Shit Heard Around this House!!

always2late · 08-22-2011, 05:40 PM

My friend and I discussing how fast our kids are growing up:

L: Oh my God, they are getting so big so fast. It makes me feel so old. Do you realize I'm almost 28?

Me: Are you crazy?? I WISH I was 28! You DO realize I'm 43 right?

L: Yeah, but you're like the Halle Berry 43 and I'm the Gary Coleman 28!!

*I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants...sigh another sign of getting older. LOL*

christie · 08-23-2011, 09:04 PM

So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning.

If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes.

We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch.

Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I *might* have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!"

I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil!

Jess · 08-23-2011, 09:09 PM

hrmph... I have YET to have an accident in a parking lot... safety first baby, I gots precious cargo on board!

Kenna · 08-23-2011, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918

So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning.

If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes.

We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch.

Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I *might* have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!"

I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

hrmph... I have YET to have an accident in a parking lot... safety first baby, I gots precious cargo on board!

priceless!! safety first, indeed. At least you weren't like me, sitting in a parked car waiting on my son...when a woman in an SUV hit me, then proceeded to say "I was on the cell phone and didn't see you."

Did someone mention that it would take less time to walk home from Wally World?

Gemme · 08-24-2011, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918

So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning.

If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes.

We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch.

Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I *might* have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!"

I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil!

I tend to take a while to get going too, however, what happens when I get in the car is the following:

get in
pull skirt in, if wearing one, cuz they always drag
shut door
lock door
turn key
a/c on

THEN, and only then, I fiddle with the other stuff.

I melt too.

DapperButch · 08-25-2011, 05:22 AM

Doesn't anybody open the windows to get all the hot air out before turning on the A/C? Only for a moment or two. As you take your turns to ride through/get out of the parking lot the cross winds really blow the hot air out. Much more efficient, I think!

Of course, I get in the car and immediately start moving as soon as the seat belt clicks.

Andrea · 08-27-2011, 02:42 PM

It was our 4th anniversary and began with an early morning snuggle. Rene surprised me by bringing me flowers at work. I surprised him by taking the rest of the day off.

We went for dinner at our favorite restaurant and had a wonderful time and had a great time celebrating our love. We then sat on our patio and enjoyed the breeze and each others company. I had some things to do inside so bent and kissed his cheek as I always do.

Me: I love you, whiskers and all.

There is a pause as I began walking toward the house.....

Rene: Ditto!!

Wonder if there will be a 5th anniversary.

girl_dee · 09-18-2011, 07:38 AM

"you can let those cupcakes cookies cool up there beside the whips"

weatherboi · 09-29-2011, 05:52 AM

"it would suck to be cupid"

Bard · 02-01-2012, 12:12 AM

"ok lay it on me"....

"stop licking my ass my ass"

"no biting off the nipples"

things said to the dog today

and not by me

OK add get off my hair to the list

bright_arrow · 02-01-2012, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard

"ok lay it on me"....

"stop licking my ass my ass"

"no biting off the nipples"

things said to the dog today

and not by me

OK add get off my hair to the list

Dog likes to abuse me

Maria · 02-03-2012, 12:26 PM

From a text:

M1: Come be wheat and sugar free with me this weekend. I have no lead water, a normal pap, and fresh basil.

M2: You had me at normal pap.

M1: Ha!

M2: Too bad you don't have a juicer.

M1: That can be changed....

chai~ · 02-20-2012, 08:47 PM

"ooowww!!! I just took you're vibrator to my head!!!"

I asked for a pillow.
The pillow was thrown at my head.
The pillow has a built in "massager/vibrator".
Nuff said!

always2late · 02-21-2012, 11:07 AM

Both of us half-asleep...

Hym: Did you know Ipecac gets rid of ticks

Me:

Queerasfck · 02-29-2012, 08:53 PM

Phone conversation.

Me: "I'm going to pack in Portland."

She: "me too, 24/7"

Kenna · 02-29-2012, 09:23 PM

Me: ...Skip, why don't you clean Willy's ears?
Blade: ... (speaking as Skip's voice) cause I don't like his ears and he doesn't like my tongue "...

cinnamongrrl · 07-08-2012, 03:39 PM

Teddy (to man in the middle of the street) are you gonna cross or what?!?
HORN BEEPS....waving of hand out the window.....swearing ensues
Me: Honey, that's a cop directing traffic.
Teddy: no its not....oh yes it is.....

08-22-2011, 05:40 PM	#1
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	My friend and I discussing how fast our kids are growing up: L: Oh my God, they are getting so big so fast. It makes me feel so old. Do you realize I'm almost 28? Me: Are you crazy?? I WISH I was 28! You DO realize I'm 43 right? L: Yeah, but you're like the Halle Berry 43 and I'm the Gary Coleman 28!! I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants...sigh another sign of getting older. LOL __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

08-25-2011, 05:22 AM	#6
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,812 Times in 5,772 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Doesn't anybody open the windows to get all the hot air out before turning on the A/C? Only for a moment or two. As you take your turns to ride through/get out of the parking lot the cross winds really blow the hot air out. Much more efficient, I think! Of course, I get in the car and immediately start moving as soon as the seat belt clicks. __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

08-27-2011, 02:42 PM	#7
Andrea Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Mature Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Her/She Relationship Status: I heart Rene Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: California Posts: 3,755 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,427 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,022 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	It was our 4th anniversary and began with an early morning snuggle. Rene surprised me by bringing me flowers at work. I surprised him by taking the rest of the day off. We went for dinner at our favorite restaurant and had a wonderful time and had a great time celebrating our love. We then sat on our patio and enjoyed the breeze and each others company. I had some things to do inside so bent and kissed his cheek as I always do. Me: I love you, whiskers and all. There is a pause as I began walking toward the house..... Rene: Ditto!! Wonder if there will be a 5th anniversary. __________________ I am very spoiled! What we think about and thank about, we bring about! Today I will treat my body with love and respect.

09-29-2011, 05:52 AM	#9
weatherboi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?: Hey boy!!! Relationship Status: counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!! Posts: 6,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,797 Thanked 12,549 Times in 2,993 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	"it would suck to be cupid" __________________

02-01-2012, 12:12 AM	#10
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	"ok lay it on me".... "stop licking my ass my ass" "no biting off the nipples" things said to the dog today and not by me OK add get off my hair to the list __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

08-23-2011, 09:04 PM	#2
christie Member How Do You Identify?: A Force with which to be reckoned Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice... Relationship Status: I call her Mine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Transplanted to the PNW Posts: 1,246 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,552 Thanked 2,476 Times in 706 Posts Rep Power: 14753262	So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning. If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes. We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch. Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I might have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!" I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil!

08-23-2011, 09:09 PM	#3
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts Rep Power: 0	hrmph... I have YET to have an accident in a parking lot... safety first baby, I gots precious cargo on board!

09-18-2011, 07:38 AM	#8
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,831 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	"you can let those cupcakes cookies cool up there beside the whips"

02-03-2012, 12:26 PM	#12
Maria Member How Do You Identify?: Regular, with sugar Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: . Posts: 681 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 472 Thanked 1,333 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	no koment From a text: M1: Come be wheat and sugar free with me this weekend. I have no lead water, a normal pap, and fresh basil. M2: You had me at normal pap. M1: Ha! M2: Too bad you don't have a juicer. M1: That can be changed....

02-20-2012, 08:47 PM	#13
chai~ Member How Do You Identify?: Self possessed Aquarian Preferred Pronoun?: Don't call me baby~ Relationship Status: Deliciously single and loving it. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: lotus land Posts: 1,173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,937 Thanked 3,382 Times in 864 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	"ooowww!!! I just took you're vibrator to my head!!!" I asked for a pillow. The pillow was thrown at my head. The pillow has a built in "massager/vibrator". Nuff said!

02-21-2012, 11:07 AM	#14
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Both of us half-asleep... Hym: Did you know Ipecac gets rid of ticks Me: __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

02-29-2012, 08:53 PM	#15
Queerasfck Senior Member How Do You Identify?: still ballin' Relationship Status: Triple X Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: west side Posts: 2,544 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,716 Thanked 6,488 Times in 1,638 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	24/7 Phone conversation. Me: "I'm going to pack in Portland." She: "me too, 24/7" __________________ http://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk...28750fb328.jpg

02-29-2012, 09:23 PM	#16
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Me: ...Skip, why don't you clean Willy's ears? Blade: ... (speaking as Skip's voice) cause I don't like his ears and he doesn't like my tongue "...

07-08-2012, 03:39 PM	#17
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,661 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,232 Thanked 27,597 Times in 6,955 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	shit heard while driving.... :) Teddy (to man in the middle of the street) are you gonna cross or what?!? HORN BEEPS....waving of hand out the window.....swearing ensues Me: Honey, that's a cop directing traffic. Teddy: no its not....oh yes it is.....