How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[Katalina]

Thank you for this thread...it is actually something I have been giving quite a bit of thought lately.

The relevant parts of my standard self-ID (long version upon request are:

Queer Leather Femme

Queer: I find 'queer' to be more expressive and encompassing of the way I live my life, and more aspects of my life than just my sexuality. "Lesbian" never sat right with me.

Leather: My leatherwalk is an integral part of how I live my life, and with whom.

Femme: I am comfortable with my assigned gender, although I'm certainly not High Holy Femme - don't have the stamina nor the inclination. I'm a feminine, low-maintenance femme. And I don't pay too much attention to the artificial boundaries between gender roles, although I do tend by nature to stay more on the 'feminine' side of the equation.

The word I'm mulling over adding is Stone. (Queer Leather Stone Femme). I've been reading and doing research, and there is apparently a lot of debate over definition. Plus, I've been slammed in previous relationships many times over how my sexuality works, so there's a lot of pain and 'un-learning' to deal with. But what I've learned so far goes a long way to explain things...and explain them a LOT. Too bad it took me so long (I'm 50) to look into it....

Anyway, great question, and thanks for posting it.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Lesbiana Femme

Lesbiana~ I am latina through and through lol

Femme~ I know no other way

[Corkey]

Human
TG Butch male ID'd.
Human resonates more with me than ever.

[suebee]

I'm a gay woman. Hadn't thought about it before coming to b-f sites. It was just who I was. I've certainly learned a great deal about our community and the various I.D.'s since I came here though. Especially since I fell in love with a butch woman. However, gay, or queer or lesbian.....it's not necessarily the most important part of my identity. Of course that's probably in part because I've never lived anywhere where there's been a sizable gay community.

Sue

[AlphaDrug]

I usually identify as a femme dyke, femme, because I'm girly and I love my butches in their boxers and baggy jeans, and dyke because (a) I like the sound of it and (b) it's a word that tends to make people pay more attention... make people uncomfortable. You say lesbian and men go straight to the last porn they watched with two women with fake tits making out, say dyke and they're mind has less tendency to wonder.

Recently I've been contemplating changing to Queer Femme, because queer encompasses all that I'm interested in. If I were to date a FtM, or just someone who identifies as male or carries on in life with male pronouns, I feel like I might hurt their feelings by walking around calling myself a lesbian or dyke, because I'm not with a woman, in some amount of mindset both his and mine, I'm dating a man. Yet I'm sure as hell not identifying as straight, queer just covers the bases, and its a comfortable place to be for me. I say this because a friend of mine identified as lesbian for the longest time, began dating another friend who's FtM, she had a huge identity crisis within herself over whether or not she was still gay or accepted by the lesbian community for being with a "man"... very over dramatic, but I still understood where she was coming from in a way. I'm the kind of person to avoid drama and awkward situations, and Queer does that for me.

I hope my rambling made sense. Its late and I'm about to crash. <3

[foxyshaman]

Identity is tricky for me. I have always thought of myself as a red fox, ever since I was a little girl. Growing up in timberland gave me many opportunities to study foxes. I love being fox. I have nutured my fox self for close to 45 years.

Shamanism has been my gig for many years and I love it. My practice is exceptionally masculine allowing for my face to shapeshift during ceremony or healing work my inner face (male) becoming my outer face (you should see the shock on some of my patient's faces!!). Shamans are in-between persons and have been considered third genders for a long long time. When I first read about that I felt like my floor buckled and someone had reached inside me, turned on a light bulb, and read my soul. I finally fit. I embody third gender from a spiritual perspective. I have attempted to speak of this before in other threads and on other sites. What I have found however, was my claim for 3rd gender was soundly ignored. With a couple nasty PM's. <shrug>. I took it to mean that gender happened for most people in the physical and psychological realms. Where for shamans, it is in our spiritual/physical realm.

I identify as a spiritually minded dirt dog for the freedom. I know I am third gender by spiritual right and practice, but it takes an open mind to accept my designation. Dirt Dog though well, everyone who owns a dog knows that they are forever taking paths that others cannot see, let alone smell. And I know that when I go for a walk, no path ever ends the same as it starts.

That is me. You see a feminine woman. And I love being a woman, it is a funky gender with a nice bag'o'tricks. But what you see is not what you get. And just because a path looks simple and flat, well as a hiker I know that is soooo not true. As a dirt dog I can be whatever path I choose. Get as dirty as I want. Climb as steep as I want. Go as deep as I want. And always, always find my way. I have learnt through this life that every path leads me to exactly where I need to be, even if I don't know where I am going.

If pressed I call myself a Dyke. I love the word. I love the strength of the word. But yeah Fox is my wild nature. Dog is my domesticated nature. Shaman Third Gender is my true self.

[clay]

You iz so beautiful...and I like ALL those titles...HOTTTTTT!

Originally Posted by foxyshaman

Identity is tricky for me. I have always thought of myself as a red fox, ever since I was a little girl. Growing up in timberland gave me many opportunities to study foxes. I love being fox. I have nutured my fox self for close to 45 years.

Shamanism has been my gig for many years and I love it. My practice is exceptionally masculine allowing for my face to shapeshift during ceremony or healing work my inner face (male) becoming my outer face (you should see the shock on some of my patient's faces!!). Shamans are in-between persons and have been considered third genders for a long long time. When I first read about that I felt like my floor buckled and someone had reached inside me, turned on a light bulb, and read my soul. I finally fit. I embody third gender from a spiritual perspective. I have attempted to speak of this before in other threads and on other sites. What I have found however, was my claim for 3rd gender was soundly ignored. With a couple nasty PM's. <shrug>. I took it to mean that gender happened for most people in the physical and psychological realms. Where for shamans, it is in our spiritual/physical realm.

I identify as a spiritually minded dirt dog for the freedom. I know I am third gender by spiritual right and practice, but it takes an open mind to accept my designation. Dirt Dog though well, everyone who owns a dog knows that they are forever taking paths that others cannot see, let alone smell. And I know that when I go for a walk, no path ever ends the same as it starts.

That is me. You see a feminine woman. And I love being a woman, it is a funky gender with a nice bag'o'tricks. But what you see is not what you get. And just because a path looks simple and flat, well as a hiker I know that is soooo not true. As a dirt dog I can be whatever path I choose. Get as dirty as I want. Climb as steep as I want. Go as deep as I want. And always, always find my way. I have learnt through this life that every path leads me to exactly where I need to be, even if I don't know where I am going.

If pressed I call myself a Dyke. I love the word. I love the strength of the word. But yeah Fox is my wild nature. Dog is my domesticated nature. Shaman Third Gender is my true self.

[CherylNYC]

Lesbian, femme, feminist, dyke. 'Nuff said.

[Apocalipstic]

Dyke, Femme, Lesbian, Momi, Daddy, Sister, Friend, Auntie, Aunt, Girly Girl

In interchangeable order

[Gentle Tiger]

I identify as a freaky tiger. Why? Because I am of course. I will post a more complete answer when I am not waiting for my lunch.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Gentle Tiger

I identify as a freaky tiger. Why? Because I am of course. I will post a more complete answer when I am not waiting for my lunch.

I know, it's hard to post on an empty stomache.

[WolfyOne]

Many years ago, I had an ex tell me I was too obvious...she was still in the closet.
I can't change the way I look, talk or walk and don't want to.
I like the way I gradually came into my own.
I am gentle, I am butch and I am a woman.
So, I am a gentle butch woman.
I always oozed with tomboy growing up.
Played all the boy games and never the girl games.
I did like playing house with girls
I like being seen for who I am and not who you want me to be.
Seems we all have some kind of understanding about identity here.
Wishing some day the outside world would accept us as we are, labels included.

[starryeyes]

Super Femme Lesbian.. for sure!!! :-D

[LaneyDoll]

I like labels-they tell the world, in easy terms, how I identify. Labels save me lots and lots of explaining.

I am:
*an extremely girly girly girl-that spider crawling on the floor, someone better kill it/remove it and now!
*an ultra femme-I love my make-up, clothes, heels and sparkly things
*a bratty BDSM bottom-someone could bring out the submissive in me but they haven't yet

But:
I am also:
*a mother-and happily so
*a peacekeeper-I hate when people hurt
*a survivor-I am not a victim, or a statistic.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I've ID'd as many many things... an artist, a bisexual, a monkey wrencher, a socialist, a diesel femme, a radical queer, a punk rocker, a student, a primatologist...

on and on.



I am a traveller - not in the traditional sense, I'm not romany et al. I mean, my heritage of my blood family not being tied to a single place (ie, wanting to live some place forever) and that I seem to carry the same itch.

I am a west coastian of north america - North. I do have that enculturation I take with me everywhere and I cherish that way of seeing the world, dispite the ammount of flack I take for it.

I am an adoptee, that is a big part of what has shaped me. It' very much part of my identity as a human social creature

I don't have the words to describe the genders I have. One of them is a woman, so I am one. One of them is femme, so I am one.

My sexuality is dyke/queer, so I am one.

I am also a wife, which I'm proud of because of the long fight behind it.

I am a lover of science, that is my intellectual and hearts calling

I enjoy mythology and philosophy, especially eastern and I love the enactments to bring my body back in line and joined to my mind and my nature. That has been part of my identity for over 20 years.

I am a beloved daughter to people I love very much.

I was a sister, to a brother I deeply loved. even though he isn't here any longer to declare my social bond and role with, I still feel "sister" anyway. it's part of my ID.

None of these take precedent above or beyond the others. They are all part of who I am. All of my previous ID's that I am no longer were very real and deserved their moment. They were not "false" because they did not last forever. I wasn't "really" a lesbian when I was bi. I was bisexual when I was and I respect that part of my life as it's part of what made me who I am now.

[PumaJ]

I like reading all of the different ways we ID ourselves as Queers, Lesbians, Dykes, etc...including those of us who are transgender or transexual. No matter the semantics if it, we are all surely being powerful in the way in which we be human.

[oblivia]

I identify as a few things...

Queer Femme - this is my primary identifier within GLBTQ & Friends community. I like Queer.... for many of the same reasons others have stated. I love that it holds so much space for other identities, and feels more unified than other terms (to me). Femme is so important to me - and i never claim myself as Queer (or Lesbian) without adding "Femme" to it. That title is like a badge of honour for me.... it took me years to discover it, and once I did - I was NEVER letting it go. My tattoo has "Queer Femme" integrated into it.

Lesbian - I never used to use this label for myself but I am much more comfortable with it now and use it sometimes, particularly if I feel like it gets the idea across simpler with a particular person or group of people.

Little Girl - For those who get it - it's self explanatory. And for those who may not right away, I call this my "inner five year old". But really, this IS a huge part of my identity. I have a little side that I let out a LOT among people I trust - when I feel safe - and it's not so much about playing young, as it is literally letting myself squeal with joy and clap my hands when I want to. Letting my eyes go super wide and my mouth gape when I'm surprised in a good way.... bouncing up and down... tugging on Sparx's sleeve when I want her attention because I just HAVE TO SHOW HER SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. LOL It's just a huge part of me. She gets it. The man-children get it. My closest friends get it. It's just me.

[xxzalciaiomenxx]

I identify as a dyke...most of the time...why...because I like the word, it fits who I am, in personality and appearance.

There are times I view myself as genderqueer because I don't feel like either a man nor a woman at times.

There are also instances that I view myself as genderfluid, depending on my mood I can feel incredibly masculine or feminine, and I can move between these two very easily, sometimes I feel as if I am both at once....

I'm very complicated, all depending on my mood, the environment surrounding me, and the company I am in.

[Quintease]

I had to look through this to see if I'd answered before, only it doesn't appear that I have.

I am female
I am difficult
I am lesbian
I am femme(ish)
I am sometimes pseudo-heterosexual
I am always wife
I am a warm climate girl
I am hopefully a mother one day
I am someone who hangs out on online forums rather than real life
I am all the different types of me

[foxyshaman]

The more I look inside, the more deeply I fall into and out of who I am.

I can no more separate my spiritual calling from my physical appearance then...well I don't really know what to compare it to because I don't remember not having a calling. Ever.

I am very female on the outside, but it took me years to find my feminine. I had always been in relationships where I took the more masculine role, I am actively aware and use the animus parts of my personality easily. The anima is an integral part of my exterior healer. My interior shaman is male, so very very male; not just animus.

As a Northerner, first generation Canadian, I draw heavily on my ancestral practice of seidhr. Seidhr has been historically considered to be "evil magic" because it could be used to alter men's minds and thoughts - I have often read the term "turn the world upside down". This might be a reference to an earthquake (which would be pretty serious magic) or to changing someone's perceptions so drastically via this mind-altering magic that their world might as well be turned upside down. The phrase strikes me so strongly because that's exactly what third gender people do. By our very nature, we turn the world upside down. We are living, walking catalysts, and this is the first mystery of our existence. We turn everything that people think they know about gender - that supposedly safe ground beneath their feet - upside down. We change worlds.

There are "out in the world" third gender persons. There are also, in the other worlds, third gender persons. I will continue to draw attention to the latter for as long as I draw breath. Sexual identity is fluid, gender identity is not simply an outward appearance. Shamanism is a deep and complicated practice. Complicated further by being a feminie dyke with a male shaman interior.

Related yet unrelated, many people I know are very afraid, or leery of doing head stands. Makes sense to me, how many of us like to turn our world upside down... and then stay in that position without falling right side up.