Being Tactile...

bigbutchmistie · 10-29-2011, 12:13 PM

For me with people close to me.I like to hug them. And with a gf I am extremely affectionate to her. I wanna hold her hand in public, kiss her on the lips cheek and or forehead. Put my hand in the small of her back as we walk. I enjoy PDA. But not full blown making out sessions. Thats private

As far as for me receiving it? Depends on the situation whether or not I feel my space is invaded Or become overwhelmed. Or my body tenses up. Its a defense mechanism I have always had. Since growing up in the adopted household there was absolutely NO affection, no hugs nothing.

ArkansasPiscesGrrl · 10-29-2011, 01:37 PM

Great thread, and thanks to all the comments.

I have a niece that, as a baby, would bow back away from whoever was holding her, just to put space between herself and the adult. No cute infant cuddling for her. I always felt sorry for my sister-in-law, because that was one of the things I always LOVED when my kids were little, them cuddling into my neck, yanno?

Anyway, as for touch between a partner/lover/date goes, I love love love to touch and be touched. To me, and maybe I am weird, but touch (or the lack of) can almost be a point of validation of what the other is feeling. With my last partner, when we first got together, there was so much touch it was awesome... gentle, loving, public, it was as if we didn't want to be separated at all.

When she started to shut me out, it began with her pulling back from the touch. At the end (and this was even before I told her that it was ending and I was moving away), there was almost no touching at all on her part. So sad. I had not thought about this before, but it's almost like I was one of those infants deprived of touch. I felt lost much of the time.

When I once again venture into a relationship, I will be very clear with her that touch is necessary to ME.

10-29-2011, 12:13 PM	#1
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	For me with people close to me.I like to hug them. And with a gf I am extremely affectionate to her. I wanna hold her hand in public, kiss her on the lips cheek and or forehead. Put my hand in the small of her back as we walk. I enjoy PDA. But not full blown making out sessions. Thats private As far as for me receiving it? Depends on the situation whether or not I feel my space is invaded Or become overwhelmed. Or my body tenses up. Its a defense mechanism I have always had. Since growing up in the adopted household there was absolutely NO affection, no hugs nothing.

10-29-2011, 01:37 PM	#2
ArkansasPiscesGrrl Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: feeling pretty darned blissful right now! Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: central AR Posts: 856 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,594 Thanked 3,079 Times in 741 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Great thread, and thanks to all the comments. I have a niece that, as a baby, would bow back away from whoever was holding her, just to put space between herself and the adult. No cute infant cuddling for her. I always felt sorry for my sister-in-law, because that was one of the things I always LOVED when my kids were little, them cuddling into my neck, yanno? Anyway, as for touch between a partner/lover/date goes, I love love love to touch and be touched. To me, and maybe I am weird, but touch (or the lack of) can almost be a point of validation of what the other is feeling. With my last partner, when we first got together, there was so much touch it was awesome... gentle, loving, public, it was as if we didn't want to be separated at all. When she started to shut me out, it began with her pulling back from the touch. At the end (and this was even before I told her that it was ending and I was moving away), there was almost no touching at all on her part. So sad. I had not thought about this before, but it's almost like I was one of those infants deprived of touch. I felt lost much of the time. When I once again venture into a relationship, I will be very clear with her that touch is necessary to ME.