What TO DO in a relationship.....

AlphaDrug · 09-07-2011, 04:47 PM

Always sleep in the same bed.

Compliment each other even on the worst days.

girl_dee · 09-07-2011, 05:01 PM

Compliment your partner! Say the things you said in the days when you were in a lustmance!

Elijah · 09-07-2011, 05:57 PM

For the love that all that is holy, above all else, Make a Good Choice!! Do not excuse bad behavior early in the relationship and think...."If I just love them enough they will change." It's not going to happen, in fact, it almost always gets worse. So trust your gut and believe that you deserve "xyz", whatever that is for you. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. /rant

~Elijah

Tawse · 09-07-2011, 06:27 PM

accept the fact that you're going to argue

make an agreement that if the argument gets too passionate - you'll drop it so that both of you can calm down.

make an agreement that the disagreement will be readdressed when both are in a better head space.

understand that you both need to have your own life, you don't have to share every facet of your lives with each other.

understand that there will be times where it will be much easier to walk away from each other than to stay and work it out - make an agreement that barring "deal breakers" you'll both strive as hard as possible to work it out.

Remember that people tend to make serious changes in their lives every 7 years or so - as a couple you have to learn to grow together. Don't think that the person you're with today will be the same person 10 years from now - or vice versa. We all change.

When it comes to arguing - ask yourself "Is this the beach I want to die on" Chances are - it's not.

When you argue - never call each other names. It will destroy your relationship. Plain and simple. There's not a single successful healthy long term relationship that contains name calling when arguing.

Understand that your sex life will at times not be a significant part of your life - for various reasons.

Also understand that even if your partner doesn't have a high sex drive it doesn't mean that you can't masturbate - or that they wouldn't enjoy watching you do such.. who knows what it may spark

teasing is one thing - picking on a sensitive subject is another thing. Find out the difference for your partner.

you're going to at some point (probably multiple times during the course of the relationship) take each other for granted - it's a natural human condition. Talk to your partner if you feel that is happening.

Learn how to take constructive criticism.

Buy your partner small knickknack gifts randomly just for the hell of it. It lets them know you're thinking about them.

You and your partner should have this room in your relationship that no one else can go to. This is a figurative room - a room where you and he/she share each others secrets - a room where you talk to each other more than and about more subjects than you talk to anyone else. If you find yourself building a room with someone else - and starting to tell that person more than you tell your partner - you're asking for trouble. Serious trouble.

girl_dee · 09-07-2011, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElijahRene

For the love that all that is holy, above all else, Make a Good Choice!! Do not excuse bad behavior early in the relationship and think...."If I just love them enough they will change." It's not going to happen, in fact, it almost always gets worse. So trust your gut and believe that you deserve "xyz", whatever that is for you. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. /rant

~Elijah

Now this is some damn good advice. Although I do find it strange when people say to me * I love you!! Now change ...*

Liam · 09-22-2011, 08:00 AM

Never assume anything.

*Anya* · 09-22-2011, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElijahRene

For the love that all that is holy, above all else, Make a Good Choice!! Do not excuse bad behavior early in the relationship and think...."If I just love them enough they will change." It's not going to happen, in fact, it almost always gets worse. So trust your gut and believe that you deserve "xyz", whatever that is for you. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. /rant

~Elijah

OMG! Truer words have never been spoken.

I still have a hard time forgiving myself for wasting so many years living for that big change and not trusting my own gut and common sense!

If someone cheats on you once: They Will Do It Again!!!

macele · 09-22-2011, 09:34 AM

if she makes a great pecan pie,
tell her that you want one for supper tonight!!

Bard · 09-22-2011, 10:46 AM

take time to go fishing even bait her hook I think it is all the little things kind of like a glue that binds
when I look at her I don't think well I wish she would change I look and see the face that I want to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.. I would not change a thing

Apocalipstic · 09-22-2011, 11:39 AM

Be a sweet, kind lover.

09-07-2011, 04:47 PM	#1
AlphaDrug Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female Relationship Status: Fresh Meat Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Reisterstown, MD Posts: 102 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 300 Times in 75 Posts Rep Power: 3148780	Always sleep in the same bed. Compliment each other even on the worst days. __________________ "Theres only us, theres only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way... No day but today!"

09-07-2011, 05:57 PM	#3
Elijah Member How Do You Identify?: Genderqueer Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: Open to healthy possibilities... Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 554 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 738 Thanked 1,629 Times in 393 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	For the love that all that is holy, above all else, Make a Good Choice!! Do not excuse bad behavior early in the relationship and think...."If I just love them enough they will change." It's not going to happen, in fact, it almost always gets worse. So trust your gut and believe that you deserve "xyz", whatever that is for you. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. /rant ~Elijah __________________ "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love." ~Washington Irving

09-22-2011, 08:00 AM	#6
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,874 Times in 1,859 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Never assume anything. __________________ <3 Love is weird.

09-22-2011, 10:46 AM	#9
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	take time to go fishing even bait her hook I think it is all the little things kind of like a glue that binds when I look at her I don't think well I wish she would change I look and see the face that I want to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.. I would not change a thing __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

09-22-2011, 11:39 AM	#10
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,360 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Be a sweet, kind lover. __________________

09-07-2011, 05:01 PM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,828 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Compliment your partner! Say the things you said in the days when you were in a lustmance!

09-07-2011, 06:27 PM	#4
Tawse Member How Do You Identify?: TG Gender Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Atlanta Posts: 730 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,973 Thanked 2,733 Times in 642 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	accept the fact that you're going to argue make an agreement that if the argument gets too passionate - you'll drop it so that both of you can calm down. make an agreement that the disagreement will be readdressed when both are in a better head space. understand that you both need to have your own life, you don't have to share every facet of your lives with each other. understand that there will be times where it will be much easier to walk away from each other than to stay and work it out - make an agreement that barring "deal breakers" you'll both strive as hard as possible to work it out. Remember that people tend to make serious changes in their lives every 7 years or so - as a couple you have to learn to grow together. Don't think that the person you're with today will be the same person 10 years from now - or vice versa. We all change. When it comes to arguing - ask yourself "Is this the beach I want to die on" Chances are - it's not. When you argue - never call each other names. It will destroy your relationship. Plain and simple. There's not a single successful healthy long term relationship that contains name calling when arguing. Understand that your sex life will at times not be a significant part of your life - for various reasons. Also understand that even if your partner doesn't have a high sex drive it doesn't mean that you can't masturbate - or that they wouldn't enjoy watching you do such.. who knows what it may spark teasing is one thing - picking on a sensitive subject is another thing. Find out the difference for your partner. you're going to at some point (probably multiple times during the course of the relationship) take each other for granted - it's a natural human condition. Talk to your partner if you feel that is happening. Learn how to take constructive criticism. Buy your partner small knickknack gifts randomly just for the hell of it. It lets them know you're thinking about them. You and your partner should have this room in your relationship that no one else can go to. This is a figurative room - a room where you and he/she share each others secrets - a room where you talk to each other more than and about more subjects than you talk to anyone else. If you find yourself building a room with someone else - and starting to tell that person more than you tell your partner - you're asking for trouble. Serious trouble.

09-22-2011, 09:34 AM	#8
macele Member How Do You Identify?: a bold-assed maximus Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: mississippi Posts: 1,066 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,178 Thanked 3,230 Times in 847 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	if she makes a great pecan pie, tell her that you want one for supper tonight!!