So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[Toughy]

Starbuck....

do both your husbands know about the relationship you and your g/f are having?

[*Anya*]

The Kinsey Scale ranges from one exclusively homosexual on one end, exclusively hetero on the other, bisexual in the middle and gradiations on either side of bi.

When I was 18, I was exclusively hetero in practice but fantasizing about women. By the time I was 20, I was having sex with both. By the time I was 29, exclusively homosexual.

I never, ever could connect emotionally with bio men the way I do with women. I am not able to have sex with anyone without an emotional connection, ergo- pigs would probably be flying around the moon before I would ever have a sexual relationship OR a deeply emotional relationship with another bio man.

I do not dislike bio men at all. Some are my very good friends. My two brothers are very good men. Not being sexually attracted to them is just me.

Do I believe sexuality can be fluid? Yes, I do. For me? Not any more. My sexual orientation is firmly fixed on the homosexual side of the Kinsey Scale. I am a woman-identified lesbian, sexually attracted to woman-identified butch women.

Do I judge those on any part of the continum?

Never.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Toughy

Starbuck....

do both your husbands know about the relationship you and your g/f are having?

Back in the day...<cough>... pretty much everyone was on AOL and the message boards through them. The lesbian board was crappy, so I checked out the bi board. Bright, intelligent women! They were cool with me being on there, too. One woman is still a good friend of mine (online..she lives in Utah), but I haven't talked with her in a while.

A lot of the women on this particular board were married and out to their husbands and dated women.

I got together with this one female couple who lived about an hour or so from me. They had gotten together at work. One was actually the others' boss. They have now been together, geez, it has to at least be 15 years. They were both still married and both loved their husbands. Both of their husbands knew and after a period of time were supportive of their relationship (and the women are supportive of each others' relationship with their husband). Periodically, the families would get together.

The other woman (the Utah one), had a similar thing going on (but with a single lesbian). They lived in two different states, but actually had a business together. That one didn't end too well (the single lesbian kind of screwed my friend over). After that relationship, my friend's husband requested she only seek out lovers and no longer have "relationships" with women, as he really struggled with her loving someone else. My friend has been ok with this so far and has been fortunate to find a lover she enjoys in bed, but not so much out of bed...so it works!

For all three of the above women, they have talked about how they really need both sexes in their lives to feel fulfilled.

However, I have also spoken to other bisexual women that say they can be completely fulfilled committed to only one person. I do believe this to be true.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Isadora

I think it is about sex. That is why it is called bi-sexual.

Hi, Isa! <3

I am curious if being gay is strictly about sex also? After all, they do call it homosexual. Ditto for straight people, they call it heterosexual.

[Elijah]

Really interesting topic.

I have never ID'ed as Bi because I have never had any doubt about where My attractions lie, but I have dated several people who have ID'ed as such.

For Me, it always made sense that someone who was attracted to masculinity, and who were very self aware and open to connections with all kinds of people, without regard to what is between their legs, may have some overlap.

I think being bisexual has nothing to do with you ability to be fidelitous (if that's what you seek).

I think our own fears as a community have driven some very hurtful and frankly untrue biases about bisexuals.

That's why I am happy and proud to ID as queer, because in general, I think the queer community is much more open to ID's that don't fit into easy little packages, that serve to quell our fears.

As an aside, I think it is important to remember that we can find bad behaviors and personality traits in any group of individuals.

~Elijah

[Starbuck]

Originally Posted by Toughy

Starbuck....

do both your husbands know about the relationship you and your g/f are having?

Hi Toughy, while I am out to my husband, he does not know about my gf, or at least I don't think he does. I have a house mate who says she thinks he does know but just isn't saying anything. And my girlfriend's husband does not know either. Now the interesting part is that I can visit her house and interact with her as a friend while in front of her husband, and as a friend with her husband as well, I like him a lot. I'd never do anything to break their marriage apart because they are happy (I just fill a void he can't ). They invite my husband and I over for parties and football games and such and no one is the wiser. Why? Because my gf is a friend with my husband (they work in the same building) and I'm a friend with her hubby and we're all Army veterans. We all have that in common so the men see that as our first commonality. I hope that answered your question. .

[The_Lady_Snow]

Are you all practicing safe sex???? That's one helluva interaction you got going Starbuck good luck!

[Starbuck]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Are you all practicing safe sex???? That's one helluva interaction you got going Starbuck good luck!

Hi Snow, my gf has been married to her hubby for 15 years and faithful (up till now ). I've been married 12 years and faithful (up till now ). After much discussion and some safe sex, we are now fluid bonded, as we are with our husbands.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Starbuck

Hi Snow, my gf has been married to her hubby for 15 years and faithful (up till now ). I've been married 12 years and faithful (up till now ). After much discussion and some safe sex, we are now fluid bonded, as we are with our husbands.

That's awesome, I just have to bring up that there is a possibility that someone's hubby may be getting a lil something something too, I mean if they don't know about ya'll how do ya'll know about what they got going on? I'm not saying there is, or they are the possibility is there.

[Starbuck]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

That's awesome, I just have to bring up that there is a possibility that someone's hubby may be getting a lil something something too, I mean if they don't know about ya'll how do ya'll know about what they got going on? I'm not saying there is, or they are the possibility is there.

We are so lucky, Snow. Of all the men in the world, these two are the ones who will never cheat! I even told mine once that it wasn't fair that I was holding out on him that if he felt the need to find someone else that I would understand. You know what his response was? "Nope, it'll never happen, I'm married to you.". And I truly believe him because his ex-wife cheated on him and left him for her "soul mate" and that really hurt him so I think he's really devoted to me. That's kinda why I'm still with him, I think. Now my gf's hubby is a strong Christian man and I don't think think he'd cheat based on that fact alone.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Starbuck

We are so lucky, Snow. Of all the men in the world, these two are the ones who will never cheat! I even told mine once that it wasn't fair that I was holding out on him that if he felt the need to find someone else that I would understand. You know what his response was? "Nope, it'll never happen, I'm married to you.". And I truly believe him because his ex-wife cheated on him and left him for her "soul mate" and that really hurt him so I think he's really devoted to me. That's kinda why I'm still with him, I think. Now my gf's hubby is a strong Christian man and I don't think think he'd cheat based on that fact alone.

Phew.... Well shit, all I gotta say is mad props to you for putting your shit out there for us to read, you're living your life as you see you should be and it looks like you get to have straight priveledge AND you get to have a lil queer fun here and there! Good luck on all your relationships and thank you for sharing yourself with us

[sweetiefemme]

Originally Posted by Starbuck

We are so lucky, Snow. Of all the men in the world, these two are the ones who will never cheat! I even told mine once that it wasn't fair that I was holding out on him that if he felt the need to find someone else that I would understand. You know what his response was? "Nope, it'll never happen, I'm married to you.". And I truly believe him because his ex-wife cheated on him and left him for her "soul mate" and that really hurt him so I think he's really devoted to me. That's kinda why I'm still with him, I think. Now my gf's hubby is a strong Christian man and I don't think think he'd cheat based on that fact alone.

I am so glad you found what works for you, my only 'problem' is that I have been on the other end of a cheating partner and it devastated me. Not really here to judge, just my 2 cents.