Alone for the Holidays

mustangjeano · 11-24-2011, 11:02 PM

Happy Turkey Day to all
I went across the street to my favorite neighbor's home. They always invite me and I feel like family there. So I pigged out, visited with several people and headed home to watch the 49ers game. The dog and I fell asleep in the recliner. Just thought I'de check in here and say hi.

Jeano

SoNotHer · 11-24-2011, 11:39 PM

I'm glad folks found some good stuff to get into today, and thank you for stopping by. Here's to faraway friends and family on the holidays, even if we prefer them that way.

lol

ruffryder · 12-03-2011, 09:56 PM

May be away from my family for xmas too. I don't know yet. I guess that's the price I pay for moving away and trying to find my happiness and life. My daughter wants me to come see her but have to see if time and finances allows and when. I know I want to see her again soon and I will as soon as I can. If it's not for xmas we will have our own little xmas when it happens.

SoNotHer · 12-04-2011, 10:04 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, RR, and yeah, I hear you about relocating. Not really sure whether or not I'll be traveling to see folks this year. I hope you're able to find a way to see your daughter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruffryder

May be away from my family for xmas too. I don't know yet. I guess that's the price I pay for moving away and trying to find my happiness and life. My daughter wants me to come see her but have to see if time and finances allows and when. I know I want to see her again soon and I will as soon as I can. If it's not for xmas we will have our own little xmas when it happens.

Jesse · 12-23-2016, 01:08 PM

BUMPING this thread for those of us who are without family, or nearby loved ones for the holidays. It always seems a little harder for me not having family when the holidays approach. I always muster through, but it's nice to have someone to hang out with for a bit when everyone else is spending time with family.

So, if you find yourself alone during the holidays, or just have some free time, drop by, say hello, sit for a spell. I will be around, as I'm sure others will be likewise.

Chad · 12-23-2016, 01:34 PM

I am not completely alone but I do feel lonely. I will see my mom on Christmas Day but that is it. I saw the kids last weekend and dropped off gifts.

I did not decorate my home for the holidays because it seemed like too much work for just me and the baby kitty.

It all just seems a little sad to me.

Venus007 · 12-23-2016, 02:03 PM

I wish I were alone for the holiday so that I could do exactly what I want which is nothing except have some sort of marvelous movie marathon and cook something lovely for myself and perhaps read or paint.

Instead I have to juggle people and responsibilities and appear "Holiday Appropriate" instead of the very anti "Christmas Spirit" way I actually feel.

Putting on a fake veneer of cheer is so much work but it is still better than acting how I feel and having to defend it.

Only 3 more days

Kenna · 12-02-2024, 03:26 AM

Been a while since I've felt like posting anything of substance. But this subject spoke to me.

I've had some major changes since October of last year.

One of my dearest friends, who I used to spend many holidays with, passed away from pancreatic cancer before Thanksgiving last year. It was horrendous to watch her go through that. I lost more than a friend, I lost a home where I felt so much love.

I've tried this year to make sure others that are in my personal circle do not feel alone, yet I've felt some of the deepest loneliness I've ever experienced.

I went through some relationship trauma this year that taught me how truly deeply I am confident and secure in being single and alone. I'm good with that.

I watched a couple close friends experience their grief at losing family members and how they faced certain holidays in a year without their family members. How profound it changed how they felt and quietly grieved.

One of those friends is my 92 year old neighbor that I've cared for, for several years, even though she's fiercely independent. She's alone now that her husband of 33 years is gone. And she's had a major falling out with her daughter who lives in another state. So she has no one except a few local friends that occasionally check on her.

I try to make sure she never spends a major holiday alone. Even though Thanksgiving and Christmas are extremely difficult for me, as I actually find comfort in being alone then because of some deep family trauma regarding my kids and abusive mother. But "Mrs M" is very lonely as this is her first time ever being alone.

On November 20th, I had major surgery to fuse my spine. It's been excruciatingly painful and I seriously just wanted to "stay in my nest" while my best friend and roommate went to be with his family. But at the last minute, I decided to call "Mrs M" and ask her if she didn't mind "watching over me" for a few hours Thanksgiving day? She was absolutely delighted and said "I'd love to be your nurse. You know how much I love you."
So my friend delivered me to her that morning, as I could hardly move without searing pain, much less drive. Mrs M met me at the door with hugs and treats. She was so thrilled to help me settle into the couch and tuck her blankets around me. Then she sat nearby as she told me about all the baking she did the day before. Around noon, she made us a delicious, simple meal of chicken salad and her homemade pumpkin pie and it made her day to serve me and make me comfortable. I got to see her laugh and smile, which has been difficult with her depression. As I sat there nearly in tears from pain, her happiness and companionship meant so
much to me.

You see, for many years, on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I deeply crave to be alone. But this year meant something so spiritually different for me. Especially in my grief, I saw other people's loneliness and need. And it reminded me that I need to sometimes put my comfort zone and craving to be alone aside.

11-24-2011, 11:02 PM	#1
mustangjeano Member How Do You Identify?: old school stonebutch, Queer TG butch, ranch hand Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single, not looking Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ca. Posts: 1,088 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,459 Thanked 1,030 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 15314316	Happy Turkey Day to all I went across the street to my favorite neighbor's home. They always invite me and I feel like family there. So I pigged out, visited with several people and headed home to watch the 49ers game. The dog and I fell asleep in the recliner. Just thought I'de check in here and say hi. Jeano __________________ "Your outlook affects your outcome". John Paul Warren

12-23-2016, 01:08 PM	#5
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,783 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	BUMPING this thread for those of us who are without family, or nearby loved ones for the holidays. It always seems a little harder for me not having family when the holidays approach. I always muster through, but it's nice to have someone to hang out with for a bit when everyone else is spending time with family. So, if you find yourself alone during the holidays, or just have some free time, drop by, say hello, sit for a spell. I will be around, as I'm sure others will be likewise. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

12-23-2016, 01:34 PM	#6
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Alone I am not completely alone but I do feel lonely. I will see my mom on Christmas Day but that is it. I saw the kids last weekend and dropped off gifts. I did not decorate my home for the holidays because it seemed like too much work for just me and the baby kitty. It all just seems a little sad to me.

12-23-2016, 02:03 PM	#7
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,749 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I wish I were alone for the holiday so that I could do exactly what I want which is nothing except have some sort of marvelous movie marathon and cook something lovely for myself and perhaps read or paint. Instead I have to juggle people and responsibilities and appear "Holiday Appropriate" instead of the very anti "Christmas Spirit" way I actually feel. Putting on a fake veneer of cheer is so much work but it is still better than acting how I feel and having to defend it. Only 3 more days __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

12-02-2024, 03:26 AM	#8
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Been a while since I've felt like posting anything of substance. But this subject spoke to me. I've had some major changes since October of last year. One of my dearest friends, who I used to spend many holidays with, passed away from pancreatic cancer before Thanksgiving last year. It was horrendous to watch her go through that. I lost more than a friend, I lost a home where I felt so much love. I've tried this year to make sure others that are in my personal circle do not feel alone, yet I've felt some of the deepest loneliness I've ever experienced. I went through some relationship trauma this year that taught me how truly deeply I am confident and secure in being single and alone. I'm good with that. I watched a couple close friends experience their grief at losing family members and how they faced certain holidays in a year without their family members. How profound it changed how they felt and quietly grieved. One of those friends is my 92 year old neighbor that I've cared for, for several years, even though she's fiercely independent. She's alone now that her husband of 33 years is gone. And she's had a major falling out with her daughter who lives in another state. So she has no one except a few local friends that occasionally check on her. I try to make sure she never spends a major holiday alone. Even though Thanksgiving and Christmas are extremely difficult for me, as I actually find comfort in being alone then because of some deep family trauma regarding my kids and abusive mother. But "Mrs M" is very lonely as this is her first time ever being alone. On November 20th, I had major surgery to fuse my spine. It's been excruciatingly painful and I seriously just wanted to "stay in my nest" while my best friend and roommate went to be with his family. But at the last minute, I decided to call "Mrs M" and ask her if she didn't mind "watching over me" for a few hours Thanksgiving day? She was absolutely delighted and said "I'd love to be your nurse. You know how much I love you." So my friend delivered me to her that morning, as I could hardly move without searing pain, much less drive. Mrs M met me at the door with hugs and treats. She was so thrilled to help me settle into the couch and tuck her blankets around me. Then she sat nearby as she told me about all the baking she did the day before. Around noon, she made us a delicious, simple meal of chicken salad and her homemade pumpkin pie and it made her day to serve me and make me comfortable. I got to see her laugh and smile, which has been difficult with her depression. As I sat there nearly in tears from pain, her happiness and companionship meant so much to me. You see, for many years, on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I deeply crave to be alone. But this year meant something so spiritually different for me. Especially in my grief, I saw other people's loneliness and need. And it reminded me that I need to sometimes put my comfort zone and craving to be alone aside. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

11-24-2011, 11:39 PM	#2
SoNotHer Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Professional Sandbagger and Jenga Zumba Instructor Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: In the master control room of my world domination dreams Posts: 2,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,587 Thanked 4,735 Times in 1,409 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I'm glad folks found some good stuff to get into today, and thank you for stopping by. Here's to faraway friends and family on the holidays, even if we prefer them that way. lol

12-03-2011, 09:56 PM	#3
ruffryder Senior Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: guy ones Relationship Status: ... Join Date: May 2011 Location: chillin' in FL Posts: 3,690 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,951 Thanked 9,679 Times in 2,875 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	May be away from my family for xmas too. I don't know yet. I guess that's the price I pay for moving away and trying to find my happiness and life. My daughter wants me to come see her but have to see if time and finances allows and when. I know I want to see her again soon and I will as soon as I can. If it's not for xmas we will have our own little xmas when it happens.