Letting Go Of Friendships

[musicman]

I held a grudge for 20 years. It was a half sister that had made my mother cry. Once my mother passed the only thing my half sister and I had in common was gone I stopped talking to her. We eventually did get back together for a brief time when my half brother passed and I went to the wake but eventually lost touch again.

So I have no issues or qualms holding grudges can do it standing on my head. You hurt me or someone I love and you are in my grudge books for a very long time.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by musicman

I held a grudge for 20 years. It was a half sister that had made my mother cry. Once my mother passed the only thing my half sister and I had in common was gone I stopped talking to her. We eventually did get back together for a brief time when my half brother passed and I went to the wake but eventually lost touch again.

So I have no issues or qualms holding grudges can do it standing on my head. You hurt me or someone I love and you are in my grudge books for a very long time.

I am like this to a certain extent. I don't get why some people feel a need to *hold on* to people, even family that hurt us. When I am done, I'm done. I don't know if that's a grudge but there are certain people that I don't give two cents worth about what happens to them, one being my own father. Is that a grudge or self preservation?

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

I am like this to a certain extent. I don't get why some people feel a need to *hold on* to people, even family that hurt us. When I am done, I'm done. I don't know if that's a grudge but there are certain people that I don't give two cents worth about what happens to them, one being my own father. Is that a grudge or self preservation?

I feel holding grudges is, too resentfully and unwillingly allow the other person back into my life because I want to punish them for hurting me. I’m NOT one for holding grudges – what’s done is done as far as I’m concerned – I move on with life.

Self preservation is to protect oneself from a harmful situation/relationship in any form that is unhealthy.

Just my feelings and POV on this…

[ReDo]

Originally Posted by musicman

I held a grudge for 20 years. It was a half sister that had made my mother cry. Once my mother passed the only thing my half sister and I had in common was gone I stopped talking to her. We eventually did get back together for a brief time when my half brother passed and I went to the wake but eventually lost touch again.

So I have no issues or qualms holding grudges can do it standing on my head. You hurt me or someone I love and you are in my grudge books for a very long time.

Family grudges are often hard to let go of. My adoptive mom was dating who she is now married to. 20 years ago he hurt her in some way and I can't remember exactly what he did but I remember her tears. From that moment on I have never cared for Steve thought he was useless and unkind. He hurt my feelings a few times by his mean comments. I just went and saw them this past summer he welcomed me with a smile and a hug and asked how I have been. Holy smokes just about knocked me over. I told my mom about it while we were alone and she asked if I could ever forgive him? I said I think I just did.

Forgiveness is hard especially when it is family those who we are supposed to trust and love through anything. I have forgiven Steve and wish I had taken the time to get to know him better.

My biological family... that forgivness will never come.