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08-24-2011, 06:19 PM
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#1 |
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Infamous Member
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femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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The only access i had to being a lesbian was very limited here where i grew up. Most all the gay/queer people that i knew and know here in town, at gay bars, were/are butch or Ftm or masculine. I felt so out of place. They looked at me funny, they stoopped talking when i walked up to them, they thought i was odd or at least that is how i perceived it. They were not into "femmes" i know that now. But, it left me lost. I felt abandoned by my own community. I didn't fit in the straight world or what i knew of the gay world.
My first real girlfriend was butch which is what i've always been attracted to. I remember on our 2nd or 3rd date i appologized for being feminine. I felt embarressed by it, as if i were a freak in the gay world. I even offered to "butch up" a little or try to. She looked at me and said "Are you freaking kidding me? Your exactly what i like, don't you dare change a thing". I was shocked someone could be attracted to my femininity. But, not until i came online and found bf sites did i realize i had an actual ID which was femme. That there are others "like" me out there and i didn't have to change who i was. That i was ok. It is so wonderful to belong some where. No matter how we dress, grow our hair, walk, talk, love or laugh, we are a sisterhood. I am so honored to be a part of that.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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08-24-2011, 07:57 PM
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#2 |
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Member
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dorky queer femme bottom Preferred Pronoun?:
feminine ones Relationship Status:
single, dammit. 
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Aw, this post gave me the warm fuzzies.
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"If I'm in a room full of cookies, the cookies ain't got no damn chance." - Charles Barkley The meaning behind my screen name: |
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08-24-2011, 08:03 PM
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#3 |
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Infamous Member
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Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011
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I totally agree femme is not about make-up, heels, etc. Never wear heels or use makeup, well ok, occasionally I will powder my nose if it is shiny and I guess I have been known to curl my eyelashes-hey I like how it looks.
I wear my hair long just because it feels like *me*. Joking aside, those are superficial things. To me, femme is an essence, the counterpoint to a butch, the ying and yang, my complement, if you will. The same way I can spot a butch a mile away in a snowstorm, I can spot a femme, regardless of how she is dressed.
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~Anya~  Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner |
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08-26-2011, 12:20 AM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
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I like this thread. I like reading about all my sisters and the diversity that is femme. And I totally agree with a post I read [I'm sorry I forget which it was] where someone called it an 'essence'. To me that's exactly what it is. While I differ than a lot of everyone posting here in that I am very femme in appearance and mannerisms - and I'm very traditional ofos when it comes to relationships and our roles in them, this thing we call 'femme' is indeed more than clothes, accessories or personal style. It's something you either have or do not have, you are or are not. Again, it is that essence spoken of. I first knew I was femme the moment I fell in love with my first butch. I think that was the moment I also became a woman.
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Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity
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08-26-2011, 04:11 AM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
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I wasn't sure that I was a Femme for awhile. I knew I liked being really femine and was attracted to more masculine women. When I was talking about this to my cousin (who is a Butch), hy pointed out that I was a Femme and explained things to me. I am out but it was easy for me since my cousin was out before I was. Because of my cousin being a Butch, my family automatically thought that all gay people were like hy was and wouldn't believe that I was gay because of that
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08-24-2011, 08:04 PM
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#6 |
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Practically Lives Here
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Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
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I knew I was femme when I stumbled onto the dash site and sat there, reading pages of definitions and reading oodles of threads on identity and presentation and I had an AHA! moment.
I found myself through others. The more I read cemented my feeling of finally belonging to something....belonging somewhere...in this world. My unique presentation of femme has been evolving through the years and I'm sure will continue to evolve. As mentioned, it's not in the hair or clothes or even the mannerisms. For me, it's in the blood. |
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08-24-2011, 08:24 PM
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#7 | |
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Infamous Member
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femme Preferred Pronoun?:
femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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Quote:
What a beautiful and significant and life altering line that is Gemme...thank you for that. Isn't that just amazing? I hardly ever wear heels and i like it that way. I wear t-shirts and shorts and tennis shoes or sandals. I don't even wear dresses all that much and just on special occasions. I wear black jeans and boots and my hair in a pony tail a lot of the time. I don't appologize for that. I am ME. I have some very feminine traits as well and i do not appologize for that either. We are all so unique and different and united. How wonderful is that.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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I'm misunderestimated. 
Hybrid Mode
