REALLY? - Some things are common sense

tapu · 08-23-2011, 10:40 AM

This warning came with one of those things you put in water and it soaks it up and gets really big. (Weird enough that this one was shaped like a lobster.):

The magic lobster is not for eating. It is for the observation and enjoyment of the swelling.

Gemme · 08-23-2011, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tapu

This warning came with one of those things you put in water and it soaks it up and gets really big. (Weird enough that this one was shaped like a lobster.):

The magic lobster is not for eating. It is for the observation and enjoyment of the swelling.

I can feel a 'that's what she said' in there, somewhere.

Gemme · 08-23-2011, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

The last fue years I ran my training stable I had this guy that worked for me,I wrote everything I needed done daily on paper..explaneing very well on what it was,we even went over it verbaly before the start of the day..ond day about 20 minits into the work day he came in to ask a question about watering the outside pens...wich end to start from.Yeah,I know..I told him not to over run the tanks to much and not to flood the area around the tanks cause it all ran down to the far end so would flood the shed.yeaaah u got it,at least twice a week he would leave the water on thus flooding the last pen..water flows down hill damit.

Poo too, so I guess if something had to go, it's better that it was water.

*grin*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

YES - Like those people in California who got sued because while they were off on vacation, someone's 3-year-old kid CLIMBED A FENCE and got into their pool and drowned.

And I'm thinking those parents had some balls to sue the owners of the pool because it was their responsibility to watch their own damn kid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by always2late

Warning on the side of my bottle of window cleaner: WARNING! EYE IRRITANT..Keep away from eyes. Do not spray in or near eyes.

Does this mean that at one time someone could not get the streaks off their windows and decided, perhaps, that the streaks were actually on their eyes? And even sadder...why does that possibility not even surprise me anymore?

Most likely, someone accidentally squirted themselves in the eye. That's why there are sometimes warnings to point the product away from you to use.

Tcountry · 09-14-2012, 02:03 AM

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
And Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

laruss · 09-14-2012, 05:25 AM

Product Warnings:

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.

"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

08-23-2011, 10:40 AM	#1
tapu Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Understated butch. Preferred Pronoun?: I Relationship Status: Party of One Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Maine Posts: 1,654 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,324 Thanked 3,115 Times in 1,103 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	This warning came with one of those things you put in water and it soaks it up and gets really big. (Weird enough that this one was shaped like a lobster.): The magic lobster is not for eating. It is for the observation and enjoyment of the swelling. __________________ Really? That's not funny to you?

09-14-2012, 02:03 AM	#4
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	email fwd...Obit Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; And Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

09-14-2012, 05:25 AM	#5
laruss Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She or Goddess Relationship Status: Settled in Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Edmonton Alberta Posts: 1,322 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,849 Thanked 5,329 Times in 1,045 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	People must be protected from themselves Product Warnings: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. __________________ Creativity is a drug I can't do without. -Cecil B. DeMille