Alone for the Holidays

[SoNotHer]

Well, how did you all do today? I hope you found something to make you smile. Maybe this'll make you smile as well. Sometimes there are worse things than being alone on a holiday!

SNH

[AtLast]

I spent today with my dog at a nursing home. He is a "visitor" dog. This feels good, but I do miss some of the traditional things about the holidays of past.

For Christmas, I will probably some other kind of volunteer activity- as soon as my dog is all the way through training and fully certified, I can take him to children's hospitals. But not this year.

I would be interested in doing a conference call with folks from the Planet on Christmas day- LOL, someone will have to tell me how the do do one, but, it would be fun to yak with some folks from here!!

[Rockinonahigh]

Hey all,how r u doing?Today I had some unexpected company that over stayed theire wellcome,corse I was a nice peron while they were hear.I watched the Macys parade like I do every year,took a nap,palyed with the fur kid.My son spent the day playing internet games..I have no ideal how any body can sit in one place that long,cant do it.

[mustangjeano]

Happy Turkey Day to all
I went across the street to my favorite neighbor's home. They always invite me and I feel like family there. So I pigged out, visited with several people and headed home to watch the 49ers game. The dog and I fell asleep in the recliner. Just thought I'de check in here and say hi.

Jeano

[SoNotHer]

I'm glad folks found some good stuff to get into today, and thank you for stopping by. Here's to faraway friends and family on the holidays, even if we prefer them that way. lol

[ruffryder]

May be away from my family for xmas too. I don't know yet. I guess that's the price I pay for moving away and trying to find my happiness and life. My daughter wants me to come see her but have to see if time and finances allows and when. I know I want to see her again soon and I will as soon as I can. If it's not for xmas we will have our own little xmas when it happens.

[SoNotHer]

I'm sorry to hear that, RR, and yeah, I hear you about relocating. Not really sure whether or not I'll be traveling to see folks this year. I hope you're able to find a way to see your daughter.

Originally Posted by ruffryder

May be away from my family for xmas too. I don't know yet. I guess that's the price I pay for moving away and trying to find my happiness and life. My daughter wants me to come see her but have to see if time and finances allows and when. I know I want to see her again soon and I will as soon as I can. If it's not for xmas we will have our own little xmas when it happens.

[Jesse]

BUMPING this thread for those of us who are without family, or nearby loved ones for the holidays. It always seems a little harder for me not having family when the holidays approach. I always muster through, but it's nice to have someone to hang out with for a bit when everyone else is spending time with family.

So, if you find yourself alone during the holidays, or just have some free time, drop by, say hello, sit for a spell. I will be around, as I'm sure others will be likewise.

[Kenna]

Been a while since I've felt like posting anything of substance. But this subject spoke to me.

I've had some major changes since October of last year.

One of my dearest friends, who I used to spend many holidays with, passed away from pancreatic cancer before Thanksgiving last year. It was horrendous to watch her go through that. I lost more than a friend, I lost a home where I felt so much love.

I've tried this year to make sure others that are in my personal circle do not feel alone, yet I've felt some of the deepest loneliness I've ever experienced.

I went through some relationship trauma this year that taught me how truly deeply I am confident and secure in being single and alone. I'm good with that.

I watched a couple close friends experience their grief at losing family members and how they faced certain holidays in a year without their family members. How profound it changed how they felt and quietly grieved.

One of those friends is my 92 year old neighbor that I've cared for, for several years, even though she's fiercely independent. She's alone now that her husband of 33 years is gone. And she's had a major falling out with her daughter who lives in another state. So she has no one except a few local friends that occasionally check on her.

I try to make sure she never spends a major holiday alone. Even though Thanksgiving and Christmas are extremely difficult for me, as I actually find comfort in being alone then because of some deep family trauma regarding my kids and abusive mother. But "Mrs M" is very lonely as this is her first time ever being alone.

On November 20th, I had major surgery to fuse my spine. It's been excruciatingly painful and I seriously just wanted to "stay in my nest" while my best friend and roommate went to be with his family. But at the last minute, I decided to call "Mrs M" and ask her if she didn't mind "watching over me" for a few hours Thanksgiving day? She was absolutely delighted and said "I'd love to be your nurse. You know how much I love you."
So my friend delivered me to her that morning, as I could hardly move without searing pain, much less drive. Mrs M met me at the door with hugs and treats. She was so thrilled to help me settle into the couch and tuck her blankets around me. Then she sat nearby as she told me about all the baking she did the day before. Around noon, she made us a delicious, simple meal of chicken salad and her homemade pumpkin pie and it made her day to serve me and make me comfortable. I got to see her laugh and smile, which has been difficult with her depression. As I sat there nearly in tears from pain, her happiness and companionship meant so
much to me.

You see, for many years, on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I deeply crave to be alone. But this year meant something so spiritually different for me. Especially in my grief, I saw other people's loneliness and need. And it reminded me that I need to sometimes put my comfort zone and craving to be alone aside.