now dont talk at all. Its how it should be. However, I am glad I was able to renew a relationship with my biological mom before she passed. And now my relationship with Darlene is blooming. She and I have recently had a conversation where she sat at supper crying because she never wanted to give my brother and I away. She wanted to adopt us and apologized for putting me with my adopted family. It broke my heart. To see her so torn up after all these years about it. This woman who even after all these years has a closet full of photo albums of just pics of me and my brother growing up. I of course explained to her that things happen for a reason we always dont know what it is. But things happened as they were supposed to.. Now matter how screwed up it is. She considers me her daughter, knows I am gay, and we hang out from time to time. I guess you could say she is the closest thing to family I have. And I am truly grateful for her.

12-31-2011, 12:00 AM	#7
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I have been taking my Mom to Indiana for a few years now..We have family that live there and it is her little vacation away from my mean and nasty Dad..It is a 4 hour drive one way..I guess it was getting the best of me on telling her that i was gay..I decided to tell her in the car on the way home..Figured she couldnt get up and walk away from the conversation..I was so nervous and had my stomach in knots..We were getting close to Ohio and i said to myself that i would tell her when we crossed into Ohio..There we were crossing the line..Got real nervous and probly went another 50 miles before i told her that i had something to tell her..She said ok..So i finally took a big deep breath and i just said Mom i am gay..I looked straight ahead at the road and waited for her reply trying to prepare for her answer..I know what ever she said i had to remember that i was driving and i needed to consentrate on that first..Waiting for her answer and of all the things that could have been said all she was Yeah i know..Felt a little relief after hearing that..I asked her why she didnt say something to me earlier and she said she was waiting for me to say something first..Of course i asked if anyone has said anything about me in the family..She said she hasnt heard anything..This is the way i have always been so we all grew up with it..Iwas glad to hear that..She said some friends have talked to her about my lifestyle..I asked her what she said to them and her reply was she is my kid and i love her and she does..She tells me that she loves me all the time..She does support me and has accepted my girlfriends in the past..My sister and brother does to..They are welcomed in their homes with me..At times i feel a little bit uncomfortable but i deal with it.. I feel bad for the rest of you in here that has had trouble in the past..You should meet my mom..She would give you all a hug and you would feel loved by her even if she doesnt know you.. s..