How do I stop feeling like this?

[ruffryder]

If you're comfortable wearing men's clothing, no you shouldn't give up shopping in the men's section. I think you answered your own question..

" I don't give a fuck what people think."

Keep going there and you will get more comfortable with it as time passes!

[Slater]

It absolutely will get easier, but there will be times when it will still be uncomfortable for one reason or another. Don't beat yourself up over that. Don't tell yourself that you should be past it or whatever. It's going to happen from time to time.

The last time I shopped for a suit (which for me personally, is the hard one for various reasons -- underwear is easy), the male salesclerk pretty openly snickered at me. Initially he was on the phone with someone and he would look over at me then make some comment into the phone that I couldn't hear. After a few moments he was off the phone and female staff person came over and the two of them stood behind the counter, watching me, half-whispering to each other and cracking up. Neither of them ever spoke to me. I was humiliated and left.

This was 7 or so years ago and I would probably handle it differently now. In part I think I reacted the way I did because it was the first time I had been so openly mocked by sales staff when I was shopping for clothes and I just wasn't expecting it. Sure, I'd gotten some weird looks before, but that was the extent of it. If it were to happen now, I would be a little better prepared for it, I think. So keep that in mind too, uncomfortable situations will happen but you will get better over time at handling them.

I still don't own a suit, but I am thinking about getting one.

[Morgan]

It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable shopping in the mens department, but now I notice if I look people in the eyes and smile, they are the ones that turn away. If I appear confident, they cannot make me feel uncomfortable. I have taken my power back using this technique, and they are the ones who seem uncomfortable. NO ONE has the right to judge.....

I hope you will not change for anyone, you are perfect just the way you are.

[Nadeest]

Led,
Definitely don't give up. I had the same problem, long ago, but in the opposite corner. I was shopping for women's clothing, while living as a male. I did find, though, that the more that I was comfortable with myself, the less problems that I tended to have.
If people start making you uncomfortable, think about how they would react if you started telling them how they should be dressed. They would quickly become indignant, I'll bet. Therefore, don't worry about their opinions.

[Dominique]

I realize my piece of advice is easier said, than done. It also took me a *few* years to reach this point.

I owe nobody any explanations as to how I live my life. I stopped explaning myself years ago, and all of those pressures went away.

I'd also like to add, in someones signature line I read (paraphrasing) *Who said my life is defined by your rules*

[LaneyDoll]

When I was younger, I worked in retail in and one thing you need to remember is that a lot of non-straight people work retail. I once worked in a local Macy's and my department was responsible for covering the plus sized women's area when that staff was on break. We were taught "men come in here to shop for themselves. Should they want to try something on, you are to make sure the dressing room is clear of women and that they get absolute privacy. Their money spends just as well as everyone else's and we will not lose their business to another store."

Try to remember that most large scale stores are all about the bottom line. If someone was in my business dropping a few hundred on clothes, I wouldn't care a bit about who was handing the money to me. And, if you are a regular, the employees will always look out for you.

As for the customers, don't worry about them. I just tell myself that the haters are jealous of me

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

When I was younger, I worked in retail in and one thing you need to remember is that a lot of non-straight people work retail. I once worked in a local Macy's and my department was responsible for covering the plus sized women's area when that staff was on break. We were taught "men come in here to shop for themselves. Should they want to try something on, you are to make sure the dressing room is clear of women and that they get absolute privacy. Their money spends just as well as everyone else's and we will not lose their business to another store."

Try to remember that most large scale stores are all about the bottom line. If someone was in my business dropping a few hundred on clothes, I wouldn't care a bit about who was handing the money to me. And, if you are a regular, the employees will always look out for you.

As for the customers, don't worry about them. I just tell myself that the haters are jealous of me

I worked for Dillards. Same thing. Most of the sales people, especially during the week during the day work for commission and want our business.

I worked for Dillards. Same thing. Most of the sales people, especially during the week during the day work for commission and want our business.

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

When I was younger, I worked in retail in and one thing you need to remember is that a lot of non-straight people work retail. I once worked in a local Macy's and my department was responsible for covering the plus sized women's area when that staff was on break. We were taught "men come in here to shop for themselves. Should they want to try something on, you are to make sure the dressing room is clear of women and that they get absolute privacy. Their money spends just as well as everyone else's and we will not lose their business to another store."

Try to remember that most large scale stores are all about the bottom line. If someone was in my business dropping a few hundred on clothes, I wouldn't care a bit about who was handing the money to me. And, if you are a regular, the employees will always look out for you.

As for the customers, don't worry about them. I just tell myself that the haters are jealous of me

for some reason, what I keep flashing on is the scene from "Pretty Woman", where the sales clerks were really mean and snide to Julia roberts. After she went in and got all those clothes from another shop, she stopped back at the first store. Asked if they were paid from commissions. "BIG mistake!" Great line, and a great thing to remember!

[theoddz]

Originally Posted by Slater

It absolutely will get easier, but there will be times when it will still be uncomfortable for one reason or another. Don't beat yourself up over that. Don't tell yourself that you should be past it or whatever. It's going to happen from time to time.

The last time I shopped for a suit (which for me personally, is the hard one for various reasons -- underwear is easy), the male salesclerk pretty openly snickered at me. Initially he was on the phone with someone and he would look over at me then make some comment into the phone that I couldn't hear. After a few moments he was off the phone and female staff person came over and the two of them stood behind the counter, watching me, half-whispering to each other and cracking up. Neither of them ever spoke to me. I was humiliated and left.

This was 7 or so years ago and I would probably handle it differently now. In part I think I reacted the way I did because it was the first time I had been so openly mocked by sales staff when I was shopping for clothes and I just wasn't expecting it. Sure, I'd gotten some weird looks before, but that was the extent of it. If it were to happen now, I would be a little better prepared for it, I think. So keep that in mind too, uncomfortable situations will happen but you will get better over time at handling them.

I still don't own a suit, but I am thinking about getting one.

I don't own a suit, either.

Pop tells me that a lot of men don't really own suits anymore. Pop says that things are a lot more informal now for most people, men and women alike. In view of this, a lot of men just use a sport coat and match it with a tie and a simple pair of trousers or even jeans. I think that's what I'm going to go for, since my lifestyle really doesn't require a suit for much. I do have a nice shirt and tie that I can wear with a pair of trousers, but my body thermostat seems to run on high clog most of the time, so a coat would be much too hot for me, most, if not all of the time.

Decide what your lifestyle is and then build your wardrobe around it and the climate. You'll be much more comfy that way.....and you won't be spending a fortune on things that you really don't need much, if at all.


~Theo~

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by theoddz

I don't own a suit, either.

Pop tells me that a lot of men don't really own suits anymore. Pop says that things are a lot more informal now for most people, men and women alike. In view of this, a lot of men just use a sport coat and match it with a tie and a simple pair of trousers or even jeans. I think that's what I'm going to go for, since my lifestyle really doesn't require a suit for much. I do have a nice shirt and tie that I can wear with a pair of trousers, but my body thermostat seems to run on high clog most of the time, so a coat would be much too hot for me, most, if not all of the time.

Decide what your lifestyle is and then build your wardrobe around it and the climate. You'll be much more comfy that way.....and you won't be spending a fortune on things that you really don't need much, if at all.


~Theo~

Great point, like in Nashville, you can wear jean and a jacket to the most dressy of occasions.