How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[T4Texas]

I identify as an old school butch. old school meaning, the way things used to be. When people ask me, I tell them I am an old school butch with updated ideas, meaning a butch like you might have found twenty or fifty years ago before the advent of labels, who has attempted to keep up with the times while not losing identity. Sexuality, gender, etc, has over the years splintered into a million pieces with so many identifications its hard to keep up. Even though I cling to my past, I admire the people who have thought out who they are and what they really feel no matter what category that ultimately puts them in. By the same token, I do stick with my past and the strong feelings I have about being butch and what that means to me. For me personally, it means taking on a dominant role, being a leader and also being one who nurtures. When I came out, being butch was a given to me, it was who I was and there would be no compromise to it ever. That feeling has never changed. The only additions to it over the years have been a sense of being a daddy though I rarely ID that way and a particular sadistic streak which only in the last several years have I come to terms with as part of the kink side I embrace.
I have always felt that people today sometimes have a hard time finding who they are, in part because there are so many decisions now, in part because of our individuality. It makes it hard on the younger people to find their place and I feel for them in that regard. My life was simple coming out because you were pretty much either butch, femme or bi.
Trans was around then, but considered more of a curiosity I think rather than an identification. It amazes me in the last 30 years how much all of this has changed and how very different we all are, evolving from the simplicity of butch/femme to the complexities we have reached. I am comfortable in my skin, extremely confident about who I am, and I wonder sometimes how many people can really say that.
With that said, I have to say I support people in whatever ID they choose as we all have to make our way in life no matter how easy or complex it becomes. Your individuality is something you must never give away or let someone take from you. I have had people say to me in recent times that being butch or femme is now a relic of the past given the scores of new IDs that people have. I will have to disagree with that statement. We are what everything new has evolved from and I certainly don't feel like a relic or outdated by any means. I also find there are a lot of women out there who are wanting that type of old school relationship even among the younger crowd. In order to find your future, you must also embrace your past. We are the ones who were at Stonewall. We are the ones who were in the dirty bars that got raided by the police, We are the ones who were unable to 'pass' and were victimized because of it. The gay men, butches and drag queens opened the doors for all of you in one way or another. We are still here and a viable part of the community. Never count the old school out.

[LeftWriteFemme]

The first thing I am before anything else is a girl. I think this makes me 'other' in a way that is not as hard to explain, as it seems hard for people to understand or accept, this is not an age play or a little/big kind of thing either, that's not what I mean; I am a girl not a woman in the same way that a zebra is not a horse.

That said, I am gay also queer and a lesbian, femme is apparent, but it is on the list.

[Abigail Crabby]

Interesting topic.......

For me, first and always I am a girl..... I am a girl first and always, even if single I am still a girl.

I love lables, I slapped Queer Femme on me proudly long ago, sometimes at work I shock the younger straight set of friends I have when I call myself Queer. They react with omg!! Isn't that a derogatory word. I said only if one thinks so I happily embrace the Queer I am.

So I suppose I am a Queer Femme Girl and I love everyone no matter what label they choose or don't choose.

I am femme by nature as was my Mother before me.

[Heart]

How do I identify?

I'm a woman, I'm a lesbian, I'm femme.

I'm queer as in part of the queer community.

I also use/reclaim the word dyke, though my only issue with the word lesbian is when other queers wrinkle their noses at it.

Heart

[Gemme]

Queer Stone Femme Girl

Queer-a term that fits better than any other...it's often used as an umbrella term and I kind of like that because that means there's lots of room for different flavors inside that one identifier.

Stone-because I choose to partner with Stone Butches and Transguys and because their sexual boundaries of what touch is acceptable and what bits not to touch fit with my sexual boundaries of what bits I'm not touching as well as how I prefer to touch the bits I do touch.

Femme-ever notice that femme ends with 'me'?

Girl-maybe it's because I didn't get the childhood I think I should have or maybe I was just born this way, but I'm all girl, inside and out, good, bad and ugly. It's inside me as surely as the molecules that carry oxygen throughout my body and just as necessary for existence.

[Dominique]

I'm a middle aged athletic lesbian.

[Glenn]

Lifelong Stonebutch..."I'm on the right track baby I was born this way".

[redrose]

I am femme because I am feminine in appearance and manner

[Jett]

Grown-ass unapologetic *Tomboy*. Why? Because it relays things at my core that have remained steady and true throughout my life- though at times (like decades) I have tried to shun/hide/smother pieces and parts of these things due to my own life experiences and that resulted in un-examined internal misogyny.

After self examination in the last couple years, self work on so many things OTHER than my identity, after scraping off the shit and allowing parts of myself light that I hadn't seen for decades... a cocky hardcore Tomboy remained... lol. The only part of me (in relation to these particular identities) I believe innate, and who I can most clearly remember always having been... if that makes sense. I could technically still claim butch, I am very butch (the adjective) inside still, my relationship has the yin yang of the dynamic... but for me in Tomboy I feel more "freedom" for integral parts of me, though not unheard of in "*butch* more unusual no doubt... and the conglomerate of them tip the scales in my mind. So it's honestly (for me) it's just more accurate in that it describes better and encompasses my personal *fluid-ness* being comfortable all in one vessel. I have strong masculine traits and also strong feminine traits and that works great for me... I enjoy both, they are not at odds in me but seamless and natural.

Did I break the rules because I spoke about not id'ing butch? I did it b/c I did ID that way for so long... or maybe because I'm a rule-breaker at heart... oh well... either way I have breakfast to make and a truck engine to play with... in other words, life calls... you can punish me later.

[girl_dee]

it depends on my mood, but overall i am femme. i am attracted to butch women.

Other ID's i claim are queer, gay and dyke!