BBW ??? - Qualifications

SecretAgentMa'am · 10-04-2011, 11:37 PM

I don't know, either. I'm fat, but apparently not fat enough for the local "fat positive" community. I suppose I would describe myself as thick, if I had to pick a word. I don't post in BBW threads or communities, either. When I was single, that was mostly because I wasn't looking to be fetishized, which was at the time my perception of what went on in those spaces. Now I stay away from those threads because I'm not looking to meet anyone who should care how I look.

ScandalAndy · 10-04-2011, 11:48 PM

My understanding of it is that anyone who falls outside standard manufacturer sizing is a BBW. American Apparel's plus size models are 12-14. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to call someone in those sizes "big".

I don't consider anyone under a size 18 to be a bbw, but I'm probably just wearing my judgy pants. Great thread, as now I'm forced to think about why I'm being like that. Thanks for posting!

Delish · 10-05-2011, 01:06 AM

I agree with Apocalipstic...I'm just me! I am a BBW in all sense of the words, but for some reason I just don't like that term.
I've recently had Lapband surgery but not because I want to be a bag of bones. I'm very happy with the way I am, and althOugh I'm loosing weight, it has no reflection on me being comfortable with my size.
I say life is too short! Enjoy it while u can and embrace who u are..not your size or "status"

Just my $.02

J. Mason · 10-05-2011, 05:46 AM

Coming from a big transguy, I think BBW is any female who wears over a size 18, like Scandal Andy said. I have never heard of American Appareal till now as well and those sizes to me are not a BBW, but I think what qualifies as a BBW is up to the female themselves.

SecretAgentMa'am · 10-05-2011, 10:10 AM

And there you have it. As a size 16, I'm plenty fat enough to have a hard time finding clothes (most regular stores don't carry my size, and neither do most plus size stores), more than fat enough to have complete strangers make nasty comments to be about my weight, definitely fat enough to have doctors dismiss just about every physical problem I have as weight related and tell me to lose weight instead of actually treating me, but not fat enough to qualify here.

LaneyDoll · 10-05-2011, 10:20 AM

Hmmm, these are my thoughts about how the terms relate to me personally. So, I hope I do not offend anyone...

I do not like the term "thick." To me it implies that I have big bone structure which I do not. I also do not like the term BBW but I will use it since it is (seemingly) understood universally.

For me, I have a hard time recognizing my weight issues. When I was a teenager I was 5'6 and 125 pounds of boobs, butt and big hair. And I worked out a lot so I had muscle weight and minimal fatty tissue. But, my dad & stepmom compared me to my 5'1, size 2 stepsister-and I came up short in those comparisions. She was the beauty of the house and I was the smart one. Then, I never really saw me as who I was and still have trouble doing so. (It never ceases to amaze me what loving parents inadvertantly do to their kids).

But, since I am much larger now, "BBW" does apply although I prefer the term "dangerously curvy."

suebee · 10-05-2011, 10:28 AM

When I was cyber-dating I described myself as a BBW, and my brother (of all people lol) told me that I didn't fit in that category. The more I saw on the sites, the more I tended to agree that the term seemed to be used to self-describe women who were plus-sized. I'm at the upper end of commercial sized clothing without going into the plus sizes, so I began clicking the "a few extra pounds" category.

Personally I consider myself to be fluffy.

ScandalAndy · 10-05-2011, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

And there you have it. As a size 16, I'm plenty fat enough to have a hard time finding clothes (most regular stores don't carry my size, and neither do most plus size stores), more than fat enough to have complete strangers make nasty comments to be about my weight, definitely fat enough to have doctors dismiss just about every physical problem I have as weight related and tell me to lose weight instead of actually treating me, but not fat enough to qualify here.

In my defense, I did say that I was probably wearing my judgy pants and needed to examine that. In my personal experience I can find lots of clothes in your size, but I'm probably looking in different places.

Nobody has told you that you "don't qualify here", I was solely stating how I felt about it at the time. I still got nasty comments as a 12/14 when I was 15 years old, so I'm not really interested in excluding anyone. Mean words hurt no matter what size you are. If you feel like a BBW then by all means please claim it. We need all the support and visibility we can get.

betenoire · 10-06-2011, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

I don't know, either. I'm fat, but apparently not fat enough for the local "fat positive" community. I suppose I would describe myself as thick, if I had to pick a word. I don't post in BBW threads or communities, either. When I was single, that was mostly because I wasn't looking to be fetishized, which was at the time my perception of what went on in those spaces. Now I stay away from those threads because I'm not looking to meet anyone who should care how I look.

I think (well, I guess I know from personal experience with the fat positive communities I've been in/around) that just as much body policing goes on there as what goes on outside of those circles. People will deny it if you say it out loud, but there's a pretty narrow region of fat that is acceptable to a lot of people (not all, pull yourselves together) within fat positive circles. Size 18, 20, 22, maybe 24? But below that (And while I do get that a size 16 doesn't have to deal with the same DEGREE of bullshit that a size 24 does - don't anybody try to tell me that the size 16 girl on the bus doesn't understand what the world looks/feels like for a fat girl) you're not "legit" as a fat girl. And above that the celebration often stops. Don't deny it, people.

I do also think that different groups mean different things when they say BBW. Those guys on craigslist? They're probably talking about sizes 14, 16, 18, and MAYBE 20.

LaneyDoll · 10-06-2011, 11:19 AM

I am actually more confident as a BBW than I was when I was thin. I am not sure if I just grew up and matured or overcame my shyness etc. But I feel that people are not as able to get to me.

I know that people probably make mean comments about my size but I also know that I get plenty of positive compliments too. People are always telling me that my eyes are pretty, my voice is soothing/sexy, my feet are cute (yes that really happens) etc.

I think that (for me anyway) the confidence I show outshines the "big" aspect of my BBW self.

I have literally shown up for my first time at a BDSM club and been greeted with "So, you're the infamous LaneyDoll." I raise thousands of dollars for local clubs and non-profits-and I do it all without being model-thin. Trust me, in this economy it is not easy to convince people to part with money after they just paid entrance fees.

I have the motto that if you (in the general sense) do not like me only because of my size then it is your loss. I have plenty of friends who can take your place and plenty of potential friends who are willing to.

10-04-2011, 11:37 PM	#1
SecretAgentMa'am Member How Do You Identify?: Redheaded Bellydancing Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Very married Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Portland, OR, USA Posts: 215 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 84 Thanked 778 Times in 171 Posts Rep Power: 15100837	I don't know, either. I'm fat, but apparently not fat enough for the local "fat positive" community. I suppose I would describe myself as thick, if I had to pick a word. I don't post in BBW threads or communities, either. When I was single, that was mostly because I wasn't looking to be fetishized, which was at the time my perception of what went on in those spaces. Now I stay away from those threads because I'm not looking to meet anyone who should care how I look. __________________ Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead

10-04-2011, 11:48 PM	#2
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	My understanding of it is that anyone who falls outside standard manufacturer sizing is a BBW. American Apparel's plus size models are 12-14. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to call someone in those sizes "big". I don't consider anyone under a size 18 to be a bbw, but I'm probably just wearing my judgy pants. Great thread, as now I'm forced to think about why I'm being like that. Thanks for posting! __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

10-05-2011, 01:06 AM	#3
Delish Member How Do You Identify?: Queen of our castle Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: She put a ring on it and the date is set :) Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Missouri...in her arms :) Posts: 1,089 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,279 Thanked 834 Times in 427 Posts Rep Power: 3888561	I agree with Apocalipstic...I'm just me! I am a BBW in all sense of the words, but for some reason I just don't like that term. I've recently had Lapband surgery but not because I want to be a bag of bones. I'm very happy with the way I am, and althOugh I'm loosing weight, it has no reflection on me being comfortable with my size. I say life is too short! Enjoy it while u can and embrace who u are..not your size or "status" Just my $.02 __________________

10-05-2011, 10:10 AM	#5
SecretAgentMa'am Member How Do You Identify?: Redheaded Bellydancing Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Very married Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Portland, OR, USA Posts: 215 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 84 Thanked 778 Times in 171 Posts Rep Power: 15100837	And there you have it. As a size 16, I'm plenty fat enough to have a hard time finding clothes (most regular stores don't carry my size, and neither do most plus size stores), more than fat enough to have complete strangers make nasty comments to be about my weight, definitely fat enough to have doctors dismiss just about every physical problem I have as weight related and tell me to lose weight instead of actually treating me, but not fat enough to qualify here. __________________ Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead

10-05-2011, 10:20 AM	#6
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hmmm, these are my thoughts about how the terms relate to me personally. So, I hope I do not offend anyone... I do not like the term "thick." To me it implies that I have big bone structure which I do not. I also do not like the term BBW but I will use it since it is (seemingly) understood universally. For me, I have a hard time recognizing my weight issues. When I was a teenager I was 5'6 and 125 pounds of boobs, butt and big hair. And I worked out a lot so I had muscle weight and minimal fatty tissue. But, my dad & stepmom compared me to my 5'1, size 2 stepsister-and I came up short in those comparisions. She was the beauty of the house and I was the smart one. Then, I never really saw me as who I was and still have trouble doing so. (It never ceases to amaze me what loving parents inadvertantly do to their kids). But, since I am much larger now, "BBW" does apply although I prefer the term "dangerously curvy." __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible. Last edited by LaneyDoll; 10-05-2011 at 10:27 AM.

10-05-2011, 05:46 AM	#4
J. Mason Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Banned 11/9/2011 - Previously banned member back under new name Preferred Pronoun?: He and His Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Texas/Oklahoma Posts: 861 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 250 Thanked 741 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 0	Coming from a big transguy, I think BBW is any female who wears over a size 18, like Scandal Andy said. I have never heard of American Appareal till now as well and those sizes to me are not a BBW, but I think what qualifies as a BBW is up to the female themselves.

10-05-2011, 10:28 AM	#7
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,756 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450092	When I was cyber-dating I described myself as a BBW, and my brother (of all people lol) told me that I didn't fit in that category. The more I saw on the sites, the more I tended to agree that the term seemed to be used to self-describe women who were plus-sized. I'm at the upper end of commercial sized clothing without going into the plus sizes, so I began clicking the "a few extra pounds" category. Personally I consider myself to be fluffy. __________________ "Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer

10-06-2011, 11:19 AM	#10
LaneyDoll Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Girly girl femme Preferred Pronoun?: She; Ma'am; Miss ;) Relationship Status: Pitbull protected. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 2,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,892 Thanked 7,683 Times in 1,607 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am actually more confident as a BBW than I was when I was thin. I am not sure if I just grew up and matured or overcame my shyness etc. But I feel that people are not as able to get to me. I know that people probably make mean comments about my size but I also know that I get plenty of positive compliments too. People are always telling me that my eyes are pretty, my voice is soothing/sexy, my feet are cute (yes that really happens) etc. I think that (for me anyway) the confidence I show outshines the "big" aspect of my BBW self. I have literally shown up for my first time at a BDSM club and been greeted with "So, you're the infamous LaneyDoll." I raise thousands of dollars for local clubs and non-profits-and I do it all without being model-thin. Trust me, in this economy it is not easy to convince people to part with money after they just paid entrance fees. I have the motto that if you (in the general sense) do not like me only because of my size then it is your loss. I have plenty of friends who can take your place and plenty of potential friends who are willing to. __________________ There are beauties who stop traffic and then there are beauties who grow obsessively in the hearts of the susceptible.