Is revenge OK?

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

I am not trying to start a war. I think about things a lot. I have been puzzling over the concept of revenge for about a month or so and I am looking for some thoughtful input on the issue.

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

NOTE: I am not interested in a heated emotional smack-down, but rather a calm and thoughtful debate with a respectful exchange of ideas and rational analysis, if possible.

This has been on my mind of late because of a spiritual discussion I was having with someone in RL.

If anyone knows of a board that is better suited for this sort of post, please PM me. I would love to find such a board for this sort of thing.

Well there's one thing I am certain about: revenge and justice are two totally separate things.

[Diva]

When I was young, I always thought revenge would be sweet when someone had wronged me. I never acted on it, as I kept hearing my Mom's damned sweet voice in my ear.....

Now that I'm older, I find that revenge isn't necessary at all.....what goes around comes around. Every ill deed will come back to 'haunt' them in some form or fashion. And I just don't have the energy to make a plan, first of all; and second, I'm SO not giving them my power. Because if I try to get even, that's exactly what will have happened.

[Rockinonahigh]

Revenge,once I wanted to give someone a huge dose of it,I never did.I may well get mad moan and groan for a bit,but in reality its just not in my make up to get revenge on anyone.This person who wronged me got a huge dose of bad flash back karma with a big dish of humble pie wich she choked on for a year or two because when it karma bites someone one the a$$ for doing such wrong to another or group of people, getting over it isnt easy.This person thought she had quite a following in the horse training buisness that when the bottom fell out of it all that she wouldnt have any problem of just contenueing things as they were, only somewhere else,well that didnt happen not by any stretch of the imagination.Now if someone messes with my family, all bets are off because I will use every leagle means to defend my family..I dont know anyone who wouldnt defend there loved ones.

[imperfect_cupcake]

depends on the revenge, I think. The last time I was raped, I was given the opportunity to get some back by giving the dickhead a large piece of overly strong space cake I made. I had told his girlfriend what happened and she was going to dump him right away but we came up with a plan... I'd give her the cake she'd leave it in the fridge (he always ate her sweets, so he'd chow it) she'd then kick him out just before it set in. And this stuff was brain stomping. Most people couldn't tie their shoes after a piece 1/3 the size.

I thought 4 hours of stoned mental anguish and 4 hours of paralysis was better than getting someone from the docs to knee cap him so it was all set to go when my then boyfriend threw a fit about me doing it so I asked for the cake back and it never happened. Still regret I didn't do it.


If someone grabs me sexually, I will slap them/hit them, fullstop. No one ever touches me like that again without my permission - and it's time people fucking thought about what their hands are doing.

I absolutely do not believe in things like death penalties or stalking or things on those level type revenge.

[pajama]

In my younger days I would think "I wish this would happen, or that would befall this/or that bastard" for doing me wrong. But I never thought to take that revenge myself.

When I had a child, I thought what I would do if anyone ever harmed him. In that case I had revenge and an escape plan thoroughly thought out. Because ultimately it would end in someone's death. Thankfully that plan never had to be put into effect. But I would definetly have avenged my child. Even now that he is nearing adulthood, I would still take revenge on certain actions.

As to other forms of revenge, I believe in karma. While it's very hard and often frustrating to sit back and wait for it. I have to have faith that those I percieve as having done me wrong, will some day get their due. I don't turn to revenge because I feel darkened by it when I have thought it about someone. I also believe that what we put out there comes back to us ten-fold.....I can be a twisted evil fuck....I sure don't want that coming back to ME tenfold. LOL

A

[girl_dee]

In my younger angrier days I did seek revenge at times, not in horrible ways but in ways I am not proud of.. now the older, calmer version of me does not seek revenge, and honestly no one in my past deserves it.

In severe cases there is no revenge that would justify the crime... not any that I could invoke, life has a way though. What goes around does come around, and that goes for the bad and the good.

[ruffryder]

no. that's why there is karma. God will take care of the acts of life.

[Reader]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

depends on the revenge, I think. The last time I was raped, I was given the opportunity to get some back by giving the dickhead a large piece of overly strong space cake I made. I had told his girlfriend what happened and she was going to dump him right away but we came up with a plan... I'd give her the cake she'd leave it in the fridge (he always ate her sweets, so he'd chow it) she'd then kick him out just before it set in. And this stuff was brain stomping. Most people couldn't tie their shoes after a piece 1/3 the size.

I thought 4 hours of stoned mental anguish and 4 hours of paralysis was better than getting someone from the docs to knee cap him so it was all set to go when my then boyfriend threw a fit about me doing it so I asked for the cake back and it never happened. Still regret I didn't do it.


If someone grabs me sexually, I will slap them/hit them, fullstop. No one ever touches me like that again without my permission - and it's time people fucking thought about what their hands are doing.

I absolutely do not believe in things like death penalties or stalking or things on those level type revenge.

Sister, I apologize and am sorry for what someone did to you. I apologize as a member of the human society we live in. I am sure you know that you are not alone and I admire your strength in getting through that.

Also, I agree with you that self-defense is not at all the same as revenge. Thanks for sharing that.

[NJFemmie]

Revenge and avenge are separate things.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

Sister, I apologize and am sorry for what someone did to you. I apologize as a member of the human society we live in. I am sure you know that you are not alone and I admire your strength in getting through that.

Also, I agree with you that self-defense is not at all the same as revenge. Thanks for sharing that.

No need to apologise for something you aren't responsible for. it's happened a lot and one of my longest abusers, I have no desire to get revenge from. Most of the people who have raped me, I've never felt that urge. It was just a perfect set up at the time and I have very VERY few regrets in life - that I didn't take it is one.

self defence stops people from continuing - I don't mean that. I mean, you touch me without my permission, I'm going to physically make it so that next time you think about doing that to someone you'll consider they may deck you. Too many dykes grab my tits on night out. WAY too many.

But as for hanging onto things, I actually don't. but if I'm given an opportunity on a silver plater (through the offending party's behaviour) to do something within reason (not going to permanently harm) I'm not shy/hesitant about taking it. But I won't go too far out of my way to bother. And I'm not the gossipy/vendictive type. I don't work that way.

I don't believe in karma, I don't believe in "energies", I don't believe in any form of god. I do believe in harvesting behaviour that one has put out to others because people get sick of the shit though - or putting yourself in harms way from the lifestyle one leads.

I also believe in acting in a way that one feels good about owning. I'm fine with how my attitude around this feels. It doesn't feel icky or nasty or grudging. It feels like a very strong boundary line.

[Blade]

That depends on the situation but for the most part I'm a firm believer in If you are patient enough long enough....what goes around comes around.

[Glenn]

My definition of revenge is an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, and believe it's my right when I'm sure that all my compassion and forgiveness won't stop my enemy from harming me and others.

[Corkey]

Revenge is a waste of emotion and time, it only brings one down to the lowest common denominator. Living the best life one can is the best way to handle those who would do you harm.

[DapperButch]

To answer the, "where should I have put this thread?" question, I would have gone with the "Thinking Harder" forum. But, I don't think anyone cares.

In terms of revenge. No, I don't think it is a good idea. Not healthy for you to hold onto the anger. That shit can tear you up inside.

[atomiczombie]

Ok I am curious: How many of you who feel revenge is a waste of time or that it's not healthy, are in favor of the death penalty?

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Ok I am curious: How many of you who feel revenge is a waste of time or that it's not healthy, are in favor of the death penalty?

I am in favor of the death penalty, but not as revenge. Only the worst of the worst and child murderers. There just isn't enough punishment for that kind of criminal.

[kannon]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Ok I am curious: How many of you who feel revenge is a waste of time or that it's not healthy, are in favor of the death penalty?

Good question. The courts and the politicians would consider the death penalty justice. I think it's an act of revenge. The state avenges the death of the victim. It's said to give closure to the family.

[J. Mason]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Ok I am curious: How many of you who feel revenge is a waste of time or that it's not healthy, are in favor of the death penalty?

I am in favor of the death penalty but believe in revenge when needed.

But again that is just my opinion!

[Reader]

Originally Posted by J. Mason

I am in favor of the death penalty but believe in revenge when needed.

But again that is just my opinion!

I wish I could express myself better on this, but, I wondered if there was an actual scientific, or non-emotional, reason to be against revenge and cruelty, etc.

Like, could someone convince others, using nothing but logical debating skills or science, why revenge or cruelty is "wrong". For example, to my knowledge, animals do not partake in revenge, and they do not seem to particularly be involved in intentional cruelty. Why?