Ask a trans person!

sanee66 · 08-29-2011, 10:36 PM

HI there all
I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

Corkey · 08-29-2011, 10:43 PM

Um some clarification I feel is in order. How I have sex is not who I am. Transgender is not the same as Transexual, except when one claims that as their Identity. Masculine energy can be claimed by Femmes, Butches and Transgendered individuals. Femmes strap, Butches strap, Trans strap, and there are plenty who don't.
I hope you will do some reading in the threads and understand that sex isn't who people are.
Welcome to the site.

Greyson · 08-29-2011, 10:54 PM

First welcome to the site. There is a great deal of material here to read on this site. Do a thread search. You will find threads started by "Significant Others" of Trans and/or Butches discussing similar questions you have. I would say, read the words carefully of what people are saying. Try not to color what you are reading with your own subjectivity. If you are not sure of what the poster is saying, go ahead and ask them for clairifacation. Remember that commuication requires listening as well as talking. ( I have to remind myself of that one myself.)

Finally, do not personalize posts you are reading. Evaluate the information, "take what you want, and leave the rest."

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

HI there all
I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

sanee66 · 08-29-2011, 11:20 PM

sorry about the post, just hard to express myself sometimes. I know what a person does is not what they are and i will try to figure out what i am wanting to say and express it better. just a small town girl who never really had anywhere to discuss this type of thing before. Sorry again

DapperButch · 08-30-2011, 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

sorry about the post, just hard to express myself sometimes. I know what a person does is not what they are and i will try to figure out what i am wanting to say and express it better. just a small town girl who never really had anywhere to discuss this type of thing before. Sorry again

Hi, sanee. I know Corkey and he didn't mean any harm! He is a good guy.

I hear you saying that you are seeking a masculine energy person who straps when making love. Just an FYI: You will find butches who identify as male and strap, but will also find butches who identify as female who strap. So, if the issue for you is the way they make love, you may find that in either identifying butch.

Then of course you have men who identify as transgender or transsexual and may or may not take testosterone. Often they strap, as well (you just need to ask!)

I hear you that it is hard to find people (butches/transmen) in small towns.

There is a general singles thread here (but I don't believe it is a "pick up" thread), and I think that there are some butch/femme/trans dating sites. You could ask about that in the singles thread. I think there is also a singles femme/transguys thread, as well.

Welcome to the site and I hope that it makes you feel less alone as a femme (check out the femme zone for some connection with other femmes!)

Corkey · 08-30-2011, 05:21 PM

I'm just blunt, not much emotion attached to logic and theory, except if its personal, which this wasn't. I'm married so I came to the question in an educational and informative vein.
Dapper's right my bark is worse than my bite, unless one is on the receiving end of the bite.

sanee66 · 08-30-2011, 08:07 PM

Hey no worries, just hard to express myself, and not always sure what different terms would mean. I grew up in a small town and moved close to Memphis about 7 years ago. Just started getting out last year at the local center and meeting other people and doing things with them. They are a great bunch of women and going there probably saved me since i was having a hard time personally when i first went. I just know that I miss that male energy I had been around for years and am still looking for it. Once again, sorry if i had offended anyone.

Corkey · 08-30-2011, 08:24 PM

We're a thick skinned bunch no worries.

The Oopster · 08-30-2011, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

Hey no worries, just hard to express myself, and not always sure what different terms would mean. I grew up in a small town and moved close to Memphis about 7 years ago. Just started getting out last year at the local center and meeting other people and doing things with them. They are a great bunch of women and going there probably saved me since i was having a hard time personally when i first went. I just know that I miss that male energy I had been around for years and am still looking for it. Once again, sorry if i had offended anyone.

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/index.php?pageid=Reunion

I suggest if you live near memphis that you make plans to go to little rock in october for the reunion (above link) You'll find lots of the energy there!

Ebon · 08-30-2011, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

HI there all
I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

That would be frustrating. For the longest time I did not know where I fit into the community because I was attracted to femininity and the types of women that wore make up, high heels etc were hard to come by. They were either taken or straight. If I were you I would maybe find a queer group/church or bar if that's your scene close by and start meeting people.

kannon · 08-30-2011, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanee66

HI there all
I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

I understand what you're saying about male energy. I display my own brand. I'm totally the opposite from Corkey. How I express myself sexually is a part of who I am. A reflection of my desires, power, vulnerability, thoughts, past experiences, etc. My behavior, whether its in the bedroom, at work,or at play is a part of me. I don't think that energy is necessarily something you see but feel. Be ready cause when it happens....Sparks!!!

08-29-2011, 10:36 PM	#1
sanee66 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ms Posts: 139 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 173 Thanked 306 Times in 95 Posts Rep Power: 3766495	femme that loves trans HI there all I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

08-29-2011, 10:43 PM	#2
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Um some clarification I feel is in order. How I have sex is not who I am. Transgender is not the same as Transexual, except when one claims that as their Identity. Masculine energy can be claimed by Femmes, Butches and Transgendered individuals. Femmes strap, Butches strap, Trans strap, and there are plenty who don't. I hope you will do some reading in the threads and understand that sex isn't who people are. Welcome to the site. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

08-30-2011, 05:21 PM	#6
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I'm just blunt, not much emotion attached to logic and theory, except if its personal, which this wasn't. I'm married so I came to the question in an educational and informative vein. Dapper's right my bark is worse than my bite, unless one is on the receiving end of the bite. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

08-30-2011, 08:24 PM	#8
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	We're a thick skinned bunch no worries. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

08-29-2011, 11:20 PM	#4
sanee66 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ms Posts: 139 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 173 Thanked 306 Times in 95 Posts Rep Power: 3766495	sorry about the post, just hard to express myself sometimes. I know what a person does is not what they are and i will try to figure out what i am wanting to say and express it better. just a small town girl who never really had anywhere to discuss this type of thing before. Sorry again

08-30-2011, 08:07 PM	#7
sanee66 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ms Posts: 139 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 173 Thanked 306 Times in 95 Posts Rep Power: 3766495	Hey no worries, just hard to express myself, and not always sure what different terms would mean. I grew up in a small town and moved close to Memphis about 7 years ago. Just started getting out last year at the local center and meeting other people and doing things with them. They are a great bunch of women and going there probably saved me since i was having a hard time personally when i first went. I just know that I miss that male energy I had been around for years and am still looking for it. Once again, sorry if i had offended anyone.